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#1 Echolalia

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 10:10 AM

I have the shakes.

Friday, August 13th, 2010

How appropriate that today of all days is when I finally crack. Its been months since I've last witnessed professional hockey, and it was a bittersweet moment when I observed an anticlimactic ending between two of my most hated opponents. It was an exciting series, but my heart had died in round two with the Wings. And that marked the beginning.
I thought my rations of beer-leagues and you-tube videos were large enough to get me through the desolate summer months, but disaster stuck. I was so foolish not to think ahead. How did I not realize that three weekend camping trips were planned all overlapping my beer-league games? I've gone close to a month without playing a game, and now its taken all my effort to keep from collecting the ice from the fridge just to feel its cool touch.
I can only wonder about my beer-league companions. We lost contact after my first expedition. I don't even know if they're alive anymore, or what condition their ration stockpile was in. I don't know if I will be alive either, come our next game this Saturday night. The youtube videos and hockey stories have all been used up. I've survived this long on drawing up elaborate hockey plays on a pile of post-it notes at my employment shelter, but how many plays are left to discover?? There's nothing left of any substance to feed me. I pray to the hockey gods for the strength to endue this unholy heatwave for just another 48 hours. That's all I need.
I rest my remaining hopes in this note that someone, anybody can find me and share their rations with me, but my body believes it to be too late. I'm withering away, starved to the bone. To whomever may find this: tell my family I love them, should I not make it to Saturday. Godspeed.

Echolalia

#2 Esquire

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 10:14 AM

http://www.amazon.co...&rnid=387545011

Go. Quickly.
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#3 stevkrause

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 10:15 AM

he fakes left... wait, he FAKES about faking left... WAIT, he fakes, FAKING, no he THINKS about faking, faking...

I need to sit down...

All I have to say about Holland and our off-season:

Here in this thread

Here in this one as well

Here in this one too

and finally

Here


Holland is a damn good GM. period.


#4 Hank Dats 'N Homer

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 10:20 AM

he fakes left... wait, he FAKES about faking left... WAIT, he fakes, FAKING, no he THINKS about faking, faking...

I need to sit down...

tackling fuel...

#5 T.Low

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 10:55 AM

Let's start a thread about...


...

...



....


:unsure:



...



hmm.

#6 Hank Dats 'N Homer

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 11:00 AM

Let's start a thread about...


...

...



....


:unsure:



...



hmm.


Atleast the thread topic had more of a point then this post...

#7 wingnut40

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 11:03 AM

I think these are the side effects of Fandorum.
Go rest high on that mountain, cause son your work on Earth is done. Go to Heaven a'shouting love for the Father and the Son. Ruslan Salei, Brad McCrimmon, Stefan Liv, Pavol Demitra, and the entire Lokomotiv team.

#8 55fan

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 11:03 AM

You poor thing. Let's look at your options.

1) Take a large sheet of graph paper. Make a rink out of it with each square=1 square inch of ice surface. Calculate what blade curve would produce the best chance of scoring for each degree off of square that the shooter is off, based on the net, when shooting. Calculate the trajectory needed to hit each zone. Repeat with non-dominant hand for reference for other-handed players. Compare stats with Eva for verification.

2) Hang out in the Hottest Wings thread. Go back to the beginning- 700+ pages ago- and look at all of the pictures (most of which have been moved or expired).

3) Trace the genealogy of all major hockey players and determine which of their common relatives would produce the best hockey player. Find them and take samples of their reproductive starter kits. Mate them in a lab. Find women willing to carry them to term and raise them as the next generation of the Greatest Team on Earth. (see above suggestion for potential volunteer list)

4) Get back in the Water Cooler and finish your freakin' great adventure.

#9 stevkrause

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 11:07 AM

You poor thing. Let's look at your options.

1) Take a large sheet of graph paper. Make a rink out of it with each square=1 square inch of ice surface. Calculate what blade curve would produce the best chance of scoring for each degree off of square that the shooter is off, based on the net, when shooting. Calculate the trajectory needed to hit each zone. Repeat with non-dominant hand for reference for other-handed players. Compare stats with Eva for verification.

2) Hang out in the Hottest Wings thread. Go back to the beginning- 700+ pages ago- and look at all of the pictures (most of which have been moved or expired).

3) Trace the genealogy of all major hockey players and determine which of their common relatives would produce the best hockey player. Find them and take samples of their reproductive starter kits. Mate them in a lab. Find women willing to carry them to term and raise them as the next generation of the Greatest Team on Earth. (see above suggestion for potential volunteer list)

4) Get back in the Water Cooler and finish your freakin' great adventure.

perfect!
:clap:

Atleast the thread topic had more of a point then this post...

I don't understand why people feel the need to even post when they're adding absolutely no substance to a thread... even if it's just a light-hearted, silly thread, such as this... if someone just wants to join a thread to be an ass, take it to another board...

All I have to say about Holland and our off-season:

Here in this thread

Here in this one as well

Here in this one too

and finally

Here


Holland is a damn good GM. period.


#10 Esquire

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 11:27 AM

I don't understand why people feel the need to even post when they're adding absolutely no substance to a thread... even if it's just a light-hearted, silly thread, such as this... if someone just wants to join a thread to be an ass, take it to another board...


Post count +1? That's all I've got.
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#11 Wingnut in WA

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 12:04 PM

So last night my wife and I are watching the wings yotes series on NHL network. For some reason I got something in my eye and it kinda looked like I was crying and she turned to me and said, "You're having red wing withdrawls aren't you?" I just went with it and said "yes dear". God damn hockey needs to start already! :)

#12 Z Winged Dangler

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 12:19 PM

I was at the summer superstars charity event in Winnipeg last night. got to see darren helm and derek meech among other NHLers and AHL guys...and travis hamonic from the wheat kings. there was a skills competition between the 2nd and 3rd and helm is back to back fastest skater in the event. he beat mason raymond. only travis zajac (99mph) beat meech for the hardest shot (98mph). didn't know meech shot that hard. all in all, it was a fun night. woo hockey :thumbup:

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#13 Hank Dats 'N Homer

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 12:20 PM

perfect!
:clap:


I don't understand why people feel the need to even post when they're adding absolutely no substance to a thread... even if it's just a light-hearted, silly thread, such as this... if someone just wants to join a thread to be an ass, take it to another board...

Is this directed towards me? I was basically trying to say the same thing you did but towards T.Low for acting like a prick to the to OP.

Edited by Hank Dats 'N Homer, 13 August 2010 - 12:21 PM.


#14 j.hoop

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 12:27 PM

Echo, and everyone else in this thread, I am with you. I've felt this way since the 3rd period rang in game 5 of our series vs the Sharks, and will continue to feel it until the puck drops on our first preseason game. Even playing hockey on Saturdays cannot subdue this torment.
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This just in, Stevie gives Canada the Order of Yzerman. Country bows and feels unworthy.


#15 HankthaTank

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 12:34 PM

Its blueadams line combo thread time.... please no negs Posted Image

They just seem to start a nice 1,000 reply debate that is always an entertaining deal. By the way I have been twitching in my left eye since game 5 of the Sharks series, no lie lol. Need to get it checked out? Or just wait until camp to see if it subsides?

Edited by HankthaTank, 13 August 2010 - 12:45 PM.

TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN, MUCH IS EXPECTED.

#16 stevkrause

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 12:42 PM

Is this directed towards me? I was basically trying to say the same thing you did but towards T.Low for acting like a prick to the to OP.

no, no, no, no no... it was towards T. Low as well, I was agreeing with you!

Edited by stevkrause, 13 August 2010 - 12:46 PM.

All I have to say about Holland and our off-season:

Here in this thread

Here in this one as well

Here in this one too

and finally

Here


Holland is a damn good GM. period.


#17 Branton87

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 12:52 PM

You can always start a "_______ is lazy and sucks" thread.

Or start a thread about what the lines are going to be next season.

Or a thread about how good at hockey Meech is.

All of the above are terrible ideas.

Is it the end of September yet?

#18 CaliWingsNut

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 12:54 PM

I have the shakes.

Friday, August 13th, 2010

How appropriate that today of all days is when I finally crack. Its been months since I've last witnessed professional hockey, and it was a bittersweet moment when I observed an anticlimactic ending between two of my most hated opponents. It was an exciting series, but my heart had died in round two with the Wings. And that marked the beginning.
I thought my rations of beer-leagues and you-tube videos were large enough to get me through the desolate summer months, but disaster stuck. I was so foolish not to think ahead. How did I not realize that three weekend camping trips were planned all overlapping my beer-league games? I've gone close to a month without playing a game, and now its taken all my effort to keep from collecting the ice from the fridge just to feel its cool touch.
I can only wonder about my beer-league companions. We lost contact after my first expedition. I don't even know if they're alive anymore, or what condition their ration stockpile was in. I don't know if I will be alive either, come our next game this Saturday night. The youtube videos and hockey stories have all been used up. I've survived this long on drawing up elaborate hockey plays on a pile of post-it notes at my employment shelter, but how many plays are left to discover?? There's nothing left of any substance to feed me. I pray to the hockey gods for the strength to endue this unholy heatwave for just another 48 hours. That's all I need.
I rest my remaining hopes in this note that someone, anybody can find me and share their rations with me, but my body believes it to be too late. I'm withering away, starved to the bone. To whomever may find this: tell my family I love them, should I not make it to Saturday. Godspeed.

Echolalia


I suggest you write a book about it.

Figures don't lie, but liars sure figure. - Mark Twain


#19 Z Winged Dangler

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 12:59 PM

You can always start a "_______ is lazy and sucks" thread.

Or start a thread about what the lines are going to be next season.

Or a thread about how good at hockey Meech is.

All of the above are terrible ideas.

Is it the end of September yet?


i'll be fine on Sept 7th when NHL 11 comes out. then i can atleast play a "pretend" season. it's nice seeing the Wings win the cup every year!

"I play hockey, but I am not very good.  Can someone please tell me what it would take to sign with the Wings ? I can use a million or two."  ~ arag

 

Dan Cleary is an Xbox 360.  While good for a while, it's time for the new generation to take over.


#20 HankthaTank

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Posted 13 August 2010 - 01:00 PM

Just watched the best of the '08 Finals on youtube... s*** this probably some of the worst form of torture and I enjoy doing it to myself everyday... Posted Image hmm I agree that sounded a tad dirty indeed.
TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN, MUCH IS EXPECTED.





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