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600 Posts for a Game 5 Victory


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#441 55fan

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:46 PM

I saw Dawnie kissing Santa's Elf.
Stood against his pole and held him tight.
What a laugh it would have been
If Ozzie had only seen
Dawnie kissing Santa's Elf last night!

#442 MidMichSteve

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:48 PM

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.' Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.' He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'

He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these.

Do you have anything else?'

Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
Manager 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir..'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'


Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,

Guard: 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
Manager: 'It's fake.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.


Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

Just think...

those two will be voting soon!!?!

YIKES!!!

From now on, Patrick Roy will be rolled out to and from the Avs' bench like Hannibal Lecter. - BottleOfSmoke


#443 puckloo39

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:48 PM

Posted Image


OMG... look at Val.

*was that my out-loud voice?* :blush:

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“Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention."


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#444 Jenny

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:49 PM

I saw Dawnie kissing Santa's Elf.
Stood against his pole and held him tight.
What a laugh it would have been
If Ozzie had only seen
Dawnie kissing Santa's Elf last night!


I'm quoting this just because it needs to be posted more than once. Posted Image

detroit-skyline.jpg

My priorities: 1-Hockey. 2-Sleep. 3-Food. 4-Everything Else.

No, Ozzie is NOT the Breakfast Wizard!" -- my husband


#445 55fan

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:49 PM

Posted Image

Ooh, baby! Love that one!

#446 WizardOfOz30

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:52 PM

I saw Dawnie kissing Santa's Elf.
Stood against his pole and held him tight.
What a laugh it would have been
If Ozzie had only seen
Dawnie kissing Santa's Elf last night!

That is a good one. You should post our irish jig. Or I can.

Posted Image

Thanks Offsides


"If I could sum up my career in Detroit, I was a perfect goalie for the team at the perfect time. I just wanted to be a Red Wing, that's it." Chris Osgood, July 19, 2011

#447 MidMichSteve

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:53 PM

We're almost to 450!

From now on, Patrick Roy will be rolled out to and from the Avs' bench like Hannibal Lecter. - BottleOfSmoke


#448 Jenny

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:54 PM

Weaselbritches is a sad, sniffly elf because Dawn doesn't love him.


Posted Image

detroit-skyline.jpg

My priorities: 1-Hockey. 2-Sleep. 3-Food. 4-Everything Else.

No, Ozzie is NOT the Breakfast Wizard!" -- my husband


#449 55fan

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:55 PM

That is a good one. You should post our irish jig. Or I can.

Post away, my friend.

#450 McAwesome

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:56 PM

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Thanks MabusIncarnate


#451 greene709

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:56 PM

Time for the stars to step up and win a game for the team. Haven't heard Pavel's name enough! Let's Go Wings!

#452 wingslogo19

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:56 PM

One game at a time
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#453 55fan

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:57 PM

For my Loo
Posted Image

#454 WizardOfOz30

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:58 PM

Karen is so very talented!!

If you recall Kristi's St. Patrick jibjabs, you might remember the tune. It got stuck in my head, so I wrote a few stanzas in honour (?) of you gals.

They're heading to Motown to do some Wings stalking,
To watch Hulder's scoring and Jimmy's shot blocking,
I heard their bums now sport an octo tattoo-
The super-fantastic Dawn, Kristi, and Loo.

They're wearing their shower caps in the jacuzzi
And giggling about Flipper, Helm, and Bertuzzi.
They might invite Ozzie for a drink or two-
The super-fantastic Dawn, Kristi, and Loo.

They'll party all night (or as long as they're able).
They'll drink all the hockey boys under the table.
Where they got that muskox, I haven't a clue-
The super-fantastic Dawn, Kristi, and Loo.

So Loo's got her Flipper, Dawn's running from Weasie,
And Kristi got Todd, but he wasn't too easy.
(They'd best keep their mitts off my Kronner and Drew!)
The super-fantastic Dawn, Kristi, and Loo.

The deluge of estrogen might be too scary
And Neal will need refuge with Casey and Terry,
But Jenny and Pat will add more to the brew
Along with our crazy Dawn, Kristi, and Loo.

So watch for the Wings' post-game parties they're crashing
When Kristi is certain her **** to be flashing.
They'll probably be banned for a decade or two-
The super-fantastic Dawn, Kristi, and Loo.

Posted Image

Thanks Offsides


"If I could sum up my career in Detroit, I was a perfect goalie for the team at the perfect time. I just wanted to be a Red Wing, that's it." Chris Osgood, July 19, 2011

#455 puckloo39

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:59 PM

For my Loo
Posted Image


Hi, Dommie :wub: ... I miss you!

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“Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention."


Best ever


#456 55fan

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:01 PM

Posted Image

#457 ChelisChick

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:01 PM

That's yours too? I knew you took this one:
Posted Image
You need to watermark your photos. They're good.
So... didja get any last night of you and Cheli? Or did you just let the video camera roll?

That's my picture too. I don't care who saves them. I'm not picky like that. The more Hot Wings photos, the better. And honestly, I'm too lazy to go to the trouble. Lol!
And no, there are no photos OR video of Cheli and I.





He's shy like that. :)

#458 MidMichSteve

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:01 PM

Karen is so very talented!!

If you recall Kristi's St. Patrick jibjabs, you might remember the tune. It got stuck in my head, so I wrote a few stanzas in honour (?) of you gals.

They're heading to Motown to do some Wings stalking,
To watch Hulder's scoring and Jimmy's shot blocking,
I heard their bums now sport an octo tattoo-
The super-fantastic Dawn, Kristi, and Loo.

They're wearing their shower caps in the jacuzzi
And giggling about Flipper, Helm, and Bertuzzi.
They might invite Ozzie for a drink or two-
The super-fantastic Dawn, Kristi, and Loo.

They'll party all night (or as long as they're able).
They'll drink all the hockey boys under the table.
Where they got that muskox, I haven't a clue-
The super-fantastic Dawn, Kristi, and Loo.

So Loo's got her Flipper, Dawn's running from Weasie,
And Kristi got Todd, but he wasn't too easy.
(They'd best keep their mitts off my Kronner and Drew!)
The super-fantastic Dawn, Kristi, and Loo.

The deluge of estrogen might be too scary
And Neal will need refuge with Casey and Terry,
But Jenny and Pat will add more to the brew
Along with our crazy Dawn, Kristi, and Loo.

So watch for the Wings' post-game parties they're crashing
When Kristi is certain her **** to be flashing.
They'll probably be banned for a decade or two-
The super-fantastic Dawn, Kristi, and Loo.

That's great, Karen! :clap: :clap: :clap:

Edited by MidMichSteve, 20 April 2012 - 02:03 PM.

From now on, Patrick Roy will be rolled out to and from the Avs' bench like Hannibal Lecter. - BottleOfSmoke


#459 puckloo39

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:03 PM

Posted Image

puckloo39dom.jpg

 

“Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention."


Best ever


#460 55fan

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 02:04 PM

That's great, Karen! :clap: :clap: :clap:

Thanks. That was for the weekend that Kristi and Linda went to Detroit and met up with the others mentioned in there.
I sent it via PM to them. They liked it. Glad you did too.





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