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700 Posts for a Detroit Game Four Victory


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#121 MidMichSteve

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:57 AM

:lol:

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

From now on, Patrick Roy will be rolled out to and from the Avs' bench like Hannibal Lecter. - BottleOfSmoke


#122 55fan

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:57 AM

Two old Florida guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said "Do you have any Rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this **** but me."

#123 MidMichSteve

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:59 AM

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

From now on, Patrick Roy will be rolled out to and from the Avs' bench like Hannibal Lecter. - BottleOfSmoke


#124 55fan

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 10:59 AM

At the Irish wedding reception
someone yelled...

"Would all the married men,
please stand next to the one person
who has made your life worth living."

The bartender was almost
crushed to death.

#125 MidMichSteve

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 11:01 AM

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

From now on, Patrick Roy will be rolled out to and from the Avs' bench like Hannibal Lecter. - BottleOfSmoke


#126 55fan

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 11:02 AM

Well, kids... it's been real, and it's been fun, but I must go to beddiebye so I will be alert and functional for work.

Carry on.

Go Wings!

#127 MidMichSteve

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 11:03 AM

Two old Florida guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said "Do you have any Rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this **** but me."

:clap: That's great!

Bye, Karen. :thumbup:

From now on, Patrick Roy will be rolled out to and from the Avs' bench like Hannibal Lecter. - BottleOfSmoke


#128 Vladifan

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 11:14 AM

OK, another long one...

David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and had the worst vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't were to say the least, rude.

David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to try to set a good example.

Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. Finally, in a moment of exasperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking and kicking and screeching. Then suddenly, there was nothing but quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly but shakily stepped out onto David's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry if I have offended you with my language and actions and I ask for your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior".

David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude. He was so delighted with the parrot's pleasant behavior that he picked him up and sat the bird beside him while they watched television.

A few quiet moments later, the parrot said, "Would you mind if I asked you just one little question?"

"Yeah, sure", said David.

The parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"

Well, kids... it's been real, and it's been fun, but I must go to beddiebye so I will be alert and functional for work.

Carry on.

Go Wings!


Nighty-night! Sleep tight! GOOD work as usual!

"He even ate with women who at that time were accorded the same status as the family donkey. Are we willing to break bread with, say, child sex slaves, transgender teens and undocumented workers? Because when Jesus comes back to Earth, that's where he'll be hanging."
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

 
 
 


#129 craigjjs

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 11:23 AM

"You never want to see a little baby pig head staring up at you."

Go Wings





Edited by craigjjs, 16 April 2012 - 11:26 AM.

Born on a mountain in Tennessee; Greenest state in the land of the free; Raised in the woods so's he knew every tree; He killed him a bear when was only three.

#130 Vladifan

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 11:31 AM

More definitions:

ESPLANADE: (v) - to attempt an explanation while drunk.

WILLY-NILLY (adj) - impotent

"He even ate with women who at that time were accorded the same status as the family donkey. Are we willing to break bread with, say, child sex slaves, transgender teens and undocumented workers? Because when Jesus comes back to Earth, that's where he'll be hanging."
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

 
 
 


#131 Electrophile

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 11:35 AM

Winning is good. Let's try that next.

electrophilewingsfloyd.jpg

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff."  -- The Doctor


#132 Jenny

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 12:24 PM

I've found myself in the position of consoling a Penguins fan twice today. I feel strange now.

detroit-skyline.jpg

My priorities: 1-Hockey. 2-Sleep. 3-Food. 4-Everything Else.

No, Ozzie is NOT the Breakfast Wizard!" -- my husband


#133 Cloune

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 12:55 PM



1:43 - 2:43 we need

#134 Hockeytown Red Wings

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 02:05 PM

Put the puck in the net! No missing just wide or just high! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP PASSING WHEN YOU HAVE THE PUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ICE, 10 FEET FROM THE NET! Hudler, I'm looking at you.

"During Robert Lang’s time in Detroit, he caused me anguish. Other times he brought me and my family great joy. Robert Lang occasionally coasts, and spends time searching for the best pane of glass to best view the reflection of his flowing mullet. Other times he is a strong-armed force with the puck. I never knew what to expect from Robert Lang. He is The Enigma. " - A2Y

#135 Vladifan

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 02:15 PM

Lessons I've learned:

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a lot of money or huge ****.

"He even ate with women who at that time were accorded the same status as the family donkey. Are we willing to break bread with, say, child sex slaves, transgender teens and undocumented workers? Because when Jesus comes back to Earth, that's where he'll be hanging."
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

 
 
 


#136 sputman

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 02:19 PM


Posted Image

#137 Vladifan

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 02:21 PM

More lessons I've learned:

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities (i.e., star hockey players).

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more f***ed up than you think.

"He even ate with women who at that time were accorded the same status as the family donkey. Are we willing to break bread with, say, child sex slaves, transgender teens and undocumented workers? Because when Jesus comes back to Earth, that's where he'll be hanging."
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

 
 
 


#138 matt198913

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 02:25 PM

Shoot the puck!!!!
BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#139 McAwesome

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 02:26 PM

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add

7yss.jpg

 

Thanks MabusIncarnate


#140 Vladifan

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 02:27 PM

Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?

"He even ate with women who at that time were accorded the same status as the family donkey. Are we willing to break bread with, say, child sex slaves, transgender teens and undocumented workers? Because when Jesus comes back to Earth, that's where he'll be hanging."
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

 
 
 






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