882 replies to this topic

[55fan]

You mess up and expose the entire city to massive doses of radiation. Mutant children line the streets. Bald men can be used as streetlights. Your rotation is over NOW, mister. As is your medical career.

I wish I could talk myself into doing some actual work this weekend.

[WizardOfOz30]

Work is overrated, you work hard all week. But since you want to talk yourself into it, you do nothing but work around the house this weekend. No stopping to sleep or eat, but your place is immaculate, your yard is all trimmed and looks great with all those new plants and flowers. Stevie is most appreciative that you cleaned him inside and out, even waxed too. By the time it's time to go back to work you are so exhausted that you can barely move.

I wish I were better able to help my friends in need that are too far away for me to see.

[Echolalia]

Work is overrated, you work hard all week. But since you want to talk yourself into it, you do nothing but work around the house this weekend. No stopping to sleep or eat, but your place is immaculate, your yard is all trimmed and looks great with all those new plants and flowers. Stevie is most appreciative that you cleaned him inside and out, even waxed too. By the time it's time to go back to work you are so exhausted that you can barely move.

I wish I were better able to help my friends in need that are too far away for me to see.

They don't want to see you, so wish granted.

I wish I didn't procrastinate and put myself in terrible situations.

[solnyshko]

You don't procrastinate anymore, and finish everything early.. but now you have a lot of extra time to over think every decision you made. Panic ensues, you double back and change your mind, and you're worse off for it.

I wish that I did not have to deal with the crazy that will be my work tomorrow.

[Jenny]

You don't, but it's because you've come down with chickenpox and can't go in.

I wish I didn't have to face the negative gloom-and-doom Wings fans at work today.

[MidMichSteve]

I wish I didn't have to face the negative gloom-and-doom Wings fans at work today.

You don't have to face them because they all miss work today. They were depressed because of the loss and were too hungover to make it to work.

Guess who has to do all of their work.

I wish the Phoenix Coyote players would all catch ptomaine food poisoning.

Edited by MidMichSteve, 26 April 2010 - 09:38 AM.

[55fan]

Oh, not Robert. I love him.

Fine. They all catch it, but they are better by gametime. The Wings were looking forward to playing sick guys and they don't put in a full effort. They lose and the Yotes go on to win the Cup. Other teams start poisoning themselves before Game 7. Soon fans start joining in. There is no one left to watch hockey except for Leafs fans, who never get to the playoffs, much less a Game 7. Hockey becomes a niche sport and is televised only on some channel that few people get without going into the insane upper range of the cable payments. Oh, wait...



I wish I could crack my neck.

[SouthernWingsFan]

Sure, but your entire body is cracked as well.

I wish for the obvious tonight for Wings fans.

[MidMichSteve]

Wings win a highly contested game seven. Coyote fans, in their frustration, throw hundreds of live rattlesnakes on the ice during the celebration.

Game one in The HP Pavilion, features The Detroit Griffins vs. The San Jose Sharks.

I wish I had a fresh donut right now.

Edited by MidMichSteve, 27 April 2010 - 09:51 AM.

[55fan]

It's so fresh that it pinches your female co-worker in the butt. She gets you for sexual harassment. You try to convince people that it was the donut, but they don't believe you. You are sentenced to life in a mental facility for the criminally insane.

I wish I felt as good as I did at age 30.

[MidMichSteve]

Well, seeing as how there is no way to feel you, I'll send a rep from your area.

I look forward to his report.

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I wish that I had a new Porsche.

Edited by MidMichSteve, 28 April 2010 - 01:40 PM.

[Casey]

Granted! It just has no engine, and has been filled with concrete.

I wish my board exam scores would come back well.

[WizardOfOz30]

I was thinking of digging this thread up the other day.


Your board score come back great....in 3 years. Sorry it took so long.



I wish that some people didn't thrive on drama so much.

[55fan]

OK. The entertainment industry, including sports, shrivels up and dies. Hockey players are unemployed. Ice girls are reduced to being ladies of the evening. Zamboni drivers become taxi drivers and only drive slowly in circles.

I wish I had some doritos.

[MidMichSteve]

Lucky you, the Frito-Lay truck makes an unscheduled stop at your place. Unfortunately it's because of a roll-over accident. Yummmmmm, eat up!

I was thinking of digging this thread up the other day.

Thanks!

I wish the unemployment rate would drop below 8%.

[Echolalia]

Lucky you, the Frito-Lay truck makes an unscheduled stop at your place. Unfortunately it's because of a roll-over accident. Yummmmmm, eat up!


Thanks!

I wish the unemployment rate would drop below 8%.

Granted, but child labor laws are abolished.

I wish I could hurry up and finish my application

[55fan]

You finish in record time. Unfortunately, they reject it because it was filled out in green crayon. Next time, take the time to find a pen.

I wish they would get rid of the instigator rule.

[Casey]

Granted! Hockey is now a free-for-all, and Howard gets a concussion in game 1 of the preseason trying to fight Chara.

I wish UPS weren't so slow.

[55fan]

They were there and gone before you knew it. They are so fast that they can't wait for you to answer the bell if you happen to be attending to personal business. If you want your package, no eating, peeing, or sex for you until you get your package. (Say "hi" to the mrs.)

I wish I had a free shopping spree at a grocery store.

[WizardOfOz30]

You have that shopping spree but in all your excitement you don't get the essentials that you really need you just get all the things you never buy because they aren't in your budget. You also decide it's time to expand your tastes and get all sorts of new things you've never tried before. Sorry you wasted the opportunity.


I wish that I could leave work early today....but not permanently