57 replies to this topic

[puckloo39]

No. There's a lot of stuff right with you. Don't let this thread filled with fear of commitment or fear of taking a chance make you think less of yourself.

you're right about this. She is tougher than I am, emotionally. Good on you, Pat, for hanging in there with your guy. Some of it is luck, and the rest is what you make of your situation and how you choose to deal with things. I admire you.

[NewBelgium1554]

Single- It's cheaper.

Plus the job right now makes it a little hard, I am gone for a month every other month. I also live with my passport in the back pocket cause at anytime I could get the phone call I need to head out immediately, even on my days off, and that makes it difficult. Still trying to find someone cool with that. Not so easy.

[titanium2]

you're right about this. She is tougher than I am, emotionally. Good on you, Pat, for hanging in there with your guy. Some of it is luck, and the rest is what you make of your situation and how you choose to deal with things. I admire you.

Well you've gotta be pretty tough yourself if you're tough enough to accept where you are emotionally.

[puckloo39]

Well you've gotta be pretty tough yourself if you're tough enough to accept where you are emotionally.

I have dealt with what life has handed me, and I think I am tough, thanks! I am definitely a survivor, for what that is worth.

I haven't completely given up, but I don't look for love anymore. I think you're looking for trouble, when you do. Best wishes to those who have found the real thing.

I am the perfect girlfriend, by the way. I love hockey, understand the game, would go to a game anywhere, anytime, and won't drink all your beer (I don't really like it all that much). I look particularly fetching in my Red Wings jersey. What else could a guy want?

[glasgowcelticwing]

Been married to my wife for nearly a year. (Anniversary is in a couple of weeks ) Our first baby is due December 19. I've had an intresting and exciting past couple of years which has taken me from Glasgow in Scotland to Hull in England and moved from Scotland over to Michigan and from Michigan to Texas.

Edited by glasgowcelticwing, 19 September 2009 - 09:21 AM.

[Electrophile]

No. There's a lot of stuff right with you. Don't let this thread filled with fear of commitment or fear of taking a chance make you think less of yourself.

Where did you see that anywhere? Just curious, because I have neither. I just enjoy being on my own right now.

[Kira]

Been married to my wife for nearly a year. (Anniversary is in a couple of weeks ) Our first baby is due December 19. I've had an intresting and exciting past couple of years which has taken me from Glasgow in Scotland to Hull in England and moved from Scotland over to Michigan and from Michigan to Texas.

December 19th was my mom's birthday.

I think one of the things that has made us last was moving 200 miles away from all family and friends. It taught us to depend on each other...you couldn't run home if things got rough. We learned a lot going through as much adversity as we have. It made us both tougher in a lot of ways.

[titanium2]

Where did you see that anywhere? Just curious, because I have neither. I just enjoy being on my own right now.

What makes you think I was talking about you? And why does it even matter to you what I say?

[Electrophile]

What makes you think I was talking about you? And why does it even matter to you what I say?

I didn't say you were talking about me, did I? I asked where you came up with it and then distanced myself from the people you were supposedly talking about, but nowhere did I say you singled out me specifically with my comment. And I suppose nothing anyone says here about anything matters to anyone at any given time, but we still respond to it, don't we? That's the whole point of a message board. You make a comment, someone replies to it. If you don't like that give and take, don't say anything at all.

[titanium2]

I didn't say you were talking about me, did I? I asked where you came up with it and then distanced myself from the people you were supposedly talking about, but nowhere did I say you singled out me specifically with my comment. And I suppose nothing anyone says here about anything matters to anyone at any given time, but we still respond to it, don't we? That's the whole point of a message board. You make a comment, someone replies to it. If you don't like that give and take, don't say anything at all.

No I didn't single you out. You seemed to have done that yourself. If your post had stopped with "Where did you see that anywhere?" then you wouldn't have but you didn't. While some of the other posters on here just ignored it you responded in a manner that had 'personal' written all over it . We can pick and choose which messages in which to respond. Some we just ignore or dismiss but you chose to respond to my comment in a way as if you felt a need to defend yourself; show how independent and strong you are as if I somehow communicated to you personally that you aren't.

It really comes down to this for me. The whole "single and loving it" facade is what I have a problem with in general. I personally don't believe that anyone loves being single. I just believe that part of the human condition is wanting to make connections with others especially in an intimate monogamous manner. But of course, we're not supposed to acknowledge our basic emotions or show any kind of vulnerability. Ever. Why should we be afraid to admit that being single sucks? It does suck. No, it's not an illness but it's not something to be content with or enjoy existentially. No, there's nothing wrong with you if you are single but don't act as if it was your first choice.

[55fan]

No I didn't single you out. You seemed to have done that yourself. If your post had stopped with "Where did you see that anywhere?" then you wouldn't have but you didn't. While some of the other posters on here just ignored it you responded in a manner that had 'personal' written all over it . We can pick and choose which messages in which to respond. Some we just ignore or dismiss but you chose to respond to my comment in a way as if you felt a need to defend yourself; show how independent and strong you are as if I somehow communicated to you personally that you aren't.

It really comes down to this for me. The whole "single and loving it" facade is what I have a problem with in general. I personally don't believe that anyone loves being single. I just believe that part of the human condition is wanting to make connections with others especially in an intimate monogamous manner. But of course, we're not supposed to acknowledge our basic emotions or show any kind of vulnerability. Ever. Why should we be afraid to admit that being single sucks? It does suck. No, it's not an illness but it's not something to be content with or enjoy existentially. No, there's nothing wrong with you if you are single but don't act as if it was your first choice.

Totally disagree with the last paragraph (I'll stay out of the battle in the first one). I'm much happier being alone than with someone. I only date guys who feel the same way. I hadn't dated for 8 years until the guy I started seeing about a month age.

For me, it's a control issue. I like to do what I like on my own schedule (in my free time, natch). I like being able to make my own decisions for my life. I don't like to live in fear and doubt. I haven't spoken to my guy since Tuesday. I've been busy. He really doesn't care. I may call him today if the Vikings win. He'll be miserable otherwise.

Some people enjoy sharing. Those people are happier in relationships. Some of us have lived alone for so long that we can't imagine having to check with someone before we do something.

To each their own. Different relationships work for different people, and some people are completely happy with no relationship. If things don't work out in mine, I'm not looking for another. I wasn't looking when this one came along.

It's a personal thing that depends on a person's personality.

[puckloo39]

It is personal, and not always a choice. Sometime circumstances and life events intervene and there is nothing one can do about the situation. Similarly, if I choose to not involve myself with someone else, that's my choice. Is it fun to have to do everything alone? No. Not always. Is it more fun than having to deal with someone who isn't in synch with you and causes you heart-ache? Yes.

I've been engaged twice. Once, I broke it off. The other, he did. OK. Both were legitimate and neither were ugly -- it didn't work out. I am thrilled for those amongst you who have found Mr. or Miss Perfect. Awesome!! But it doesn't make me less of a person if I am alone. It makes me stronger than many people I know who blame their spouse and whine about how he/she made their life miserable.

The divorce rate in this country is about 50%. I think. I don't have any statistics and have no intention of "proving" it -- it just seems to me that all the coupled up people aren't any better off than I am. They just get better tax breaks.

[Electrophile]

The whole "single and loving it" facade is what I have a problem with in general. I personally don't believe that anyone loves being single.

I don't care what you believe, you couldn't be more wrong if you tried. I enjoyed when I was in relationships and I enjoy being single right now. I'm sorry, do you think single people should just sit around and weep into tissues because they don't have someone to go frolicking through the meadow with? Give me a damn break. Now it IS personal. I am single by choice. I could very well go get a date if I wanted one, but I don't. I like being alone right now. I am happy. I'm not lying, faking or putting on pretenses. I spend a lot of time with my family and my friends, I walk around book stores getting lost in the various aisles, I have a new puppy to take care of....my life is very full and very rich and there's no man in it right now.

I'm not going to lie and say I'm miserable and gee golly gosh I wish I had a man to make me feel better. I wasn't raised by my parents to find fulfillment solely in a relationship. They raised both my sister and I to find happiness within ourselves before we look for it in other people. I'm sorry you think being single sucks. That's not my problem, though. Just because you've convinced yourself otherwise doesn't make you right. Grow up a little.

[GMRwings1983]

This thread reminds me of the song "Only the Lonely" by Sinatra.

[titanium2]

I don't care what you believe, you couldn't be more wrong if you tried. I enjoyed when I was in relationships and I enjoy being single right now. I'm sorry, do you think single people should just sit around and weep into tissues because they don't have someone to go frolicking through the meadow with? Give me a damn break. Now it IS personal. I am single by choice. I could very well go get a date if I wanted one, but I don't. I like being alone right now. I am happy. I'm not lying, faking or putting on pretenses. I spend a lot of time with my family and my friends, I walk around book stores getting lost in the various aisles, I have a new puppy to take care of....my life is very full and very rich and there's no man in it right now.

I'm not going to lie and say I'm miserable and gee golly gosh I wish I had a man to make me feel better. I wasn't raised by my parents to find fulfillment solely in a relationship. They raised both my sister and I to find happiness within ourselves before we look for it in other people. I'm sorry you think being single sucks. That's not my problem, though. Just because you've convinced yourself otherwise doesn't make you right. Grow up a little.

I never said being single should make you miserable. It sucks, but why does that have to equal misery in your mind? My attitude towards it is just, "It sucks, but whatever, no big deal." But a situation to love as in particularly enjoy? As in "I love being single"? You sure? Look, it's your life, but yeah... You certainly sound happy. I'm sure watching dudes get hit in the balls is a real fun time. But don't listen to me, I have some growing up to do.

[titanium2]

This thread reminds me of the song "Only the Lonely" by Sinatra.

Is that the one where he sings, "Let me give you a reason to live" or something like that?

[GMRwings1983]

Is that the one where he sings, "Let me give you a reason to live" or something like that?

I don't think so.

[Electrophile]

But a situation to love as in particularly enjoy? As in "I love being single"? You sure? Look, it's your life, but yeah... You certainly sound happy.

Just because I'm annoyed at your base assumptions doesn't mean I'm not happy in my life. And yes, I'm sure I enjoy being single. There's nothing wrong with it. Just like there's nothing wrong with being with someone. If you think it's impossible to enjoy being on your own for a while, that's something you need to work out within yourself, not project on other people.


I honestly don't know why you're so incredulous about it.

[Rivalred]

Titanium2,

I have a crush on you... Wanna hook up? Come on baby, come to daddy....

Edited by Rivalred, 20 September 2009 - 03:30 PM.

[solnyshko]

I already know I'm a great person and a great catch who will treat somebody well. If others don't recognize that, that's their loss.

Rock on, my friend!