Posted 11 July 2008 - 03:43 PM
My dad has been in the hospital lately, and I had a dream I was taking a train to visit him. There's really no train between Fargo and Sioux Falls, but my dad's a big train buff, so it fits.
While I was on the train, a guy who looked sort of like this guy I used to know came up and was threatening me. The closest celebrity I can think of that he looks like is David Letterman, but with longer hair and thick glasses. Anyway, the guy was a friend of someone associated with the Stars, and there was a plot to sign Cheli in Detroit and then trade him to Dallas. No one knew about it, but he had heard me say that "Cheli was a lock for the Wings" meaning that he would most certainly make the team. He took it to mean that his plot had been discovered and that I was going to make sure Cheli was locked in contract-wise. We argued UFAs and the CBA and no-trade clauses and other hockey stuff.
He had me alone in a compartment and was going to make me drink a gallon of Dallas Drake's Super Hot 34-Proof Barbecue Sauce, which Dally had started marketing to keep him occupied in his retirement. I should mention that ketsup is about as spicy as I usually go as far as condiments are concerned. I managed to duck when he put the bottle to my lips, and it spilled on his hand, causing it to burn and he dropped his machete. I grabbed it and took off running through the train with it. (Hey, mama said no running with scissors, she didn't say anything about a machete.)
I got back to my seat and was wondering what to do with the machete, when 5 Nazis boarded the train and were threatening to shoot everyone. Dallas Drake appeared and threw his Sauce on them, which blinded them and gave me the chance to hack them up with my machete.
Dallas was so grateful that he gave me a hug, but the train hit a bump and I got my teeth stuck in his hair. I was trying to apologize and extricate myself whilst rattling off Dallas Drake stats to prove to him what a big fan I was. He was very nice about it and smelled good. Kind of like steak.
Money on the board: Current total: $6
$1 for a goal by any current Wing after whom I have named a hamster. An additional $5 for a series-clinching goal scored by any current Wing after whom I have named a hamster. $5 if the other team fails to score against a current Wing goalie after whom I have named a hamster.
Hamsters I have had: (current Wings highlighted)
Henrik Pavel Tomas Nicklas Dominik
Niklas Matthew Daniel Robert
Johan Andreas Valtteri Jonathan
Andrew Patrick Ian Todd
Jordin Damien Gustav James