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BottleOfSmoke

Member Since 11 Feb 2012
Offline Last Active Today, 11:40 AM
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#2652930 2/14 GDT - Bruins at Red Wings - 3:30 PM EST

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 14 February 2016 - 06:11 PM

*pats butts*


#2652254 First time visitor to Detroit

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 12 February 2016 - 02:15 PM

Bucharest for the Shwarma,

Lafayette coney (f*** American)


Their curly fries and hummus are tasty. And how dare you.


#2652236 First time visitor to Detroit

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 12 February 2016 - 01:11 PM

If you like Greek food, then Greektown's a must. Nemo's for bar food/drinks, and you have to pick your favorite coney at either American or Lafayette. Slow's is great if you have a hankering for bbq, or Hockeytown cafe if you want the traditional Wings experience. A lot of places have shuttles to the Joe if you're eating/boozing there, or you could hop on the people mover. Stick to the main roads and well-lit areas and you won't have a problem.


#2652235 So Kenny Trades You...

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 12 February 2016 - 01:06 PM

EDIT - I forgot to ask - what did your game day meal comprise of?
 


Mexican food :lol:


#2652211 So Kenny Trades You...

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 12 February 2016 - 11:31 AM

I'm a forward, and I get dumped in Chicago. I play nice until the first time the Wings come to town, then in the middle of the second period I freak out Slap Shot style and start doing a striptease. Once fully nude, I will gracefully skate to center ice and take a big, steaming dump on the Hawks logo while flipping the bird. When I've finished, I will make the "mike drop" gesture and skate off the ice. This is particularly beautiful because once the fallout is cleared, they still have half a game to play :lol:

I may lose my career, but I will go down in NHL history.


#2652006 2/10 GDT : Ottawa Senators at Red Wings, 7:00 EST

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 10 February 2016 - 09:40 PM

*pats butts*

Let's get a streak going here!


#2651689 9 (NINE!) player trade involving Phanuef

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 09 February 2016 - 11:43 AM

Wow. At least now I don't have to worry about Kenny having a legendary brain fart to bring Phaneuf to Detroit *shiver*


#2651643 2/8 GDT : Florida Panthers at Detroit Red Wings, 7:30 EST

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 08 February 2016 - 10:28 PM

*shutout butt pats*


#2651480 Barclays CEO - Watch on your phone if you don't like obstructed vi

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 08 February 2016 - 03:05 PM

Bad business.


#2651437 D-Boz tearin 'em up in the D!

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 08 February 2016 - 11:55 AM

I'm so glad the internet wasn't a thing when my best friend and I were making ridiculously embarrassing videos that we thought were super awesome :lol:


#2651311 Flyers/Penguins Winter Classic 2011....I mean 2017

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 06 February 2016 - 08:32 PM

Meh. For me, nothing can top the WC at the big house. I got what I wanted, it was an awesome experience, and I stopped caring.


#2651302 2/6 GDT : New York Islanders at Red Wings, 7:30 EST

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 06 February 2016 - 07:28 PM

Missed this one, looks like they finally got their s*** together?!

*pats butts*


#2650949 We're Back Up!

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 05 February 2016 - 12:18 AM

*pats butts*


#2650946 Random Discussion Thread

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 04 February 2016 - 11:51 PM

Sweet jesus it's good to be back!

Don't ever leave me again, LGW!


#2650702 Amusing stories you have heard or lived.

Posted by BottleOfSmoke on 31 January 2016 - 12:49 AM

Deal.

The year was 1993. A bad ass year by all accounts. I was a young lass of 13, living the good life. I was cute, and due to a solid reputation I had built for myself, no one f***ed with me. The roller rink was the place to be, and on this fine evening I was patronizing an establishment a couple towns over with my bestie since 1st grade (who is still my bestie to this day, holla) and another girl we hung out with. Generously dropped off by my bestie's mom, we had an evening of freedom ahead of us--skates, nachos, and BOYS. We scoped out the prospects for a bit, when a tall drink of water asked me to skate with him. He was hot, so naturally with much giggling and whispering with the girls I agreed. We tooled around for a bit, flirting awkwardly with wheels strapped to our feet as only young teens can. I had to go to the bathroom, but it could wait. This was serious business. So I made the fatal mistake--I pushed it. I skated and skated with this cutie until I couldn't take it anymore. I excused myself and headed toward the bathroom. What follows is nothing short of a Benny Hill skit. The second I stepped off the rink, Satan and all his minions were conspiring to keep me away from the bathroom. There was the birthday party of 8,000 elementary schoolers that I had to deke, my friends furiously clamoring for deets, THAT DAMN CARPET that slowed my skates to a crawl, a curious gaggle of middle aged women, and the fact that I had to essentially do the Pee Pee Dance ™ with what felt like snow tires attached to my feet. I had waited too long, but I was determined to make it. With a fire in my belly (bladder), I approached the ladies' room with what felt like an unnatural slowness reserved for running in dreams. I was almost there. The promise land was within my grasp, and I longed for the sweet release that freeing my myself from my ripped denim would bring. I got to the door, squeezed the handle, and was stopped mid-door swing by The Boy. "Hey, you ready to skate?" That was it. My moment had passed. The crushing realization that I was too late dawned on me with an icy shudder wherein I turned to look at him, shrugged, and peed my pants whilst looking him directly in the eyes. I owned it. I asserted my dominance like a dog marking a bush. I continued to stare him down as it dawned on him exactly what was happening. He skated away in disgust as my bestie skated up next to me. We looked at each other for a brief, fleeting moment before she broke the silence as only a bestie can--in the most deadpan of voices she said "Dude. Did you just piss your pants?" Thankfully I have no shame and we proceeded to break into hysterical laughter. the rest of the night is a blur except for the vague memory of driving home in her mom's car sitting on an old blanket. I never saw The Boy again, nor did I (forever thankful that this didn't happen in my town) set foot in that roller rink ever again.

I'm pretty sure that was the last time I ever wet my pants while sober.