Electrophile

The difference is, this thread, unlike the trade thread, is meant to be a joke, and a bit of comedy, and most people who've posted in this thread understand that and appreciate it.

Make 'em do suicides until they can barely stand up, and then when they all catch their breaths, make them do it again. I love Babs, I think he's a great coach, but what the Wings need right now is a ball-buster, and Bowman is that guy. He wouldn't have tolerated this for more than two periods, much less five games. Come to think of it, I think their strength and conditioning coaches should do the suicides with them, because they're the reason the team looks so lethargic and exhausted before the 3rd period is even over.

And you don't think you're doing the same thing? This thread is meant to be lighthearted, to bring a little gaiety to this place right now. You can't see that for what it is? Sometimes a little well-intentioned humor is a good thing, and it doesn't detract from actual discussion here, either. Seriously. You're constantly accusing people here of being the "thought police", and then you go around doing the same gottverdamnt thing.

The 1995-96 Red Wings also lost in 6 games to the Avalanche in the Western Conference Finals.

Lighten up. The Wings suck right now, we need some levity around here. Not everything has to be "ZOMG SUPER SERIOUS!!11!" all the damn time.

Is this salt or lemon juice that is being applied to the gaping wound? I can't tell.

They are to the last few years what the Avs were to the 1990s. Every decade needs a villain.

Take this thread in the spirit in which it was intended and laugh. It's better than being bitter and angry. Edit: The answer is clearly Jimmy Howard and his functioning penis. He really shouldn't have been so selfish.

No, but it means something if someone like Nick is speaking out about it. If it's egregious enough to get his attention, it means something in the milk ain't clean.

Yes, I expect a lot of the Wings. I expect them to not play with their heads up their asses. What I also expect is that when they're not shorthanded, they score some goals from time to time. I expect their defense in front of the net to be stronger. Jimmy was great tonight, this loss isn't on him. I expect the players to not be sloppy and lethargic looking all the time. Is it wrong to expect the Red Wings to manage more than one goal a game, irrespective of whether they had one penalty called against them or twenty? We weren't on the PK all damn night. Well, I appreciate it all the same. A little ego boost never hurt anyone.

Has Nick ever not been an absolute boss? They don't call him the Perfect Human for nothing. Let's face it - we suck right now. Someone has to set the tone. You want that someone to be the captain, otherwise why give them the C? Of all the players on the ice, I expect the most out of Nick night after night, and he rises to that. Perhaps everyone else on the team should take some notes.

LOL, thanks. Somehow, the dancing bananas lessen the sting of this loss.

Hard, but not impossible. There is such a thing as shorthanded goals. However, it wasn't until the 3rd period that we started getting hammered with penalties, so there was plenty more time during the game when it was 5 on 5 that we did jack s***. Harding is a good goaltender, but he's not Gump Worsley. He can be scored on.

As well it should. You can argue whether some of the penalties we took were legit or not, the main point is that we managed yet again, only 1 goal. That's not going to win you a lot of games. Just like you don't win a lot of baseball games scoring only 1 run, or many football games with just a field goal or touchdown. You kinda sorta need to do more than the bare minimum.

I wasn't necessarily speaking in direct reference to that shift. I'm talking about in general. The Wings have consistently looked tired and more sloppy as games progress, regardless of the score. What I want to know is why. You know how a toy sounds/acts when the batteries are winding down? That's what they look like.

Considering how the Red Wings have played the last five games, this might be more appropriate:

I seriously hope Matt has girded the servers with adamantium or something, because this place is going to freakin' melt down. Also, while the season is far from over, the Wings still have a great opportunity to do great things this season, right now........remember the end of Old Yeller? Yeah.

Not to harp on a point I made in the previous game, but why is this team so tired? They haven't played in what, three or four days? I don't expect them to be daisy fresh near the end, but for God's sake.....you're supposed to be highly-conditioned athletes. You shouldn't be running on fumes like this, game after game. What are they doing in terms of endurance and what not to maintain a high level of functionality toward the end of the game?

Wings on the PK. What a novel event.

Thank you. If only other people appreciated my majesticism. Hmmph.

This was ever in doubt?

Homer, that was retarded. Pardon the usage of the word, but I think in this instance, it was warranted.

See? Someone who understands.

Let's get a goal here. Goals are good. When we score them.