700 Posts for a Detroit Game Four Victory
Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:39 AM
My five-year old students are learning to read.
Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said,
"Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!"
I took a deep breath, then asked..."What did you call it?"
"It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!"
And so it does...
" A f r i c a n Elephant "
Hooked on phonics! Ain't it wonderful?
Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:53 AM
A boy, about 9, opened the door ... "Is your Dad or your Mum home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mum and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other,and mumbling to himself.
"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad.....
It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Susie pregnant".
The boy thought for a moment...
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. ...
I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the pig,.......
but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."
Posted 17 April 2012 - 08:58 AM
He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the politician, smiling smugly, "how about global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?"
"OK," she said. "those could be interesting topics, but let me ask you a question first.. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff: grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says,
"Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you don't know s***?"
She went back to reading her book.
Posted 17 April 2012 - 09:03 AM
"I'll smile in June" - Jimmy Howard
Posted 17 April 2012 - 09:21 AM
"He even ate with women who at that time were accorded the same status as the family donkey. Are we willing to break bread with, say, child sex slaves, transgender teens and undocumented workers? Because when Jesus comes back to Earth, that's where he'll be hanging."
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
Posted 17 April 2012 - 09:22 AM
Posted 17 April 2012 - 09:31 AM
From now on, Patrick Roy will be rolled out to and from the Avs' bench like Hannibal Lecter. - BottleOfSmoke
Posted 17 April 2012 - 09:39 AM
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Same ol' sh*t or new beginning?
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