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Corrupt a Wish


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#741 MidMichSteve

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Posted 15 March 2010 - 01:35 PM

You finally learn the fine art of self control. (Shame on you for taking this long.) :)
You keep your mouth shut and your head explodes from the strain.

I wish Campbell hadn't been injured yesterday.
I don't want Chicago fans to have any excuses after we kick their asses in the first round.

Edited by MidMichSteve, 15 March 2010 - 01:36 PM.

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#742 55fan

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Posted 15 March 2010 - 04:02 PM

Campbell wasn't injured. He is just fine and dandy. He kicks our ass and we go home early.

I wish that stupid butthead at work would quit talking about me behind my back.

#743 puckloo39

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Posted 16 March 2010 - 04:02 PM

I wish that stupid butthead at work would quit talking about me behind my back.



Done. He gets all full of himself, him and his pea-brain and tiny appendage, and now confronts you at every opportunity, trumpeting his ridiculous opinions and judgements about you and everyone you know and love. You wish to beat him about the head and shoulders with a wiffle bat... but that would make you as low as him.

So, you settle for slashing his tires when no one is looking :ph34r:



I wish I could go on a nice, all expenses paid vacation for a week.

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#744 WizardOfOz30

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Posted 16 March 2010 - 09:30 PM

You get to go on that trip, but the person that pays for it wants to stay at your house while you're gone. They have parties every night, destroy everything in your your house and ruin your roses too. Maybe paying for that trip yourself would have been a better idea.



I wish I could run away and start my life somewhere else, without worrying about what I left behind.

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#745 puckloo39

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Posted 16 March 2010 - 10:31 PM

You get to go on that trip, but the person that pays for it wants to stay at your house while you're gone. They have parties every night, destroy everything in your your house and ruin your roses too. Maybe paying for that trip yourself would have been a better idea.



I wish I could run away and start my life somewhere else, without worrying about what I left behind.


my roses!! :scared: :ranting: <_<

((hugs Dawn)) before answering, that if you run away, it turns out things are not all that much better where you end up.

You sucessfully escape your current situation after making sure your kids are cared for. Free at last, you run out of money after traveling all over the world to escape and to find a new reality -- and wind up living in Pittsburgh. There are Sidney Crosby ads everywhere, and you discover that you have to worship him or face never ending scorn and derision, or worse, from the Sid-the-Kid-kool-aid sodden natives in PA.

I wish my sore elbow would get better. :(

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#746 55fan

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Posted 17 March 2010 - 07:28 AM

Not only does it not hurt now, it will never hurt again. I have taken the liberty (through magical means, the explanation of which does not concern you) of removing your elbows altogether. Your arms now end at your shoulders. I thought of putting your fingers there, but they looked funny, so I stuck your wrists on your boobs and your fingers reach out the front of your shirt.

I wish I had a bit more ambition today.

#747 WizardOfOz30

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Posted 17 March 2010 - 08:49 PM

:lol: You're very creative today Karen.


You are so ambitious today that you decide not to sleep. Instead you clean your house spotless, wash Stevie and clean him out also. It's only noon so you decide to go do the same for your boyfriend. Now it's time to go to work, and you are are so productive that they come to expect that from you every day. Shouldn't be so ambitious. <_<

I wish that I were more focused these days, too much on my mind.

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#748 Echolalia

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Posted 21 March 2010 - 04:53 PM

:lol: You're very creative today Karen.


You are so ambitious today that you decide not to sleep. Instead you clean your house spotless, wash Stevie and clean him out also. It's only noon so you decide to go do the same for your boyfriend. Now it's time to go to work, and you are are so productive that they come to expect that from you every day. Shouldn't be so ambitious. <_<

I wish that I were more focused these days, too much on my mind.


Granted, here are some glasses to help focus things.

I wish I could get rid of this terrible cough that I've had since December :(

#749 55fan

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Posted 21 March 2010 - 06:14 PM

Serious interlude: You and me both, I've had a cough since about then. It just yo-yos between the sinuses and chest. I haven't smoked in over a month because I'm so sick of it and trying to get rid of it. I'm starting to think it's allergies.

Now back to our game: You find a lovely cough medicine that gets rid of the cough and all respiratory ailments. You breathe freely and deeply, without effort. Unfortunately, it makes you so constipated that you never make a doodoo again. People tell you you're full of crap, and you just have to sadly stare at the ground because you know it's true. You have no retort and your pants are too tight.

I wish my supervisor would reconsider quitting and come back to work on Monday.

#750 puckloo39

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Posted 21 March 2010 - 07:25 PM

I wish my supervisor would reconsider quitting and come back to work on Monday.


Wish granted. He reconsiders and returns to work, but only on the condition that you become his boss, instead of the other way around. You are now saddled with reporting up to someone who makes your life miserable, and he is one happy camper, since he doesn't have to do the administrative crap anymore. You become more and more anal and controlling and dumber by the day -- since that is apparently what happens to anyone who carries the title of director or supervisor. At least in my world that is true. The title makes one stupid, evidently.

I wish I had someone to help me get rid of the 'possum that is now living under my back deck. :blink: Damn, that thing is ugly.

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#751 55fan

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Posted 21 March 2010 - 07:27 PM

Possum is dead. The family of skunks that moved in killed it.

I wish potato chips had 100% of all one's daily nutritional needs and only 100 calories per pound.

#752 puckloo39

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Posted 21 March 2010 - 07:38 PM

Possum is dead. The family of skunks that moved in killed it.

I wish potato chips had 100% of all one's daily nutritional needs and only 100 calories per pound.


They're not? :blush: You just have to drink diet Coke and the calories are cancelled. Problem is, you have constant gas and burps from the Diet Cokes and the runs from all that fiber and grease. Those 'tater chips are so good, you don't eat anything else. Unfortunately, you have to eat so many to get your calorie requirements in, you get sick and tired of them and starve to death.

Epitaph: *burp*


I wish I could have gone to Belize with my friends on vacation.

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#753 55fan

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Posted 21 March 2010 - 08:12 PM

You can! I'll use my magic powers to pop you there right now. Of course, you end up in a jungle with savage beasts and all sorts of dysentery problems. You come back to the US and due to a passport issue with another Linda ***** (protecting your privacy there) you are detained and sent to a Belizian prison where you and Juanita bond in ways you never knew possible. We'll miss you. Just a heads-up: There's no hockey in Belize.

I wish I had enough cash to visit a casino tonight.

#754 puckloo39

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Posted 21 March 2010 - 08:25 PM

You can! I'll use my magic powers to pop you there right now. Of course, you end up in a jungle with savage beasts and all sorts of dysentery problems. You come back to the US and due to a passport issue with another Linda ***** (protecting your privacy there) you are detained and sent to a Belizian prison where you and Juanita bond in ways you never knew possible. We'll miss you. Just a heads-up: There's no hockey in Belize.

I wish I had enough cash to visit a casino tonight.



You do. You just won't be able to stay very long with $4.38 to gamble away.

I wish 55 would solve all my problems and I would never have another worry the rest of my life.

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#755 55fan

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Posted 21 March 2010 - 09:07 PM

Oh, good heavens. If I had that power, I'd do it. I just sent you to a Belizian prison, what more do you want from me? I got you away from your pee-pee-head boss. Isn't that worth something even if you had to trade him for Juanita? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! The pressure! I'm cracking!

Oh, wait. When you said 55, did you mean Murph? In that case. Granted. You have all the dollar beer and dogs you can handle. Doesn't that solve everything?

Think about it. You can sell them at a profit and make money. You have food and drink or you can trade with someone who has unlimited lutefisk and tequila (or whatever suits your mood) and you can shove the dogs down your boss's throat until he chokes.



I wish the dikes hold until the river goes down. Crest was tonight! Woohoo!

Edited by 55fan, 21 March 2010 - 09:08 PM.


#756 MidMichSteve

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 09:51 AM

Oh, good heavens. If I had that power, I'd do it. I just sent you to a Belizian prison, what more do you want from me? I got you away from your pee-pee-head boss. Isn't that worth something even if you had to trade him for Juanita? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! The pressure! I'm cracking!

Oh, wait. When you said 55, did you mean Murph? In that case. Granted. You have all the dollar beer and dogs you can handle. Doesn't that solve everything?

Think about it. You can sell them at a profit and make money. You have food and drink or you can trade with someone who has unlimited lutefisk and tequila (or whatever suits your mood) and you can shove the dogs down your boss's throat until he chokes.



I wish the dikes hold until the river goes down. Crest was tonight! Woohoo!

The dikes hold up just great. The river, however, rises to unpredicted and unprecedented heights.
Damn!

I'm very happy for you and your fellow Fargoinians. :) Floods just scare the hell out of me.

I wish that everyone, everywhere, had enough to eat on a daily basis.

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#757 puckloo39

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 10:11 AM

The dikes hold up just great. The river, however, rises to unpredicted and unprecedented heights.
Damn!

I'm very happy for you and your fellow Fargoinians. :) Floods just scare the hell out of me.

I wish that everyone, everywhere, had enough to eat on a daily basis.


Dikes. Sounds like dykes, so politically incorrect. Although I know some who could hold back the floods or anything else you would like them to address for you. :blink: Floods scare me, too. I will take tornadoes and fires over a flood any day. Here and gone, as opposed to sitting and rotting -- like post-Katrina/Rita/Ike. *shudder*

OK, back to your wish. A very nice wish, and hard to corrupt... but OK. Everyone has more than enough to eat, and we all end up like the citizens on the mother ship in "WALL-e" -- so obese and lazy we have to have our own personal hover-lounges to get around, with our supersized snacks and drinks. Sounds good, except that no work gets done,ever, and the sheer weight of all the people on Earth shifts the axis of the planet, and we all freeze or fry to death.

Diet time!!

I wish my boss would grow a brain, or some balls, or a spine. Take your pick. Any or all would help.

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#758 55fan

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 03:15 PM

Your boss grows a brain, some balls, and a spine. Unfortunately, it all grows in the same area- the balls. Now you have a stiff thing that thinks for itself and is loaded with testosterone. It takes over your boss's body, and you now have to get your work done whilst being chased around the office by a horny, yet still stupid, man.

I wish my philodendron that I re-potted would grow nicely.

#759 WizardOfOz30

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 08:54 PM

Ok, it grows so nicely that it's now out of control and you don't have anywhere else to re-pot it again. At least you didn't kill it....yet (Sorry, I'm not very creative even though I thought I could)



I wish I could make a decision about a trip, if I wait to long the flight will get too expensive.

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#760 Casey

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 09:48 PM

Oh, easily done! The decision gods have spoken. Go. Problem is, your flight is in a leftover DC3 that was last maintained when LBJ was President, and your seat neighbor is a 5'0", 395# gentleman who has not bathed in a year starting with 20.

I wish my March Madness bracket wasn't completely trashed.
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