Electrophile

I hope someone got a picture.

f*** you, Detroit. This is coming from a fan of nearly two decades. f*** you. Harsh words maybe, but I don't care.

It's been a privilege to watch him play all these years. We've been incredibly lucky as fans to have some of the players we've had, and I hope as disappointed as Nick no doubt will be, he understands how much the fans appreciate him and what he's done for us.

If you're looking at who's responsible for this pathetic s***show, and your choice is Babcock, you're doing it wrong. Babs can only play who he's got. He doesn't have a lot of really good choices. We suck, alright? We were going to suck whether Babcock played Nyquist or NyQuil, and that's that. This team is deeply, deeply flawed, far beyond anything that has to do with Mike Babcock's at times puzzling lineup choices. He's one of the best coaches in the league, and we should be lucky we have him.

If Holland is still the GM, no. We need fresh blood in this organization. A lot of it. The fish rots from the head down. You can't rid of Illitch, he owns the team. So, who's next?

Not to jump on the bandwagon, but Holland needs to go. I'm sorry, but we've been coasting too long on the successes of the late 90s/early 00's teams, and part of that is letting Holland get away with not doing anything to improve the team season after season after season. Babs can only work with what Holland gives him, so our s***tiness isn't his fault. He can't make lazy, entitled, below average players look good. Babs needs a better team to work with, and the first step in getting there is getting a new GM. And no, that doesn't mean getting Steve out of Tampa. When his current contract is up, I'd love to see him GM this team, because I ******* love the guy and want to see him back in Detroit. However I don't want Steve in charge of another Dead Wings-era lineup. I'd like someone else to suffer that ignominy so that Steve can take the helm of a winning, competent, capable squad.

The Red Wings treat their captains worse than North Korea treats its citizens. Sweat and bleed for this team, and we'll send you out like a ******* chump.

"The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. We don't need no water, let that motherf***er burn......"

There's always baseball season. Of course, if I were you, I'd put your eggs in the Tigers' basket rather than Boston's. They're a bit s***ty right now. Well, more than a bit, but I'm trying to be nice.

If I'm Hank, I tell the team to take their "C" and shove it where the sun don't shine.

I'd cry, but these assholes aren't worth that. I'm just going to sit here really quietly.

We're watching Nick Lidstrom's last game, and this is how his team is going to send him out. Not with a bang, but a whimper. ******* pathetic.

Shanahan screwed up. It's going to happen. Get over it.

I see the Red Wings are in no hurry to score tonight.

.....Brooklyn is hard to reach for Islanders fans? BROOKLYN IS ON LONG ISLAND, YOU MORONIC TWIT. I bet you Islanders fans that live in Nassau can get to Manhattan without a problem, but move the hockey team to Brooklyn, and suddenly that's too much of an epic journey. Why, the fans will have to take provisions on the road with them, lest they die of dysentery or something. Oy gevalt. The only team that should be moving to Brooklyn is the Dodgers, which is where they freakin' belong.

Come on Philly. You have to win. If you don't, your team should be contracted. Thanks to Kevin (Edicius) on Twitter, now everyone can!

Maybe he should tighten it instead.

The team is deeply flawed. We're going to get better by trading one of our two best players, the only two players who've consistently shown up all series? Did you learn nothing from the untimely death of Whitney Houston? Crack is wack, yo.

I double-dog defy someone to Photoshop this way the way its begging to.

It's entertaining in its awfulness. Like an episode of any program on network TV today.

I say f*** it and make everyone play blindfolded.

WHO WANTS A CHEESESTEAK?! Edit: This is going to be one of those football score kind of games, right?

Philly, you're supposed to win tonight. Let's make that happen, huh?

What, so the person who delivers it can be executed in the morning for crimes against humanity? HWSNBN is untouchable. Well, you can touch him, but you'll have to pay. Which is incidentally, how he makes his rent payments each month.

Shake it off, Philly. Shake it off. These turds are rattled, restless, and ready to drop a load in their hockey pants. MAKE IT HAPPEN.