donfishmaster

This sportswriter is an epic, Eric Carman-sized, FAIL! "Columbus BJs, you ARE the weakest link! Good-bye!:

I'll bet other teams such as the B.J.s really are getting sick and tired of the whole octopus thing... I guess it's good I don't give the slightest chunk of rat-s&@t what any fan of any other team thinks or feels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The ONLY, repeat ONLY thing us Wings fans need to be concerned with now is beating down the BlueJackets sooo badly that they move to Cleveland. Games 1 and 2 were too easy, we looked wayyyyy too dominating, Columbus looked like its only excuse for defense was to collapse on the goal and let our guys play pinball from 25 feet out. All I want is to see the Jackets crushed in game three. Period.

It's NOT Joe's fault. Worse than touching the President's Cup, worse even than touching the Octopus, the Sharks embraced the vile pile of infected smegma known as Claude LePuke. This is God's holy vengeance for allowing his fetid continence back on NHL ice. Amen.

Hitchcock "and the Red Wings players smack the puck so hard, it is just mean. They bump our players and give them ouchies and booboos that I have to kiss on the way back to Columbus. I think the Red Wings are just trying to cause owwies...they're just not playing fair. Why don't they let us win?!"

I keep hearing the Doobie Brothers in the background: "What a fool believes, the wise man has the power...to reason away..."

I respectfully disagree... I would LOVE to see the Wings take down PrickPronger, Niederoscarmeyer, and the rest of the Lousy *ucks. Don't you want to see your team get to beat-down its most hated opponent? Ok, that's not going to happen since the Colorado 'Avacramps are busy flogging their weiners, but you get the idea.

Wow...I watched the game at a sports bar with some friends. WTF? If that was a penalty-shot, I can only think of...oh, maybe 50 of those during the season that Datsyuk, Z, and Hossa are owed. Wow....what an enormous pile of utter dogs***...wow...

I would respectfully submit that Ozzie has played like s***.

GREAT job Staubitz! Another reason to respect the Fish (I always liked your organization until you added Claude LePuke, which kind of promoted San Jose to the just-behind-the-Colorad0-'Avacramps hate list.)

Remember a long, long, long time ago (10 months) when our defense was awesome? Did Dallas Drake make all the difference?

Every shot on Ozzie I cringe, but I feel like we have to make the absolutely perfect play and shot on Biron to have any chance whatsoever.

We should probably try to score soon...

Why do so many opponents' goalies have Vezina nights against the Wings?

I respectfully submit that Ozzie should have stopped that shot...

Biron looks solid.

Yeah, always a good idea to be tentative and lay back on a 1:30 5-on-3?!! WTF!!!!!!!

I've always wondered why Andreas has gotten so much crap from lots of Wings fans. He looks like he plays his heart out every shift. He has below average god-given hockey skills. I'd rather have that combo that an above-average lazy player. He is what he is...

Ahhh...the ranting of a syphillitic *****-in-training.

Prick-pronger, Claude LePuke, and Patty Roy (rhymes with 'boy') are the three players that would cause me to reconsider my life-long loyalty to the Winged Wheel. Please cease all idiocy immediately...

I....I...I'm...I'm sorry Duck Guy. Your question is valid and you obviously have a knowledge of hockey, so I assume you're a decent guy. It's just that...ummmm....ProngerPrick is one of three players in recent history (Claude LePuke and Patty Roy(rhymes with boy) being the others) that--upon being added to my beloved Wings roster, would require me to re-evaluate my life-long loyalty to the Winged Wheel. When I have a crappy day, I think of him blowing out his ACL while trying to put a hit on Stevie Y. So while I think your question is completely valid, and it makes for an interesting hockey mental exercise, I....I just can't bring myself to address it. sorry...

If the statistical improbability of Avery winning the Cup ever materialized, he'd probably fill it with a "Rufy Cocktail", invite a dozen of his smegma-coated, toothless homeless buddies over to gang-abuse it, and leave it dented and broken under a bridge in Highland Park.

Wow, you put a lot of time into that. Why not try the same idea for some other useless teams that nobody cares about, such as Colorado, Anaheim, or Pittsburgh?

Anyone who has &u#~ed Rachel Hunter, Cuthbert, et al, is an all-star in my book!