55fan

I did do some writing today, but it was more the intellectual sort than the creative. I think I used up my creativity during my post-game nap yesterday. I dreamed that a troupe of Shakespearean actors wanted to branch out so they became porn stars but still used Elizabethan English. Shakespeare was kind of a raunchy comic for his time, so it fit. They were doing a play/movie (hard to tell in a dream) about a Roman soldier who is wounded and unable to fight so he's forced to become a dentist despite his dream of becoming a pastry chef. It was Airplane!-like humour in Shakespearean language except during the sex scenes when they often broke into song and chorus-line dance Broadway style. I was cheesed when my alarm went off. I never got to see how it ended. The person below me bought a Megamillion ticket in the last week.

Actually, he's played 8 games according to the official Red Wings website. Now we just need him to play more. EDIT: Sorry, Hooon. I see you posted this whilst I was fact-checking. My apologies to the both of you.

Can Detroit turn things around? We can and we will. We will find what things need turning. We will find a way to grasp them. We will agree on a common direction in which to turn these things. We will lift as one and turn these things in unison. Then Cleary will fall down, Sammy will overshoot the target destination, every player that hasn't been the blank in a "Bench Blank!" thread will be injured from the lopsided weight distribution, and LGW will have a debate on the effect an enforcer would have had on the things. April will come, the injuries will have healed, the GR kids who have earned the ice time will get it, and we'll head into the playoffs to meet our fate, whatever it may be. We'll look back and marvel at the things that we turned once we got over our injuries, felt the pressure of looking at the playoff picture on the bubble, and focused on winning. Can we turn things around? You bet your sweet bippy, we can. And a Zetterberg will lead them all.

YES!!!

Good. Now let's hope Abby gets better soon.

Wow. When she lets gravity work in her favour, her boobs are almost as big as my Uncle DuWayne's. j/k I don't actually have an Uncle DuWayne.

I hadn't heard about that. Never liked that guy. Beady eyes and all that. Totally off-topic, but you used to have Bettman in your avatar, didn't you? Or am I mixing you up with someone else?

I don't usually make it here during games since it's hard to read, post, and watch all at the same time on one computer. Plus when we lose, I prefer to be alone in my despair.

Dear Lions, Don't go breaking my heart. Love, your long-time fan, Karen

Only Sheahan is in jail. Smith can't come to the practice because he can't find his driver's license, which is missing from his gym bag, but somehow ended up in Sheahan's possession. Again.

When they're doing their thing, they deter mid-period trips to the concourse.

True story. Nyquist would be safely in GR.

I have no skill with graphics but here is an actual, real, genuine, made-up news article: Detroit (LP)-- Due to a series of injuries, accidents, and incidents, the Red Wings find themselves with only six players for tonight's game against the Ducks of Anaheim. In addition to the players out with injuries (Helm-back, Zetterberg-back, Mrazek-backup, DeKeyeser-shoulder, Samuelsson-face, Bertuzzi-teeth replacement, Abdelkader-didn't see the car this time, Ericsson-new baby, Alfredsson-vasectomy [and this time it'll work,RIGHT BIBI!], Weiss-shoulder or whatever, Datsyuk-back from having to shoulder the team, Howard-knee) several players have encountered freak incidents that will cause them to miss tonight's game. Daniel Cleary is out after getting lost returning from the dentist. He called Head Coach Mike Babcock earlier this morning assuring him that he would be there for the morning skate. "It's easy." He said. "I just go to the same street as the captain's jersey number, and then turn at the street with my jersey number. I've been doing it for years." Brenden Smith and Reiley Sheahan did not report for practice although a bail-bondsman is quoted as saying that they are game-time decisions. Jurco, Nyquist, Tatar, and Lashoff are grounded after sneaking out of the house past their curfew. Their mommies said that they knew the consequences and maybe now they'll think twice about running about on a game night. Several other team members were reportedly rocking back and forth in their locker stalls, unable to bring themselves to dress. Tonight's line-up consists of Miller-Andersson-Eaves Kronwall-Quincey Gustavsson

In the long run, it's better that Lucic didn't fight the guy, but in the short term that guy's going to be telling everyone that comes for dinner throughout the holidays, "Oh yeah, Lucic was scared of me. He wouldn't fight." until his mom gets sick of hearing it and sends him downstairs to his room.

No. We will need Sammy when the GR kids are added to the LTIR group.

I doubt I'd have a lovely audience. I've been going in and out of style. On the other hand, I'm guaranteed to raise a smile...

We get injured because ice is hard and slippery and the other teams are big and coming at us at fast speeds and because body parts are not 100% flexible. We need enforcers because they're fun to watch and because if someone does something to us that they shouldn't, the enforcer can give them a bad booboo back.

As I recall, we lost 10 games out of 11. We called up every defenseman we had in GR, and had to borrow Stafford from them even though he wasn't technically signed as a Wing. We went a game with: Cheli-Lilja Lebda-Quincey Meech-Stafford Then in the first period, Cheli broke his leg. Hasek (our #1) was injured, but at least Osgood was a fabulous 1a. Cleary was also injured during this time. He was a productive cog in the Red Wheel at that time. Like you said, we won the Cup. This gave us unlimited sound bites in which we could use the standard cliches involving "adversity" and other such watch words. At that time, we were fortunate enough to have won games early on so we had a bit of a cushion. Now the injury bug is kicking us earlier. The last few games I've seen the effort needed, but between called-off goals and posts and head-standing goalies and just plain bad puckluck, we're not winning. Things are bound to turn around. I'll worry in April.

I hear ya, dude. My house is very 70's and I haven't had running water for 12 days. Oh, well. Tomorrow, we thaw!!!!! I guess my unpopular opinion would be that in a world where people have to walk miles for contaminated water, I'm cranky about having to be bothered to fill jugs at a convenience store? For some reason, I get all hoity-toity like I deserve better when I'm really no better than any one else in the world.

Vinyl? I've never really thought about it. Broccoli or cauliflower?

I think so, but it's been years since I was within a thousand miles of an ocean. The person below me is concerned for the Lions' chances to make the playoffs.

Keep going to the net and they'll go in. They didn't go in last night, but the snakebite has to end soon.

I'll let Jimmy answer that: http://video.redwings.nhl.com/videocenter/console?id=129624

Well, they're sending up Jurco. There go my plans for this afternoon. Guess you get to live. (just kidding of course) I'm interested to see what he can bring to the table but if I have to choose between having someone who is proven like Eaves and someone who isn't, I'd rather see Eaves when we have so many important injuries. That said, I hope Jurco makes the most of this opportunity to impress.

Garfield. Long or short hair?