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Flintstone Cicarelli

Member Since 03 Jun 2009
Offline Last Active Jun 11 2009 09:48 AM
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Topics I've Started

There's Something About Mellon

10 June 2009 - 06:35 AM

No not Six, it all about Seven, Seven's the key number here
Seven doors, Seven-Eleven
Seven Chipmunks twirling on a branch
Eating lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch.
You know that old children's tale from the sea.
Like your dreaming of gorgonzola cheese when its clearly brie time baby.
Step into my office, cause you'ref****** fired

My Strategy if I were Byslma

09 June 2009 - 09:08 AM

I'd direct my team to come out firing for at least the first 10 to 15 minutes of period 1. I'd instruct the players to shoot from every angle and from any vantage point. I'd instruct the forwards to crash the net when the puck is at the point hoping for a rebound or a redirect off of a Gonchar or Letang slapper. Maybe you get a nice shot or deflection, maybe you get some action in the crease maybe you get a powerplay out of it. If Ozzie looks to be gobbling up and black-holing all things puck-like, then we still have 45 minutes to revert pack to pass-pass-pass-set-up-pass shoot. What is there to lose, 'cept Stanley's shiny cup?

Class and Hockey.

07 June 2009 - 10:02 AM

Fan board denizens love to break out the class card when waxing unphilosophical about their opposition’s players. When they speak of their own they call classlessness by another name, grit. A cross check in the crease is a travesty; unless it is the hometown skate jockey grittily clearing out the area for your net minder. A medium-hard tap on the shin with the blade of a stick after the play is a horribly uncouth thing to do in a civilized game like hockey; unless it is your guy giving my guy a small reminder that he'll be there all game ready to mix it up. That, my son, is grit at grits best. Did he get an elbow up? What a lout. Did he take a run? Such a cretin. You see the way our guy facewashed their guy after their guy had the audacity to go after a rebound that our guy gave up after their guy, who beat our guy, wristed one toward our net and our guy? Grit, man, grit. Hey our guy only slashed your guy because your guy got his stick high (in such a classless way) a few shifts ago. Your guy is a classless animal. Our guy; gritty competitor.

I, for one, think the only classy moment in hockey should be handshake ceremony (slash) tradition at the end of a very classless and gritty playoff series.



Now a disclaimer from our lawyers: The authors and their counterparts do not nor have they ever condones a purposeful slash to the possible broken foot of an opposing teams start player back for his first game in a series. Although we freely admit that action to be classless; we also admit it takes some fair level of grit to pull it off on national TV.

I love Hockey Fans.

03 June 2009 - 09:44 AM

As I sat in my local bar on the outskirts of Pittsburgh last night watching game 3, drinking a cold beer and swearing at Fluery everytime he bumbled out of the net and fumbled with the puck like a bear cub playing with his pecker with boxing gloves on; I couldn't but think "damn the Wings are killing us tonight".

Sure, we won. Sure, bounces and penalties and circumstances help the lesser playing team win a hockey game some nights.

But, I'll be damned if the rank and file Pens fans in the bar and the ones that streamed in coming from the game all had a voice of domination and Pens solid play etc etc etc. I sipped my beer silently and thought; christ all mighty, we better play more solid hockey in the next few games or we'll be watching the red and white hoist the hardware again. Three fans in the slot by Zetterberg and Franzen away from being a 5-2 hockey game; I saw it.

Then today, I visit this forum to see what the faithful Wingnuts are saying and I see threads about Cooke and Orpik and dirty play etc etc etc and I sipped my coffee and silently thought "When Krommie does it the Pens fans say the same thing".


It is all about perspective. Hockey fans have zero perspective and fine honed in homer feelings. And I love them. Sit in a bar and listen during the next game; you'll hear the worst hockey color commentary from the gin soaked louts to the right and left.

I love hockey fans.


I read twitterings of Bettman's hands on the game and his orchestrating a ratings series and I laugh. I wonder why he didn't give the Pens game 1 to make it real interesting. I wonder how he moves the post to deflect shots when he needs it too. I wonder how he knows that the 4 or 5 power plays he allowed the refs to call in each game would be enough to keep his master plan on track.

I love hockey fans. I do.


Heres to a great game 4, 5 and hopefully 6 or 7. I'll love every comment, off-based ranting diatribe, sickening me-focused screed and every bashing, tongue lashing and intra-hockey-fan-forum fight.

And my sphincter will buckle everytime I see a huge mule in the crease untouched and a sharp shooter in red left open at the point while my team in black stand dizzily watching. I'll sip my beer and wonder why in God's name someone doesn't d-up the point man and chuck the crease squatter.

I love hockey fans. I love hockey. I do.