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2013 Detroit Red Wings Eulogy

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#1 Echolalia



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Posted 02 June 2013 - 12:14 PM



Every post season Puck Daddy posts eulogies of playoff teams which are eliminated, written by fans of rival teams.  Sometimes they're really lame, sometimes they're amazing.  This year's Detroit Red Wings eulogy is amazing.  At least I think so.

#2 wingsfan4795


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Posted 02 June 2013 - 01:36 PM

Parts of it were ok, but his writing is all over the place and hard to understand.
I liked the "how many cups have you won" thing

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#3 GMRwings1983


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Posted 02 June 2013 - 01:39 PM

Parts of it were ok, but his writing is all over the place and hard to understand.
I liked the "how many cups have you won" thing


I'll admit, I've used that line before.


Then again, I don't want us to become like Montreal fans, who can use that until eternity, but haven't won squat in a long time.  

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#4 Echolalia



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Posted 02 June 2013 - 01:48 PM

PS all the Jasons need to identify themselves in this thread.


I'm a Calvin.

#5 HockeytownUW


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Posted 02 June 2013 - 02:37 PM

PS all the Jasons need to identify themselves in this thread.


I'm a Calvin.


I'm a "Dan," but I do currently find myself in the aesthetically pleasing locale of Poland.  It may not be Atlanta or Nashville, but that's neither here nor there.

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#6 Jedi


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Posted 02 June 2013 - 02:39 PM

Started out great, but became tremendously unfunny by about the 38th time he used the "how many Cups" line.

Probably used it so much because he's a bit insecure about the precisely zero Cups his hometown team has (despite what they want you to believe at Bridgestone Arena), or the fact that Detroit alone has more than all the "Conference III" teams combined.

But I'm sure he'd just lump me in with everyone he thinks he's talking about, so what's the point?

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#7 Ally


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Posted 02 June 2013 - 04:13 PM

Not as funny as some of the other eulogys that have been posted. I did get a little laugh about it and I'm definitely guilty of the "how many cups have you won?" Line but that's largely due to being surrounded by Canucks fans.
I give the article a solid "meh"

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#8 BottleOfSmoke


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Posted 02 June 2013 - 05:40 PM

I'm not really a fan of these. Although I freely admit to still being extremely butt hurt and overly sensitive, so your mileage may vary lol. Normally I love a good roast but I'm not past the "curl up in a ball phase" that is the beginning of the postseason for me. What can I say, this one is still stinging uuuuuggggggghhhhhhh wwwwhhhhhhyyyyyyyy?!?!?!?!??



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#9 55fan


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Posted 02 June 2013 - 06:56 PM

Definitely better than last year's.  That one pretty much sucked.


I like these things if they're well done.  I can't wait to read Chicago's.

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#10 Hank Dats 'N Homer

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 07:04 PM

I know these things are suppose to be all in good fun and get a laugh. But i find it hard to believe im the only one that had a hard time getting through the whole thing because of boredom. The guy sat there and really beat the whole"how many cups have you won" thing to death to mock Wings fans, but then started talking about the same old "the wings are old" insult. Which to me is really lame considering we dont have nearly as many old players anymore and saw a huge youth movement the last 2 seasons. When are fans of other teams going to realize that insult doesnt apply anymore? And the whole "Wings fans travel to our arenas to watch games when they are on the road" thing really didnt make a ton of sense to me. I dont think fans from Detroit are traveling to other arenas. Do you think the more simpler answer of the fact that there are Wings fans all across the country makes more sense? Like i said, i know it was suppose to be a humorous thing and not meant to be taken to heart or anything, but i didnt really think it was well calculated, clever or even funny. But maybe I'm in the minority here. 

#11 thegerkin


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Posted 02 June 2013 - 07:56 PM

Lame attempt at a "funny" eulogy. Ripping on Hockeytown? This from the team that dresses like the yellow Voltron character? Ripping on Miller's hair, really? Beating the "how many cups" phrase into the ground. Possibly one of the worst "eulogies" I've had the displeasure of reading. See you in the funny papers Nashville.

#12 kipwinger



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Posted 02 June 2013 - 08:17 PM

I liked this one a lot.  Most of it is spot on.  If I had a nickel for every "How many cups", "Cleary and Abby in the top six", or "Bettman wants us to lose" comment I've read (on this forum alone) I'd be a rich man.  What's the difference between us saying it to or about each other and someone else doing it?  Good satire is funny because there's an element of truth to it.  We do have a comparatively s***ty top six.  Many Wings fans are bangwagoners from the glory days of the nineties, and we do go on and on about conspiracies.  But in the end those are all relatively transient and therefore insignificant aspects of an otherwise storied franchise.


Who cares, just laugh it off.  A far more damning criticism of the Detroit Red Wings would be if their fans became humorless d*cks just because they didn't win the Cup ever year.  Then we'd truly be the Yankees of hockey. 

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#13 Rhah


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Posted 02 June 2013 - 09:43 PM

I liked this line though:

He actually did neither, of course, so he was forced to settle for Option 2395 — inking Carlo Colaiacovo and praying that Cola wouldn't shatter his wrist while signing his contract.

#14 saven



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Posted 02 June 2013 - 10:36 PM

It was a hack writing job that lacks consistant tone. He attacks the city not pointing out how crappy the other places in con III are. He assumes we still pay big $ for free agents a thing we have not done since the first lockout. He tries to say our minors system doesn't produce when I'm sure we have as many if not more of our draft picks ( granted they aren't top 10 overalls like some teams- looking at you Chicago ) playing on our team then other con 3 teams. When you write a tongue in cheek peice it helps to have your tongue in your cheek not just be bitter that our team has and always will be better.
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#15 NorwegianWing


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Posted 03 June 2013 - 03:04 AM

Found that to be quite funny having spent some time on this board.. Let's laugh at ourselves a bit, and move on to remember just how many cups it is we've won. 

#16 HeavyMetalCareBear



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Posted 03 June 2013 - 07:25 AM

I knoDo you think the more simpler answer of the fact that there are Wings fans all across the country makes more sense? 



 I go to WWE shows every year in Toronto (no shame) and last year, in the section I was in, there were 4 Red Wings fans, including myself, in that area alone. 


It's stupid for people think the only fans that exist are the ones in the area. Fans are all over the place. Plus, these Canadians (Torontonians, in this case) have to cheer for the goddamn LEAFS....can't blame the people who chose a better life and became Red Wings fans.



Anyway, got a few paragraphs in, yawned, closed the tab.

Edited by HeavyMetalCareBear, 03 June 2013 - 07:26 AM.

#17 VM1138



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Posted 03 June 2013 - 07:58 AM

I'm a good sport, but that's not one of the funnier ones. 


Although, he's right about his criticisms, we complain relentlessly about 10pm start times (although I think it is legitimate to do so), constantly throw "How many Cups have you won?" into any argument, and overstate our importance financially to other teams in the West, etc., etc.


But it's just a testament to how amazing this franchise is that in this article, it never attacks the hockey team.  It's all about the city, people being old, etc., etc.  The Wings are just that good.  Go read the Toronto Maple Leafs one to see what I mean.


The one thing I learned during the Chicago series is something I don't get: other fans think the Wings are coddled by the refs, and think everyone on the Wings are cheap-shot artists.  I try not to be a homer, but I don't remember anyone (except Bertuzzi) ever doing anything really cheap.  We don't even dive (except in sellable situations by the net, unlike teams who pretend to be shot when someone skates by them open ice).  


I just don't get the accusations that Detroit is somehow a team that does nothing but commit interference and spear people's faces.

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#18 toby91_ca



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Posted 03 June 2013 - 08:53 AM

It's not just you, but for me, it may just be that the length of the article extended way past my mental capacity to stay interested.  I like to read things are a lot more concise.....get to the point, now let me move on to the next topic.

I know these things are suppose to be all in good fun and get a laugh. But i find it hard to believe im the only one that had a hard time getting through the whole thing because of boredom.

#19 Hiei


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Posted 04 June 2013 - 01:01 AM

TL;DR.  I seriously headbobbed as I was entering the HOW MANY CUPS DO YOU HAVE crap.  

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#20 wingslogo19



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Posted 04 June 2013 - 09:48 AM

That picture of Babcock is priceless

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