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Member Since 30 May 2004
Offline Last Active Apr 20 2006 12:13 AM

Topics I've Started

Hackert gone...

09 December 2005 - 12:13 AM

Heard he is going home. It has not worked out for him in GR... Later!

New proposal to save Northwest and Delta Airlines

05 November 2005 - 08:31 PM

Subject: Proposal to save Delta and Northwest airlines!
Replace all female flight attendants with good lookin' strippers.
What the hell? The attendants have gotten old and haggard looking. They
don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would double, triple, perhaps quadruple the alcohol
consumption and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin.

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked
women. And, of course, every heterosexual businessman in this country
would start flying again hoping to see naked women. Hijackings would come
to a screeching halt and the airline industry would see record revenue.

Why the hell didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do
everything myself?


Bill Clinton

Annual Neologism Contest

03 November 2005 - 02:21 PM


Annual Neologism Contest

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. ******** (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


19 October 2005 - 01:00 PM

So much for that long weekend in Islamorada I had planned... mad.gif


Haunted New Orleans...

23 September 2005 - 11:14 AM

Anyone believe in ghosts? My ex wife and I took a ghost tour in Key West that was fun, but in light of the plight N.O. is in makes this eery...

Guardsmen Sense Ghostly Presence In New Orleans
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(CBS5) The presence of the supernatural and the influence of voodoo long have been synonymous with New Orleans.

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, members of the U.S. military are saying that there's something spooky going on and it's not just images of death and destruction that's haunting them.

By all accounts, the Sophie B. Wright Middle School in New Orleans sits empty and evacuated except for military personnel who have taken over the campus as a staging site for missions around the battered city.

But the men in uniform have the feeling that they're not alone. It prompted a chaplain to utter this directive: "In the name of Jesus Chris, I command you Satan to leave the dark areas of this building."

Said Sgt. Robin Hairston of the California National Guard: "I was in my sleeping bag and I opened by eyes and in the doorway was a little girl," . "It wasn't my imagination."

Hairston wasn't the only one seeing things. Spc. Rosales Leanor had her own close encounter.

"I was using the restroom and I just saw a little shadow," Leanor said, "kind of looming in front of me."

Another member of the Guard unit said that she saw and heard a little girl laughing when she opened a closet that contained cleaning supplies.

At a Baton Rouge marina, boats were strewn like trash, but not a shred of paper could be found. Except for the pages of a Bible, which was found by a soldier. It was open to the Book of Revelations.

At a nearby church, nearly destroyed, another Bible was found, showing the exact same passage from Revelations.

Like the power of nature, there is a power at work in New Orleans that defies explanation.

By Janet Yee