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Echolalia

Hockey withdrawals

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I have the shakes.

Friday, August 13th, 2010

How appropriate that today of all days is when I finally crack. Its been months since I've last witnessed professional hockey, and it was a bittersweet moment when I observed an anticlimactic ending between two of my most hated opponents. It was an exciting series, but my heart had died in round two with the Wings. And that marked the beginning.

I thought my rations of beer-leagues and you-tube videos were large enough to get me through the desolate summer months, but disaster stuck. I was so foolish not to think ahead. How did I not realize that three weekend camping trips were planned all overlapping my beer-league games? I've gone close to a month without playing a game, and now its taken all my effort to keep from collecting the ice from the fridge just to feel its cool touch.

I can only wonder about my beer-league companions. We lost contact after my first expedition. I don't even know if they're alive anymore, or what condition their ration stockpile was in. I don't know if I will be alive either, come our next game this Saturday night. The youtube videos and hockey stories have all been used up. I've survived this long on drawing up elaborate hockey plays on a pile of post-it notes at my employment shelter, but how many plays are left to discover?? There's nothing left of any substance to feed me. I pray to the hockey gods for the strength to endue this unholy heatwave for just another 48 hours. That's all I need.

I rest my remaining hopes in this note that someone, anybody can find me and share their rations with me, but my body believes it to be too late. I'm withering away, starved to the bone. To whomever may find this: tell my family I love them, should I not make it to Saturday. Godspeed.

Echolalia

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You poor thing. Let's look at your options.

1) Take a large sheet of graph paper. Make a rink out of it with each square=1 square inch of ice surface. Calculate what blade curve would produce the best chance of scoring for each degree off of square that the shooter is off, based on the net, when shooting. Calculate the trajectory needed to hit each zone. Repeat with non-dominant hand for reference for other-handed players. Compare stats with Eva for verification.

2) Hang out in the Hottest Wings thread. Go back to the beginning- 700+ pages ago- and look at all of the pictures (most of which have been moved or expired).

3) Trace the genealogy of all major hockey players and determine which of their common relatives would produce the best hockey player. Find them and take samples of their reproductive starter kits. Mate them in a lab. Find women willing to carry them to term and raise them as the next generation of the Greatest Team on Earth. (see above suggestion for potential volunteer list)

4) Get back in the Water Cooler and finish your freakin' great adventure.

EuroWing, stevkrause and Jasper84 like this

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You poor thing. Let's look at your options.

1) Take a large sheet of graph paper. Make a rink out of it with each square=1 square inch of ice surface. Calculate what blade curve would produce the best chance of scoring for each degree off of square that the shooter is off, based on the net, when shooting. Calculate the trajectory needed to hit each zone. Repeat with non-dominant hand for reference for other-handed players. Compare stats with Eva for verification.

2) Hang out in the Hottest Wings thread. Go back to the beginning- 700+ pages ago- and look at all of the pictures (most of which have been moved or expired).

3) Trace the genealogy of all major hockey players and determine which of their common relatives would produce the best hockey player. Find them and take samples of their reproductive starter kits. Mate them in a lab. Find women willing to carry them to term and raise them as the next generation of the Greatest Team on Earth. (see above suggestion for potential volunteer list)

4) Get back in the Water Cooler and finish your freakin' great adventure.

perfect!

:clap:

Atleast the thread topic had more of a point then this post...

I don't understand why people feel the need to even post when they're adding absolutely no substance to a thread... even if it's just a light-hearted, silly thread, such as this... if someone just wants to join a thread to be an ass, take it to another board...

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I don't understand why people feel the need to even post when they're adding absolutely no substance to a thread... even if it's just a light-hearted, silly thread, such as this... if someone just wants to join a thread to be an ass, take it to another board...

Post count +1? That's all I've got.

96warrior likes this

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So last night my wife and I are watching the wings yotes series on NHL network. For some reason I got something in my eye and it kinda looked like I was crying and she turned to me and said, "You're having red wing withdrawls aren't you?" I just went with it and said "yes dear". God damn hockey needs to start already! :)

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I was at the summer superstars charity event in Winnipeg last night. got to see darren helm and derek meech among other NHLers and AHL guys...and travis hamonic from the wheat kings. there was a skills competition between the 2nd and 3rd and helm is back to back fastest skater in the event. he beat mason raymond. only travis zajac (99mph) beat meech for the hardest shot (98mph). didn't know meech shot that hard. all in all, it was a fun night. woo hockey :thumbup:

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perfect!

:clap:

I don't understand why people feel the need to even post when they're adding absolutely no substance to a thread... even if it's just a light-hearted, silly thread, such as this... if someone just wants to join a thread to be an ass, take it to another board...

Is this directed towards me? I was basically trying to say the same thing you did but towards T.Low for acting like a prick to the to OP.

Edited by Hank Dats 'N Homer

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Echo, and everyone else in this thread, I am with you. I've felt this way since the 3rd period rang in game 5 of our series vs the Sharks, and will continue to feel it until the puck drops on our first preseason game. Even playing hockey on Saturdays cannot subdue this torment.

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Its blueadams line combo thread time.... please no negs hehe.gif

They just seem to start a nice 1,000 reply debate that is always an entertaining deal. By the way I have been twitching in my left eye since game 5 of the Sharks series, no lie lol. Need to get it checked out? Or just wait until camp to see if it subsides?

Edited by HankthaTank
Z Winged Dangler likes this

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Is this directed towards me? I was basically trying to say the same thing you did but towards T.Low for acting like a prick to the to OP.

no, no, no, no no... it was towards T. Low as well, I was agreeing with you!

Edited by stevkrause
henrik40 likes this

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You can always start a "_______ is lazy and sucks" thread.

Or start a thread about what the lines are going to be next season.

Or a thread about how good at hockey Meech is.

All of the above are terrible ideas.

Is it the end of September yet?

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I have the shakes.

Friday, August 13th, 2010

How appropriate that today of all days is when I finally crack. Its been months since I've last witnessed professional hockey, and it was a bittersweet moment when I observed an anticlimactic ending between two of my most hated opponents. It was an exciting series, but my heart had died in round two with the Wings. And that marked the beginning.

I thought my rations of beer-leagues and you-tube videos were large enough to get me through the desolate summer months, but disaster stuck. I was so foolish not to think ahead. How did I not realize that three weekend camping trips were planned all overlapping my beer-league games? I've gone close to a month without playing a game, and now its taken all my effort to keep from collecting the ice from the fridge just to feel its cool touch.

I can only wonder about my beer-league companions. We lost contact after my first expedition. I don't even know if they're alive anymore, or what condition their ration stockpile was in. I don't know if I will be alive either, come our next game this Saturday night. The youtube videos and hockey stories have all been used up. I've survived this long on drawing up elaborate hockey plays on a pile of post-it notes at my employment shelter, but how many plays are left to discover?? There's nothing left of any substance to feed me. I pray to the hockey gods for the strength to endue this unholy heatwave for just another 48 hours. That's all I need.

I rest my remaining hopes in this note that someone, anybody can find me and share their rations with me, but my body believes it to be too late. I'm withering away, starved to the bone. To whomever may find this: tell my family I love them, should I not make it to Saturday. Godspeed.

Echolalia

I suggest you write a book about it.

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You can always start a "_______ is lazy and sucks" thread.

Or start a thread about what the lines are going to be next season.

Or a thread about how good at hockey Meech is.

All of the above are terrible ideas.

Is it the end of September yet?

i'll be fine on Sept 7th when NHL 11 comes out. then i can atleast play a "pretend" season. it's nice seeing the Wings win the cup every year!

Branton87 likes this

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Just watched the best of the '08 Finals on youtube... s*** this probably some of the worst form of torture and I enjoy doing it to myself everyday... blink.gif hmm I agree that sounded a tad dirty indeed.

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I was about to lose it a couple weeks ago, until the '90s and '00s Cup clinchers and the Wings/Yotes playoffs series came on the NHL Network recently. The playoffs games just make me want the new season to start even more, though, so we can put all that behind us. I mean, I know we won that series, but those 3 losses were of the "crushing to the soul" type. And then there was the Sharks series. I don't think I'll torture myself with that one. Maybe Game 4, but I don't know, it's kind of like watching a chicken run around with its head cut off...it's keeping moving for the time being, but it's still dead as a doornail in the end. Can you tell I'm depressed here? Even Game 4 can't cheer me up. ;)

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Friday August 13th, 2010 15:00

I've been getting by with the help of a party of lost souls, similarly deprived of their will to live. They've banded together years ago to generate hockey substance and moral support to feed off of, and many have made it through difficult times in the past due to their forum. Patience is wearing thin, however. Verbal criticism is not in short order here. People are so desperate for hockey substance that members take their anger out on those who don't provide the amount of hockey-related content that they're used to during feeding season. I think they feel teased in the face of adversity and malnourishment. The locals call these folk trolls, but I don't see the resemblance. I think we're all just lost.

Others have already resorted to the most desperate of measures. Suggestions have been offered to pray to the Blueadams Deity of Line-combos for his endless advice on who should be paired with whom. Some are delusional enough into believing a "lazy and sucks" thread will satisfy our hunger, but I know the truth. One particular fellow has adopted a masochistic tendency to endlessly relive the Battle of '08, where are beloved warriors slayed the enemy to achieve ultimate victory. I don't suspect he has too much longer on this planet.

While as exhausted as ever, with every tick of the clock comes the faintest bit of hope that we'll actually pull through this. If I can make it through tonight, perhaps the anticipation of the smell of blood mixed with ice will keep me going until game time. One can only hope.

Echolalia

Edited by Echolalia
henrik40 and HankthaTank like this

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Impatiently anticipating the release of NHL 11... Getting ready to print off a Hank cover replacement even tho Toews is a little easier to stomach than Kane.

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