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Member Since 22 May 2007
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#2072062 TSN Poll - Best Player In NHL Right Now

Posted by 55fan on 02 December 2010 - 09:42 PM

Behave or Matt Shorts will ban you all.

Maybe Lids should win a Cup. It worked for Nik Kronvall. I haven't seen his name with a "v" since then.

#2071945 TSN Poll - Best Player In NHL Right Now

Posted by 55fan on 02 December 2010 - 04:56 PM

Perhaps we should call up Darren McCarthy instead. He's connected to Versus.

Chris Draper probably isn't doing anything. Let's get the whole Grind Line on the case.

All joking aside, I think it's great that a guy his age is still in the running for best. We all get concerned about what will happen when his age catches up to him- and rightfully so- but it just doesn't seem to happen. I guess if it has to happen sooner or later, later is better.

#2071928 TSN Poll - Best Player In NHL Right Now

Posted by 55fan on 02 December 2010 - 04:05 PM

Nick has the C for Captain.

Someone in the Wings office should send them a memo. I'll see if Kurt Maltby is busy.

#2071788 The Hottest Red Wing

Posted by 55fan on 02 December 2010 - 08:23 AM

I feel sorry for the young gals nowdays who never got to drool over Jagr.

Seck. Say.

#2070895 Little things that bother you..

Posted by 55fan on 30 November 2010 - 04:39 PM

Raffi getting butt-hugged whilst in uniform.

#2070699 Little things that bother you..

Posted by 55fan on 30 November 2010 - 08:53 AM

I'm Canadian, so nothing bothers me. :cool:

Nahh, j/k. I'm a pretty easy-going, laid-back kind of person.
One thing though: I am very illiterate, especially when it comes to spelling/punctuation, so I hope that someone is aware of this and brings it to my attention. In fact, the first to edit my post gets a plus rating +. It could be you, *Electrophile*. It could be you, *55fan*. :clap: :clap:

Just rather small tidbits bother me though:

1. Healthy people that CAN and have the ability to work, but refuse to, so they go on welfare/disability.

2. It's been mentioned before, but people who take way too long to order something at fast food places (in my case, it's Subway or Tim Horton's) (( I'm having one right now too :cool: ))

3. People who don't shut up before a movie starts at the theatre. I mean, theatres were meant to WATCH movies, not TALK. <_<

4. People who cut in line at the grocery store. I mean, I feel like I'm back in elementary school at the lunch line. Seriouslyyyy.

5. People that don't cover their nose/mouth when they cough/sneeze.

6. When I forget to buy two bottles of maple syrup at the grocery store, I pay for it in the end, and my pancakes are lonely with no maple syrup :(

Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber
.....................................................Did I mention Justin Bieber? <_<

There we go! I made grammatical errors for someone to correct. Hurry, hurry, hurry! That positive rating is waiting for a proud owner :) :)

Plus me.

Pat, I hear you on the tv thing. That's why Mitch and I never spend an entire night together. He can't sleep with it off and even has been known to channel surf in his sleep.

My mind tries to make sense of it, but I always end up trying to understand something like "In the spring, the cow gives birth to Visanthe Shaincoe in the end zone. The Vikings talked to my doctor about my erectile dysfunction, which could save you hundreds on car insurance in the Middle East."

#2069528 Pronger falls victim to "Avery Rule"

Posted by 55fan on 27 November 2010 - 03:35 PM

Except the rule called on the ice was referenced to a rule that states a player must be facing the goalie, in which Pronger was not.

Perhaps they should have called Toronto to determine which direction he was facing. Pronger is so tall that it is hard to remember what height his face and rump should be from the ice, and practically impossible to distinguish between them.

#2069131 11/26 GDT: Red Wings 2 at Blue Jackets 1

Posted by 55fan on 26 November 2010 - 08:52 PM

Whoa, Columbus has a BJ zone? They're pretty damn permissive in Ohio!

It sucks.

#2069078 11/26 GDT: Red Wings 2 at Blue Jackets 1

Posted by 55fan on 26 November 2010 - 08:30 PM

Would someone please describe Mule's goal? Sorry but I'm unable to watch the game.


There is a puck, and Franzen got it, and he hit it with his stick, and it went past the other goalie into the net.

Your welcome. Do you need a stream?
I'm watching at this place. It's not bad. Cheers.

#2068871 Pronger falls victim to "Avery Rule"

Posted by 55fan on 26 November 2010 - 04:58 PM

Just goes to show you that only Homer can be Homer.

Puck Fronger.

#2068700 Story Time

Posted by 55fan on 26 November 2010 - 04:25 AM


Time for a recap, eh?

Once upon a time, Homer Simpson spanked your girlfriend's cat with a hockey puck. It broke the cat's tail although it was made of grease from Detroit Red Wings players kicked. Makes no sense because it didn't sound like a fart. It echoed loudly across the rink and hit Bettman in his balls. Then the wings annihilated the pink wussies and the hawks from Chicago. Meanwhile, Spongebob killed Patrick because he thought Sandy was pissed off at Mr. Krabs for breaking his testicles. The Flanders said HOMER! pray for my sweaty armpits. They decided that Bush was a terrorist because blood was flowing out from Squidward's nostrils. Apu found candy canes shoved deeply down Pamela Anderson's cleavage. Pamela Anderson had Mozart's cravings for alcohol. Jay Leno lifted up Pamela's latex outfit up so he could salivate at her candycanes. Then fire erupted from her fabulous sphincter torching Stoney's big hairy eyebrows. Then we are talking garbunkle with simon. Jack said wassup people? Peter picked pie eyed Susan who baked cookies in the Netherlands while drinking beer from the bar. She decided marriage was not ever going to do drugs, so when she died nobody gave a rats ass. After that, Peter Griffin ate sushi and barfed uncontroably jumping on Bugs Bunny's whiskers and tickeled his zippidy-doo-dah. Bugs was pissed and shot peter in the ass and caused a prolapsed anus. Bugs called your Orthodontist for killing his ***** because she chewed furry cheese puffs while doing Yoga. Meanwhile, Spiderman loaned sugar sprinkles to Batgirl for her knockers.
"Those enforcers will tear Batgirl's codpiece, causing rabid fantasies about Hossa's pencil sharpener exploding into magical shards", shouted Babs. Indubitably, wax paper tastes a lot similar to a prolapsed anus. Magic Johnson showed clairvoyance bending hockey sticks toward the head of Bettman shaped like potatoes. Instinctively, Homer blocked the potato masher smashing pumpkins flat.

Pronger smells like hot ass and Cheetos when baking yakburgers. Clod LePew made greasy stains on Pronger's epidermis, which glowed and sparkled brilliantly. Meanwhile, rabbits with leprosy scratch Turtle's testicles causing (the) oozing puss to coagulate and form crusty underwear clinging to his dangling chin.

Revolted, disgusted, and perplexed, Batgirl annihilated Turtle's mucus membrane with cereal, which tasted like roast kangaroo.

Round 1 was the Blue Jackets smelling Osgood's gassy fuel line of a 1985 Zamboni. My obstacle doesn't involve anything resembling a high jump. Whenever tornadoes cry about sunny afternoons, llamas yell obscenities at tourists, while spitting at organic pinecones. Botanists agree, acorns are understandably harder than pinecones.

Kronwall nailed Dawn approximately 2/3 of what LetsGoWings posters approved for but never hurt her melons. That damned Kronwall knows turnovers better than Grandma knows my hidden corset agenda. Next time Kronwall better stick John Keating's microphone into the oversized entrance of Holmstrom's locker buddy's Gopher.

If Jenny G(ranholm) knew how Kronwall had cooked beans with Lilja she would have sauteed horseradish in sauerkraut. Gagging on molasses Karen discovered that Bertuzzi had spiked his lemonade with vodka. (Sponges can hold gravel only when they are saturated) Usually Kronwall likes meatballs up in Traverse City but the weather wasn't conducive to meatball masterpieces.
Chunt shouldn't (or maybe "shoont") eat Lilja's sausage stroganoff because he'll snort from his flared nostrils. Legalized marijuana rocks. Zamboni driver telethons while raising octopi for charity, causing relief to Twister players in heat. Chocolate bunnies taste smelly after soaking in dimethyl-ether. Blueberry pie smells wonderful while eating with in-laws on Thursdays. The car rolled down the volcano and farted.

Apartments divided into separate units are considered adequate housing. Dandylions sprout uncontrolled dimples that gratify Colin Campbell's poor excuse for biased hog-calling. Cactii are bold, painful stickers smelling rancid.

Datsyuk loves Homer's butt because aromas cause interference, pissing goaltenders off so bad they weep while finishing trying ballroom dancing. Iginla's nosehairs replicate extended hair weaves that trap bogeys. Toenail clippers should always be sterilized because Hudler chews his turkey with his mouth open.

#2068112 11/24 GDT: Red Wings 1 at Thrashers 5

Posted by 55fan on 24 November 2010 - 08:08 PM

zero help for Howard there. Wonder if the Wings are already dreaming of turkey and stuffing here... seems so.

Mmmmm.. turkey and stuffing.

I hope those turkeys will start stuffing the puck in the net before they head home to their turkeys and stuffings.

#2065180 11/19 GDT: Wild 4 at Red Wings 3 (OT)

Posted by 55fan on 19 November 2010 - 07:01 AM

GRRRR! I was all excited for this game because the Wild are on FSNorth, which I actually get, and the game was on a day when I'm home to watch it. But, NO, they are televising freaking DULUTH college hockey instead. What really sucks is that when they do that, the Centre Ice blackout is still in effect, so my mom and sister who pay money to watch the games won't get it on tv either. That is just wrong. If the Fux Sports people don't televise it, the blackout should be lifted.

Wings 9- Everyone in the top 3 lines with one apiece
Wild 1- Cullen (Local boy, gotta pull for him a bit.)

#2064014 Wings sporting an ad-badged jersey

Posted by 55fan on 17 November 2010 - 10:01 AM

My old roomie was in it. I went to a meeting once. Cult-like and scary.

Can't we get something classy and respectable? Viagra, maybe? Or Preparation H?

#2063456 Quicken Loans and Fathead New Sponsors

Posted by 55fan on 15 November 2010 - 05:31 PM

What's wrong with Sam Bernstein?

He's a lawyer. That puts him in the same category as Bettman, GMR, and Abe Lincoln.

Draw your own conclusions. I just confused myself.