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Red Wings "Fake" Criminal Charges


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#1 FlashyG

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:46 PM

I'm looking for a little help here.

 

I'm doing some artwork for an upcoming GDT with the Wings Roster featured in Mugshots like this one.

 

s65a86.jpg

 

I need to come up with charges for each player on the roster, or at the very least the ones who aren't injured.

 

I figured you guys would have some good ones, they can be positive or negative a good mix of both would be best. Preferably funny if possible.

 

If anyone can come up with some good ones or one better than I already have I'll add it to the list.

 

Abdelkader - Failure to appear

Andersson - 

Bertuzzi - 

Brunner - Assualting Twine

Cleary - Impersonating a top 6 forward

Colaiaicovo - Breaking and Exiting - Easily my favorite of all

Datsyuk - Grand Larceny - Pickpocketing - Grand Theft Puck

Eaves - 

Emmerton - Grand Theft Roster Spot

Ericsson -

Filpulla - 

Franzen - Loitering

Gustavsson -

Helm - Speeding

Howard -

Huskins -

Kindl -

Kronwall - Resisting Defence

Lashoff -

Quincey - +/- Fraud

Samuelsson - Contract Larceny or Logo hunting

Smith -

Tatar - Impersonating a rookie

Tootoo - Assault and Battery

White - Failure to appear

Zetterberg - Assualt with a Deadly Beard


Edited by FlashyG, 01 March 2013 - 01:19 PM.


#2 Jesusberg

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:50 PM

I'm not sure about the others, but with a +11 and one point, I'd have Quincey down for Fraud.



#3 ogreslayer

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:51 PM

Franzen's has to be loitering.



#4 Richdg

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:54 PM

I'm looking for a little help here.

 

I'm doing some artwork for an upcoming GDT with the Wings Roster featured in Mugshots like this one.

 

s65a86.jpg

 

I need to come up with charges for each player on the roster, or at the very least the ones who aren't injured.

 

I figured you guys would have some good ones, they can be positive or negative a good mix of both would be best. Preferably funny if possible.

 

If anyone can come up with some good ones or one better than I already have I'll add it to the list.

 

Abdelkader - Failure to appear

Andersson - 

Bertuzzi - 

Brunner - Assualting Twine

Cleary -

Colaiaicovo - 

Datsyuk - Excessive Pickpocketing

Eaves -

Emmerton -

Ericsson -

Filpulla -

Franzen -

Gustavsson -

Helm -

Howard -

Huskins -

Kindl -

Kronwall - Resisting Defence

Lashoff -

Quincey -

Samuelsson - 

Smith -

Tatar -

Tootoo - 

White -

Zetterberg -

Hmmm...... Lets see.....

Brunner: Case of the Detroit Sniper

Franzen: Impersonating a Power Forward

Colavaico: medical fraud

TooToo: general thuggery

Sammy: grifter (someone who cons other out of their money)

Holland: griftee (someone getting con'd out of money)



#5 Z Winged Dangler

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:56 PM

Tuzzi for aggrevated assault  :lol: .  Sorry, couldn't help myself.  Love Tuzzi though.  

 

Flip for pistol whipping, but never taking the shot.

 

Helm for speeding.


"I play hockey, but I am not very good.  Can someone please tell me what it would take to sign with the Wings ? I can use a million or two."  ~ arag

 

Dan Cleary is an Xbox 360.  While good for a while, it's time for the new generation to take over.


#6 GMRwings1983

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 09:59 PM

Cleary - public intoxication.......................can never stand upright without falling. 


According to my profile, my reputation is excellent. LOL.

#7 Z Winged Dangler

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:01 PM

Sammy is the Shinpad Assassin, and his many victims will now see justice.



Cleary - public intoxication.......................can never stand upright without falling. 

 

:lol:  I was trying to think of something for Cleary.  I like!


"I play hockey, but I am not very good.  Can someone please tell me what it would take to sign with the Wings ? I can use a million or two."  ~ arag

 

Dan Cleary is an Xbox 360.  While good for a while, it's time for the new generation to take over.


#8 Richdg

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:14 PM

Sammy: Random shooting of pucks in public



#9 FlashyG

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:14 PM

For Cleary I was thinking. "Impersonating a Top 6 forward"



#10 Jesusberg

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:17 PM

I REALLY wish Homer was around... "Disturbing the Crease"

Alternative ones for other guys...

Bertuzzi - Child Abandonment (was supposed to be on a line with Helm)
Cleary - Bribery (how else does he get a top six spot?)
White - "White Collar Crimes"... ha, get it?

Ok, I'm done after that last one...



#11 GMRwings1983

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:25 PM

Hossa  -  Treason


According to my profile, my reputation is excellent. LOL.

#12 Konnan511

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:40 PM

Sammy - Illegal Logo Hunting
The Best Of BC
HankthaTank
- Squirrels, they hate to be thrown. / Why is the magical unicorn named Brian... Jedi - I just downloaded the "kids" book, "Go the F--k to Sleep" as narrated by Samuel L. Jackson on my kindle. I am now ready to be a daddy. / *Checks Router* No, I'm positive I didn't hit the "Wings Defense Sucks" button. Electrophile - I'm just glad the Wings were able to win despite the Curse of Brian. ACallToArms - I think Trey needs to put something about payroll tax and deferred income in his sig... Edicius - I'd rather [have] a soundbite of me saying "I like (man sausage)" rather than "I like Crosby".

#13 Sabaton617

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:46 PM

Samuelsson- Stalking, he just won't stay away



#14 irishock

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 10:50 PM

Brunner- Arson


bringit.jpg


#15 The Greek

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 11:15 PM

Exceeding expectations: Tootoo and Lashoff

Edited by The Greek, 01 March 2013 - 01:29 AM.


#16 dirtydangles

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 11:17 PM

Sammy - illegal hunting of shin pads



miller - playing under the influence (Miller Lite) or playing with open alcohol 


Is there a kickstarter campaign for Jakub Kindl to never play another NHL game?


#17 Hiei

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 11:25 PM



miller - playing under the influence (Miller Lite) or playing with open alcohol 

 

Murph - Announcing under the influence of Alcohol, $1 hot dog night, and/or curly fries.

Tatar - Impersonating a rookie

Tootoo - Assault & Battery

White - Conspiracy to commit fraud (with Quincey)

Zetterberg - Leading a racket


"Hit em with your purse, ya *****!" - Random Wings fans shouting at Franziska


#18 MCleveland89

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 11:51 PM

Lidstrom-Failing to Appear (Retired)

Emmerton-Using Another's Personal Numbers



#19 dirtydangles

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Posted 28 February 2013 - 11:56 PM

dan cleary - impeding traffic 


Is there a kickstarter campaign for Jakub Kindl to never play another NHL game?


#20 wingsfan4795

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Posted 01 March 2013 - 12:47 AM

Lashoff: impersonating brad stuart

Howard: grand larceny

Gustavsson: accessory to jimmy Howard's crimes

Bertuzzi: contempt of court (because he complains about every penalty he takes)

Good rule of thumb is always take an octopus everywhere. Better to have one and not need it than find yourself thinking, "Damn, I wish I had that octopus".

 

-Buppy





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