Playerstribune: Patrick O'Sullivan Black & Blue

[frankgrimes 1,836]

Disclaimer: reading this article will make your blood boil over

http://www.theplayerstribune.com/patrick-osullivan-nhl-abuse/

By the time I was 10, it got worse. He would put cigarettes out on me. Choke me. Throw full soda cans at my head. Every time I stepped on the ice, I knew that my play would determine just how bad I got it when we got home. I’d score a hat trick, and afterward we’d get in the car and he would tell me that I played “like a ******” (that was his favorite term, which says a lot).

I thought it was normal. As a kid, you just don’t know any better. He would wake me up at 5 a.m. and force me to work out for two hours before school. I remember I had this heavy leather jump rope, and if he thought I wasn’t working hard enough, he would force me to take my shirt off and he’d whip me with it. If the jump rope wasn’t around, he would use an electrical cord.

The first question is easy to answer. My father was a low-level pro hockey player who never made it past the minor leagues. He was living his failed dream through his child. As twisted and insane as it sounds, in his mind, everything he was doing was justified. It was all going to make me a better hockey player — and eventually get me to the NHL.

The second question is a lot more complicated. Why didn’t anybody step in and stop the abuse? My story will never reach people like my father. They’re so far off the deep end that it’s too late. But plenty of people witnessed what was happening. Every town has the Crazy Hockey Dad, but my father was so far above and beyond that cliche. I’d come into the locker room with bruises and cuts, and he’d spend the entire game screaming and banging on the glass. He got into brawls with parents from the other team right in the stands, many, many times.

But all I ever got from the other hockey parents was a concerned, “Are you ok?”

And, of course, I’d say, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

That would be the end of it. Nobody called the cops. Nobody ever confronted him. The overall mentality back then, especially in the hockey community, was “whatever happens in their house, stays in their house. That’s their own business.”

“That’s it, you’re done with hockey. You don’t deserve this. We’re going home.”

I got in the car and he started driving home. And then something in me just snapped. We stopped to pick up my sisters at our grandparents’ house, and I jumped out and said, “This is all stopping right now. I’m not going home.”

We got into a fight. Our first real fight, where I fought back, and didn’t stop. My mom and grandparents watched from the window as we brawled right in the driveway. It went on for minutes, which is an eternity in a fight. I can’t even remember how it finally stopped. I just remember him jumping in the car and driving off. I ran into the house and called the police.

When the cops showed up, they put out an APB for him, but I just shook my head and showed them his photo. “Just come to my next hockey game,” I said. “He’ll be there. He can’t stay away.”

Tough to read and sadly he didn't kill his father in the fight because that's what that piece of trash deserved from day one. Abusing your kid because you think it will make him better? What a ******* psycho, also the other parents and his mother should be ashamed for not standing up to this animal. As a dad you gotta say something and then call the cops. Hopefully his so called father is going to rot in a small jail forever unbelievable.

This whole story to me isn't about hockey-dads it's about hockey-psychos. Huge kudos to O'Sullivan for writing this.

[matt198913 932]

Growing up in Detroit MI under a father that played semi pro hockey, I felt a ton of pressure to be as good as he was. Short story I wasn't. I played throughout high school and never made it on any club team like little ceasars. I still play in leagues throughout Southeastern MI. However my father never pressured me to even play the game. This story makes me incredibly sad because there are parents out there who want their child to be the best, and nothing else is good enough. All we can do is learn the lessons taught to us and try to be better parents than this.

[toby91_ca 620]

I must say that I've thought about not wanting to pressure my son into hockey. I have a son and daughter and they participate in almost everything, swimming, soccer, etc., etc. I didn't care about many of those (I also played several sports growing up, but quite them all - organized leagues anyway - when they started to conflict with hockey). I've played hockey all my life and still do, so I really wanted my son to play as well....but conscious of not wanting to be one of those parents. Luckily, he absolutely loves hockey, his favorite activity, he's 6 and in his 3rd year.

On the Patrick O'Sullivan story, he's written a book about this. He was a guest on The Fan 590 (Toronto radio) talking a bit about this. He did mention that the book isn't entirely accurate as he tamed down the abuse a bit as reality would have been too much for readers. Apparently he has no relationship with his mother now, he didn't get into details, but I'm guessing it's because she didn't do anything about trying to stop it.

[zetterisbetter 4]

I went to school with Patrick for about 5 or 6 years in elementary and junior high. I would consider myself one of his closer school friends during that time and I had no idea this was going on. Mind you I was only 9-13 at the time and didn't know any better. I had been to his house but im not sure I ever even met his dad. We would always hang outside and play street hockey while he would stay in the house until it was time for pat to come in. Hre would just yell from the driveway that he needed to come in which was the extent of my experience with him. Its heart breaking to find all this out years later. I knew his dad was tough on him but I can't imagine keeping something like this from everyone

[HadThomasVokounOnFortSt 878]

Wow what an awesome read!

[GMRwings1983 8,794]

I'm hoping there's a certain spot in hell reserved for men who beat women, and children.

[HadThomasVokounOnFortSt 878]

My grandpa would always tell me a story about his best friend who's kid was in hockey (can't remember the exact age). Anyways he was always telling me that his friend would push his son hard and my grandpa would always tell him you're pushing him to hard. He's just a kid. Well one night the kid couldn't take it anymore and had killed himself.

I don't play competitive anymore but I was so grateful that all the way up to high school. I had my dad right behind the bench coaching us.