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I think its great that so many of you have reached out to this person in an effort to help. I sure hope redwinggirlz finds help.
Not many know this and since I'm kinda annonymous (sp?) here I'll share my story and make it brief....
About 15 years ago, I was a total wreck. I was nearly bankrupt and my finacee- my high school sweetheart- had left me. I was jobless and very close to being homeless. I had just dropped out of college and my future seemed very dim. I bought some pills and I was going to end it all. I took 'em and the only thing that happened was that I just got very sick and threw up. I couldn't even get suicide right. That made it even worse. All this time, I had family and friends who loved me, but I didn't want to bother them with my troubles. I thought that by asking them for help, I would surely look like some low life scum bag. I even thought about comitting a few crimes to get thrown in jail. At least then, I'd have a place to stay.
Well, my life began to change when an uncle of mine passed away. He was an alcoholic throughout his life but he was a great guy. I had been to funerals before, but this one really got to me. The family was all together mourning our loss. Aunts, unles, cousins, parents, brothers and sisters- they were all crying over this man. I kinda put myself aside for a few minutes and realized that I COULD NOT DO THIS TO MY FAMILY. I realized that my suicidal thoughts were selfish.
Today, I am a happily married man with a child due to be born in April. My financial status is improving, but I do own a small home and I've been working at the same job for over 9 years. I'm 33 years old and I've had a lot of failures in my life. But my life isn't half over yet and I have a lot of successes to come. I have a family, a wife, two cats, and many friends that love me. I have also gone back to religion recently and that makes me feel even better because I know that God loves me too.
I guess I just wanted to say that it does get better. Please find help. E-mail me or anyone else here. There is so much to live for. I never thought there was so much to live for 15 years ago, but there is. God Bless! :-)
