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55fan

Member Since 22 May 2007
Offline Last Active Today, 06:18 AM
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#2650522 Amusing stories you have heard or lived.

Posted by 55fan on 29 January 2016 - 08:45 PM

My friend's son started college this fall.  I was his Sunday school teacher in 4th and 5th grades, so we know each other pretty well.  He is one of the most hilarious people I've ever met.  I can talk to him for hours and laugh the whole time.

 

When he left for school, I told him that if he ever needed anything to feel free to call or text or facebook.  We'd gotten together to talk on facebook a lot before he started to meet people there.  Mostly we just joked around, but some of it was serious.  He's rather shy, especially around girls, so we talked about how to meet girls a lot too.

 

He knows I have a keen interest in all things medical, so he asked me (on facebook) one Saturday about a medical question.  His stools were black.  I ran through the checklist of things it could be.  Nothing.  I told him to keep me posted.  On Sunday they'd turned green.  I asked him a lot of questions about what he'd eaten etc.  I was pretty sure at this point that it was just something he ate, but I made sure he knew where his insurance card was (he didn't know) and where the hospital was (he didn't know) and I made him promise that he would go in if he experienced any of a long list of symptoms I gave him.

 

Monday was Labor Day, so I figured he'd be sleeping in.  I texted him around noon to see how he was doing.  We had rarely texted before, but I was at work, and I don't have a smartphone (I know, right?) so I kept it short and sweet:  "Have you pooped today and what colour was it?"

 

I didn't get a response.  I waited and about an hour later he texted back.  He was driving a girl(!) to the store and being a responsible adult, he chose not to text and drive.  Instead, he had her read the message to him. 

 

He thanked me for that.




#2650466 Amusing stories you have heard or lived.

Posted by 55fan on 29 January 2016 - 10:55 AM

Another graveyard shift story-

 

This was many, many years ago.  A guy came in wearing a baseball cap, glasses, sandals, one of those half t-shirts, and a g-string.  He was followed by another guy who was giggling and carrying a video camera.  This was back in the days before smart phones and (fortunately) the internet as we know it.

 

Videotaping was not allowed in the store, but since there was no way of it getting out for the world to see, I didn't stop him and just went along to see how it all played out.

 

The guy in the g-string strutted (like he had anything worth strutting) back to the pop section of the cooler.  I kept a straight face.  It just about killed me, but I managed to look bored.

 

He brought his pop to the counter and gave me a $10.  I gave him his change.  He held the coins in his hand but put the bills in the g-string, saying, "I like to keep my bills in here."

 

You know how you always think of something funny to say when it's too late?  Yeah.  I'd been keeping the perfect straight face, but the perfect comeback was out of my mouth before I could stop it.

 

As soon as he tucked the bills in the g-string, I said, "Good thing they're small bills."

 

His friend was doubled over laughing, unable to tape.  The guy turned beet red and I had to crack a smile.

 

Wanting to let him off the hook, I said, "Is this for a bet or dare or something?"

 

He chuckled and went back to the same strutting-type personality he had before and said, "Why no.  Why do you ask?"

 

They left laughing.  I smiled and had fits of giggles for the rest of the night.




#2650464 Amusing stories you have heard or lived.

Posted by 55fan on 29 January 2016 - 10:47 AM

I work in a gas station.  That's all the intro this needs.

 

One night I was working graveyards and a guy came in and announced to the entire place that his ass was chafing.

 

He was wearing those long silky basketball shorts and had tucked them into his butt crack.  He asked if I would recommend vasoline or baby powder.  I knew we carried vasoline so I recommended it.

 

He bought some, opened it up, stuck his fingers in the jar and proceeded to stick his hand down the back of his shorts RIGHT THERE AT THE COUNTER!
 

Then he announced that he was going to have to shave his ass because his butt hairs made the vasoline clumpy.




#2650105 1/25 GDT - Red Wings 4 at Islanders 2

Posted by 55fan on 25 January 2016 - 08:51 PM

I think I like playing in this new venue.  We're not losing like we did at the old one.




#2648313 And your NHL All-Star Division Captains are....

Posted by 55fan on 16 January 2016 - 08:17 PM

I hope Montreal never wins another Cup again.

 

The whole thing was stupid from start to finish, but trading a guy who was put in a bad situation and made the best of it despite the problems it will cause his family is reprehensible.  Shame on Montreal for kissing the league's butt.

 

If the league just had to get Scott out of there, they could have done something to skew the voting.  These things aren't like elections.  They could have done something to fake a new result and credited the fans with "coming to their senses" or some stupid thing.  They'd have saved more face even if they'd been caught than they have with this.




#2646934 Official Detroit Lions thread

Posted by 55fan on 09 January 2016 - 10:11 AM

I read that Calvin kept the ball from his last TD.

 

I may be reading too much into it, but that doesn't sound promising for his return. 




#2644771 Disney Buys Star Wars, 3 New Films Coming

Posted by 55fan on 29 December 2015 - 04:09 PM

Finally saw it!

Two thumbs up.  Three if I borrow one.




#2644713 Wings Younger Players

Posted by 55fan on 29 December 2015 - 10:41 AM

When I was 24..

Caesar Augustus was named Roman Counsel for the 10th time.

Augustus founded Nicopolis in Egypt to commemorate his victory over Marc Anthony.

Chris Chelios' rookie season.

Dick Clark first appeared on Roman Bandstand (which would become the inspiration for American Bandstand, which was cooler, but had fewer lutes).

 

Ok, seriously...

Reunification of Germany

Mandela released from prison

Thatcher resigned as Prime Minister

The first Walmart opened on the West Coast (California)

Work began on the creation of the World Wide Web

Home Alone was released

Sammy Davis, Jr. died

Wings' starting goalie was Tim Cheveldae

Penguins beat the North Stars in the last SCF to end in May

Ed Belfour won the Calder, Vezina, and Jennings trophies

Hasek, Fedorov, Jagr, and Draper made their NHL debuts




#2644356 Merry Christmas

Posted by 55fan on 26 December 2015 - 06:42 PM

I know it is a hair early, but I'd like to wish everyone on LGW a very Merry Christmas (or whatever other holiday tradition you observe)!

A lot of the regulars know I am a music teacher. Here is a vid of one of the songs my concert choir did this year in our winter concert that our tech admin put online. Thanks to Jimmyemeryhunter for the help with the embed. Enjoy, it is a little-known song called "That Night" arranged by Ronn Huff taken from his cantata "Unto Us a Child Is Born"

From one music teacher to another, I must congratulate you and your kids on a job well done.
Merry Christmas, Happy Boxing Day, Happy New Year, and on and on around the calendar until next Christmas!




#2643316 Jarret Stoll claimed off waivers by Minnesota

Posted by 55fan on 18 December 2015 - 06:39 PM

The first game- the first notable thing he does- he takes a penalty, which kind of sucked because they were hoping that he'd help them on the PK.

 

Beyond that, he didn't look bad.  Haula had to sit so he could play, and I've become fond of Haula, but Stoll certainly didn't look out of place.  I think he's going to do well there.




#2642774 Fresh Prince of Grand Rapids..

Posted by 55fan on 13 December 2015 - 12:12 AM

Ha. Its pretty damn cringeworthy though.



Still.
It could be worse.
At least these antics are kept to our AHL affiliate.

AARGH!  And I thought the the English was bad!




#2642251 Fresh Prince of Grand Rapids..

Posted by 55fan on 11 December 2015 - 01:15 PM

Also, I think you could land a remote control plane on Athanasiou's eyebrows.

Hey, as long as Athaniseeyouthroughmyeyebrows can put the puck in the net, he can wear his facial hair any way he likes it. 

Also, as a woman, I can tell you that plucking hurts and he would have a lot to pluck.  I don't blame him for leaving them bushy, but since they're perfectly evenly shaped, I'm guessing he does some sculpting.




#2641623 TSN: Pascal Dupuis retiring due to medical condition

Posted by 55fan on 08 December 2015 - 05:28 PM

Nothing wrong with putting your health and family first.

 

I hate the Pens, but this isn't about the team, it's about a person.  I wish him all the best in the future.




#2637383 The person below me game...

Posted by 55fan on 16 November 2015 - 05:59 PM

funny-photos-unicorns-real.jpg

 

The person below me has (or has had) hair past their waist.
(And since I know some of you quite well, let me specify that I am referring to the hair on your head growing long enough to pass the waist.)




#2636668 The person below me game...

Posted by 55fan on 12 November 2015 - 05:18 PM

I played it when I was young.  Not into it at all now.

 

The person below me has used condoms as balloons.