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Member Since 11 Feb 2012
Offline Last Active Today, 08:55 AM

#2650946 Random Discussion Thread

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 04 February 2016 - 11:51 PM

Sweet jesus it's good to be back!

Don't ever leave me again, LGW!

#2650702 Amusing stories you have heard or lived.

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 31 January 2016 - 12:49 AM


The year was 1993. A bad ass year by all accounts. I was a young lass of 13, living the good life. I was cute, and due to a solid reputation I had built for myself, no one f***ed with me. The roller rink was the place to be, and on this fine evening I was patronizing an establishment a couple towns over with my bestie since 1st grade (who is still my bestie to this day, holla) and another girl we hung out with. Generously dropped off by my bestie's mom, we had an evening of freedom ahead of us--skates, nachos, and BOYS. We scoped out the prospects for a bit, when a tall drink of water asked me to skate with him. He was hot, so naturally with much giggling and whispering with the girls I agreed. We tooled around for a bit, flirting awkwardly with wheels strapped to our feet as only young teens can. I had to go to the bathroom, but it could wait. This was serious business. So I made the fatal mistake--I pushed it. I skated and skated with this cutie until I couldn't take it anymore. I excused myself and headed toward the bathroom. What follows is nothing short of a Benny Hill skit. The second I stepped off the rink, Satan and all his minions were conspiring to keep me away from the bathroom. There was the birthday party of 8,000 elementary schoolers that I had to deke, my friends furiously clamoring for deets, THAT DAMN CARPET that slowed my skates to a crawl, a curious gaggle of middle aged women, and the fact that I had to essentially do the Pee Pee Dance ™ with what felt like snow tires attached to my feet. I had waited too long, but I was determined to make it. With a fire in my belly (bladder), I approached the ladies' room with what felt like an unnatural slowness reserved for running in dreams. I was almost there. The promise land was within my grasp, and I longed for the sweet release that freeing my myself from my ripped denim would bring. I got to the door, squeezed the handle, and was stopped mid-door swing by The Boy. "Hey, you ready to skate?" That was it. My moment had passed. The crushing realization that I was too late dawned on me with an icy shudder wherein I turned to look at him, shrugged, and peed my pants whilst looking him directly in the eyes. I owned it. I asserted my dominance like a dog marking a bush. I continued to stare him down as it dawned on him exactly what was happening. He skated away in disgust as my bestie skated up next to me. We looked at each other for a brief, fleeting moment before she broke the silence as only a bestie can--in the most deadpan of voices she said "Dude. Did you just piss your pants?" Thankfully I have no shame and we proceeded to break into hysterical laughter. the rest of the night is a blur except for the vague memory of driving home in her mom's car sitting on an old blanket. I never saw The Boy again, nor did I (forever thankful that this didn't happen in my town) set foot in that roller rink ever again.

I'm pretty sure that was the last time I ever wet my pants while sober.

#2650159 1/25 GDT - Red Wings 4 at Islanders 2

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 25 January 2016 - 09:38 PM

I'm here!

*pats butts*

#2649897 The person below me game...

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 24 January 2016 - 02:03 PM

:lol: YES! Seen, not been.

I'll let the person who answers the legitimate next question pose the next one lol

#2649717 CSKA 1988-89

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 23 January 2016 - 08:10 PM

Man, to watch that Bure/Fedorov/Mogilny line every night...

#2649557 1/22 GDT : Detroit Red Wings - Buffalo Sabres, 7:00 EST

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 22 January 2016 - 09:50 PM

*pats butts*

#2649430 Abdelkader Player's Tribune article

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 22 January 2016 - 11:51 AM

I give him mad props for graduating. It's got to be difficult to stay motivated to grind it out in his situation. Kudos.

But also Go Blue

#2649054 Kronwall out 2-4 Weeks after Knee Scope

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 19 January 2016 - 10:20 PM

Good time to do it. Well before the playoffs and with the extra break for the ASG. Hopefully this explains his lower performance this year, and he'll be back to his old self in a month or two!

#2648750 1/17 GDT : Flyers (2) at Red Wings (1) Shoot Out

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 17 January 2016 - 10:28 PM

truth nuggets... Or poop nuggets?? [emoji90][emoji90]

tomayto tomahto :lol:

#2648742 1/17 GDT : Flyers (2) at Red Wings (1) Shoot Out

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 17 January 2016 - 10:23 PM

Oh Keith Jones and Jeremy Roenick are going to analyze some of the tricky calls the refs had to deal with this game. *immediatelychangeschannel*

How dare you. I for one care deeply about everything Jeremy Roenick has to say. Drops some real truth nuggets, that one.


#2648677 1/17 GDT : Flyers (2) at Red Wings (1) Shoot Out

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 17 January 2016 - 10:04 PM

Def interference, but Mraz really sells these things

He's no Mike Smith :lol:

#2648662 1/17 GDT : Flyers (2) at Red Wings (1) Shoot Out

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 17 January 2016 - 10:02 PM

I would love to see the player Smith could become if we could just remove his shriveled peanut brain...

#2648588 1/17 GDT : Flyers (2) at Red Wings (1) Shoot Out

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 17 January 2016 - 09:39 PM

Not hard to blow a lead in the 3rd when you're consistently only ahead by one fricking goal.


#2648367 Post Everytime You Look

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 17 January 2016 - 01:19 AM

I love how you are sentimentally looking up Alan Rickman videos while I'm in the other thread fapping to Deadpool :lol:

#2648365 1/7 GDT : Red Wings at San Jose Sharks, 10:30 EST

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 17 January 2016 - 01:05 AM

E and Qs thighs are effin monstrous.

Giiiiirrrrrlllll preach