I'm here! I'm so nervous I could puke, but I'm here! I was hoping to not have to do this again (f*** you, Lumbus!), but here goes:
You know what? Z has done a s***ty job as captain. He never deserved the C, and now he's clearly showing why. He can't carry this team on his back, and because of that we can look forward to losing many years' worth of must win games because we have no leadership. Where are our veterans?! We have a bunch of kids running around in poopy diapers, spazzing all over the ice and tripping over their own dicks because they're toof****** excited! This DelKeyser kid makes too many mistakes because he's out there ripping around, taking chances, and trying to show off. I mean, WTF?! And is Brunner not the laziest son of a ***** you have ever seen? He doesn't even try! Don't get me started on Tootoo. What af****** *****! My grandma could kick his ass with her diabetes monitor. Mark my words--this team is going nowhere, so get used to The Suck. I don't know about the rest of you, but I will be jumping off this bandwagon like af****** Titanic survivor after the game tonight. Whatever.
The best part of these Smoke, is that your posts could just as easily could show up here on LGW as a serious rant and not a parody! In fact im sure if we scoured the threads we could find wagon fans losing their s*** just like this after losses.