You should feel fortunate that you're so incredibly naive to the horrors of domestic violence. So women can defend themselves, but you're saying the league is trying to punish "their man"? Because, you know, they need his money and that lifestyle he provides. Nothing like contradicting yourself.
Yeah, poor Ray Rice, his life was ruined. You do realize that TMZ probably saved Janay's life, right? At the very least, they prevented a life of abuse for her and probably their daughter. They guy spit in her face and knocked her out and stepped over her like she was a piece of trash. Then he dragged her out of the elevator like she had inconvenienced him. You're upset he was cut? I don't even know what to say. Let me guess, she was probably asking for it, eh?
Did you even read what I wrote?
I am certainly not naive about domestic violence. I am saying that the issues that go along with it are hard enough without the extras added by the media and the general public rushing in, as well as the financial part of it.
Simply having been a victim is hard enough. There is physical and mental healing. There are tough questions about what is best for the family (if there are children involved) and what is best for you.
In the Rice case, she stayed with him. She married him. They have also gone through counseling and he has stopped drinking, which they believe was what caused him to lose it on her. That is her decision and as long as it is working for them, then more power to her. I'm far less concerned about him than about her.
I've known couples that have managed to reconcile after time apart to go through their issues, usually involving alcohol or drugs, but not always. They've gone on to live happy and safe lives.
In most cases, the ending wasn't so idyllic. That is up to the people involved. If they are willing to work on it, let them do so in peace.
These are not easy changes, whether you go and start a new life or whether you stay and work on making it a positive environment. Adding the media attention only makes it that much harder.
That's what I'm trying to say here. I'm not defending the perpetrator; I'm hoping that the victim gets the privacy she deserves.
I've known a lot of people (not just women, but mostly women) who have been in abusive relationships and it was very hard on them to leave, but they did it. I've allowed some in my home when they had no place to stay. I've been the bactine-and-bandaid girl for those who chose to stay.
I've also had a couple of friends who were falsely accused by vindictive exes. It was hard for them as well. Even after they were exonerated, people still believed the worst.
I realize that it is a small percent, but that is why we have the legal system. Charges are brought and either proven or dis-proven. Then judgment is carried out. The judicial system is not perfect by any means, but barring clairvoyance on the part of the jury, it's about as good as it can get.
I'm not saying that abusers shouldn't be punished. They should. I just think that all of the media attention punishes the victim needlessly.