Since we have Gordie Howe Hat tricks

[Datsyerberger 279]

Henrik Zetterberg hat trick

1. Goal

2. Assist

3. Single handedly destroy a 5 on 3 PP

Tomas Holmstrom hat trick:

1. Goal (Waived off)

1. Goal

2. Assist

3. Goaltender interference

Jiri Hudler hat trick:

1. Goal

2. Assist

3. Cluck

Andreas Lilja hat trick

1. Block a shot somewhere uncomfortable and stay on the ice

2. Fight

3. Giveaway that results in a goal against

Johan Franzen hat trick:

1. Dive Goal

2. Chickens*** out of a fight Goal

3. Head injury Goal

Mikael Samuelsson hat trick:

1. Goal

2. Assist

3. Injure a teammate with a slapper

Pavel Datsyuk hat trick:

1. Goal

2. Assist

3. Cause 2 opposing players to collide

Tomas Kopecky hat trick:

1. Completely flub a breakaway

2. Get knocked on ass

3. Lose helmet from a check

Nick Lidstrom hat trick:

1. Shut down a 3 (or more) on 1

2. Bank one off of Homer

3. Goal from the red line

Kris Draper hat trick

1. Tossed out of faceoff circle

2. Tossed out of faceoff circle

3. Tossed out of faceoff circle

Kirk Maltby hat trick:

1. Goal

2. Start a fight

3. Avoid said fight

Valterri Filppula hat trick:

1. Miss open net

2. Pass on open net opportunity

3. Bobby Orr goal out of nowhere

Dan Cleary hat trick:

1. Goal

2. Assist

3. Interview

Chris Osgood hat trick (regular season):

1. Goal

2. Assist

3. Let in a 60+ ft. shot

Chris Osgood hat trick (playoffs):

1. Ozzie!

2. Ozzie!

3. Ozzie!

Dom Hasek hat trick:

1. Flop

2. Dive

3. Snow angel

Dom Hasek hat trick (playoffs):

1. Pushed into net for goal against.

2. Skate in crease violation for goal against

3. Stop a breakaway near the blue line

D-Mac hat trick:

1. Goal

2. Fight

3. Rock band

Marian Hossa hat trick:

1. Take discount 1 year contract for cup win

2. Top personal best for season goals

3. Disappear in playoffs

Mike Babcock hat trick:

1. Glare

2. Scowl

3. Fedora

[NGKEIB 32]

Great stuff!

Aaron Downey hat-trick:

1. Get a point

2. Fight

3. Be voted man of the match by crazed Wings fans

Niklas Kronwall hat-trick:

1. Big open ice hit where Nik leaves his feet

2. Big open ice hit where he doesn't leave his feet

3. Goal

Jonathan Ericsson hat-trick:

1. Flukey soft goal on weak slapper from blue-line that is deflected in by one of the opposing team's defenders

2. Deflect puck in own net with foot

3. Rag-doll one of the biggest ******* in the league and earn praise as the second coming of Bob Probert

Brian Rafalski hat-trick (regular season):

1. PP goal (via Holmström)

2. Give puck away in front of own net

3. Nice outlet passes to forwards

Brian Rafalski hat-trick (playoffs)

1. PP goal (via Holmström/opposing defender)

2. Block several punches with eyes

3. Nice outlet passes to forwards

[ComradeWasabi 109]

These are all pretty good.

[b.shanafan14 733]

Mikael Samuelsson Hat Trick:

2 costly plays and a game-winning goal

[NGKEIB 32]

Joey Kocur hat-trick (as player):

1. Break someones jaw/orbital bone/helmet with a huge right

2. Score a goal on a nice backhand move

3. Cut hand open on opponents helmet/teeth

Joey Kocur hat-trick (as assistant coach):

1. Salivate whenever any on-ice rough stuff gets going

2. Intimidate opposing team's players

3. Throw a chair on the ice

Bob Probert hat-trick:

1. Goal

2. Fight

3. Have a pot of coffee and a pack of cigarettes before each game, and do lines of coke between shifts

Robert Lang hat-trick:

1. Give the word 'pylon' a new meaning

2. Conveniently lose helmet in order to show off mullet

3. Score a clutch goal but fail to earn any respect from fans

[GoalieManPat 1,007]

Robert Lang hat trick:

1. Lazy

2. Suck

3. Grease hair

[Datsyerberger 279]

Sammy has a lot of possibilities, really. Another:

1. All SOGs hit opposing goalie's logo

2. Assassinate opposing d-man's shins

3. Puss out of anything physical

[Dano33 41]

I like Homer's, Maltbly's, and Cleary's.

[Datsyerberger 279]

Robert Lang hat trick:

1. Lazy

2. Suck

3. Grease hair

Haha, so true.

[Datsyerberger 279]

LGW.com hat trick (regular season):

1. Goalie thread

2. Enforcer thread

3. X player is lazy and he sucks thread

LGW.com hat trick (playoffs):

1. Osgood rocks thread

2. X player is awesome and he rocks thread

3. Bawww refs bawww

Edited May 20, 2009 by Datsyerberger

[T-Ruff 47]

Robert Lang:

1. Lazy & Suck

2. Be awesome

3. Score clutch goal

I can't take credit for this one, someone posted it in a similar thread a while back:

Chris Chelios hattrick:

3 goals in one season

[NGKEIB 32]

Darren Helm hat-trick:

1. Rack up 20 hits in his first 3 shifts

2. Score a break-away goal

3. Make Scott Niedermayer look as slow as Larry Murphy

[Guest EZBAKETHAGANGSTA]

Robert Lang hat trick:

1. Lazy

2. Suck

3. Grease hair

Says the fat guy whose lungs would explode if he had just one NHL shift

[egroen 384]

Ted Lindsay Hat Trick

1) Goal

2) Assist

3) Fight with a fan

[NGKEIB 32]

Mickey Redmond hat-trick (as commentator):

1. Rant about composite sticks

2. Rant about the 'new NHL'

3. Have blood pressure soar when a fight breaks out

(Other options could include:

4. Regularly use words or phrases like 'donnybrook', 'johnny-on-the-spot', 'bingo-bango' etc.

5. Be caught in elevator when biggest brawl in recent RW history breaks out)

Edited May 20, 2009 by NGKEIB

[Antilles328 0]

Lidstrom

1. Score Goal
2. Hold Opponent's Best Player Pointless
3. Win Norris Trophy

Zetterberg

1. Kill 5 on 3 penalty
2. Assist
3. Score Empty Net Goal

Datsyuk

1. 5 or more takeaways
2. Assist
3. Funny post game comment

Samuelsson

1. Be Lazy
2. Suck
3. Score game winning goal

Samuelsson (Alternate)

1. Miss net 10 ft to the right
2. Miss net 10 ft to the left
3. Score game winning goal

Cleary

1. Score Goal #1
2. Score Goal #2
3. Fall down/Miss Opportunity for Goal #3

Osgood

1. Let in easy/fluke goal
2. Let in goal where you have absolutely no chance
3. Stop everything else and win game

Holmstrom

1. Goal Called Off for Goalie Interference
2. Fall down
3. Make Datsyuk look bad

[maltbymaniac 13]

LMFAO. malts,hasek and franzens r the best.

[Lovin Jiri Fischer 147]

Samuelsson Hat Trick

1. Shoot about a mile wide

2. Hit goalie chest pad

3. Score amazing goal

Datsuk Hat Trick

1. Goal

2. Assist

3. Hilarious interview

Conklin Hat Trick

1. Shutout

2. Weak game

3. Play in Winter Classic

[aflac9262 211]

Dan O'Halloran Hat Trick (as Official)

1. Waive off Holmstrom Goal

2. Allow goalie interference on one team but not the other.

3. Get shot and survive.

Okay I'm a terrible person

Edited May 20, 2009 by aflac9262

[Finnish Wing 110]

Ville Leino hattrick:

1. Use the wrong helmet

2. Score a spin-o-rama goal

3. Go back to AHL

[Datsyerberger 279]

Dr. Rahmani hat trick:

1. Dekes

2. 1 hour of filming for 5 seconds of talking

3. Hand gestures

Brett Lebda hat trick:

1. Skate fast into the offensive zone

2. Skate quickly back into the defensive zone

3. Repeat

Edited May 20, 2009 by Datsyerberger

[dat's sick 1,002]

Ville Leino hattrick:

1. Use the wrong helmet

2. Score a spin-o-rama goal

3. Go back to AHL

This one made me LOL.

Mike Babcock hat-trick:

1. Put Sammy on the PP

2. Split up Zetterberg and Datsyuk

3. Still win the Stanley Cup (hopefully)

[Guest Four]

Ville Leino hattrick:

1. Use the wrong helmet

2. Score a spin-o-rama goal

3. Go back to AHL

Win.

[Palemoonlight 0]

Hudler:

1. Get destroyed by opposing player's hit.

2. Use insane hand-eye co-ordination to score goal.

3. Enjoy remaining 7:15 of ice time.

[SoDakWing 8]

Dom Hasek hat trick:

1. Flop

2. Snow Angel

3. Flip Marian Gaborik and get a tripping penalty.