Datsyerberger

Also, he'll be figuring out which of his players are MONSTERS and which ones have an active stick, then send out those which don't make said qualifications.

Believe it or not, I think he might make a decent GM. The guy DOES know his stuff. But that's not why I'd want to see him go to the Wild. I want them to take him because I'd almost consider paying him to get his annoying ******* voice and turtle head off the tube.

Mike "Doc" Emrick hat trick: 1. Nasally voice 2. Paraphernalia 3. DRRRIIIIIIIIVE!

Ideas taken from the thread in General

I would still love to keep Hossa if it somehow works out, but I do remember that we did quite fine without (and against!) him. Here's a curious question: What's more valuable, Lilja or 500k in cap space? Raffi - Lids Kronwall - Stuart Ericsson - Lebda is better than last year's cup winning Raffi - Lids Kronwall - Stuart Lilja - Lebda If you drop Lilja and keep Cheli as a #8 d-man for another year for say, 600k, this frees up 500k in cap space and allows some of the other prospects besides Ericsson to move up in a year or two. Lilja's trade value is probably at its highest right now. Dunno if that would be a Holland-esque move, though. Still, though, it would leave us around 3.7 mil to play with. Throwing in Abdelkader makes it 3.1 or so ZDH Franzen - Flip - Cleary - Helm - Maltby - Draper - Abdelkader (only a handful of games in the regular season so he doesnt lose his ability to be sent up/down for now) Raffi - Lids Kronwall - Stuart Ericsson - Lebda Meech Cheli Assuming no changes beyond that, one of Hudler or Sammy is likely gone. Do you lose Sammy for nothing and keep Hudler who's still going to be stuck largely with borederline 2nd/3rd line minutes, or do you keep Sammy and save on cap space? I've got to think hsi RH shot and the fact we can get something for Hudler is valuable. Also, Sammy = pretty clutch in playoffs, and that's gotta factor in. So let's say: ZDH Franzen - Flip - Cleary/Sammy Leino - Helm - Sammy/Cleary Maltby - Draper - Kopecky Downey (2-way) Abdelkader (up a few games at least) Raffi - Lids Kronwall - Stuart Ericsson - Lebda Meech Cheli Ozzie Howard Sammy for 1.5, Leino for 1, Kopecky for .6.. comes out to about 3.1, which fits within our target. Downey or Abdelkader get a call up the moment someone is injured to the point of IR.. remember that Meech can serve as our 13th forward, so at least 1 forward and 1 dman can be injured before a call up becomes a necessity. Compare that to last years cup winning line up: ZDH Franzen - Flip - Sammy Hudler - Draper - Cleary Maltby - Helm - Drake Raffi - Lids Kronwall - Stuart Any 2 of: Lilja/Lebda/Cheli Ozzie Hasek Leino = Hudler? Hard to tell at this point, but from what I can tell we've got a Hudler with a larger frame and better boardwork. Cleary now = better than Cleary then Flip = improved Franzen = improved (and he was good then!) Helm = improved Kopecky more or less = Drake. Less grit, more skill Ericsson > Lilja Yea, I see no reason why I couldn't live with that.

Tuukka Rask hat trick: 1. Swing stick 2. Throw stick 3. Throw milk crate Mike Milbury hat trick: 1. Awful trade 2. Throw shoe 3. TV analyst

Sergei Fedorov hat trick: 1. Goal 2. ***** about contract 3. Get moved to defense

Dr. Rahmani hat trick: 1. Dekes 2. 1 hour of filming for 5 seconds of talking 3. Hand gestures Brett Lebda hat trick: 1. Skate fast into the offensive zone 2. Skate quickly back into the defensive zone 3. Repeat

Wait wut. Besides Toews and Sammy, who got the nod over Ozzie?

LGW.com hat trick (regular season): 1. Goalie thread 2. Enforcer thread 3. X player is lazy and he sucks thread LGW.com hat trick (playoffs): 1. Osgood rocks thread 2. X player is awesome and he rocks thread 3. Bawww refs bawww

Haha, so true.

Sammy has a lot of possibilities, really. Another: 1. All SOGs hit opposing goalie's logo 2. Assassinate opposing d-man's shins 3. Puss out of anything physical

A little. How was 1961 again?

Kipper's in community college. Luongo is still working on his G.E.D.

A friend of mine recently called the Red Wings "softer than a flaccid penis". I have to admit, I laughed at the time, and moreso now that they've been quite physical enough in the playoffs.

Considering we hear this every @$@#%ing game night, including by the occasional ignoramous among our own fans, tell us something we don't know.

Have you actually been watching the playoffs? Carolina's defense has been solid, both the Pens and the Canes have very underrated team defense. A good half of Ozzie's saves have been against odd man situations, quality scoring chances, screened shots from the slot, and mad scrambles in front of the net. In my opinion, he's had the most impressive glove hand in the playoffs thus far.

Fleury? The Fleury who's .902 SV% and 2.7 or so GAA as compared to Ozzie's .925 and 2.04? While facing less shots per game? (28.4 as opposed to Ozzie's 28.7) The guy who faceplanted at the beginning of the SCF last year and potted a Wings goal with his ass? You're kidding, right? Overrated because he plays with the NHL's bukkake duo. He's young and inconsistent still. And Bulin? If he's lucky, the Wings shooting gallery will push his SV% to .900 or over.

The last Conn Smythe winning goalie, Ward, posted: .920 SV% 2.14 GAA 2 Shutouts 15-8 record While facing 25.3 shots a game. Last year, Ozzie posted: .930 SV% 1.55 GAA 3 SO 14-4 record But only faced 22.6 shots a game, so you have to think that factored in along with Zetterberg's excellent play in Zetterberg taking the Smythe. That, and the media is a downer on Ozzie. This year so far, Ozzie has: .925 SV% 2.04 GAA 1 SO 10-3 record While facing 28 or so shots a game. Thus far, better than Ward's Conn Smythe performance. And anyone who's watched the games know Osgood is having to make some quality stops, not just garbage. Thus far, my order: Osgood - Keeping the Wings at around 2 GA when the rest of them are slacking. Franzen - 18 points/13 games. 9 of them goals. Lidstrom - 12 points/13 games. Shutting people the f*** down (space) Cleary - Playoff +/- leader, working his ass off and generating offense. (space) Whoever else Right now, Ward is holding at: .926 SV% 2.28 GAA 2 SO 8-7 record 31 shots/game If it ends up Wings - Canes for the SCF, you've got to think there's a Conn Smythe goaltender battle in that matchup.

I kept calling him Abkadoodle earlier when I couldn't remember his name in full.

Heh, that one is awesome for anyone that's a Helm fan.

Nah.. with the Ducks, its just a couple ****** canoe players I hate: Pronger, Perry, you know. With the Avs, I hated everything about that team and its pitiful existence which wasn't named Joe Sakic.

Well, I guess that Brodeur guy sucks a giant dong then, because (not counting this year's playoffs, which hurt Brodeur): Brodeur NJ Devils playoff SV%: .919 Osgood Det Red Wings playoff SV&: .920 Brodeur NJ Devils playoff GAA: 1.96 Osgood Det Red Wings playoff GAA: 2.00 Brodeur NJ Devils playoff win %: 55.7% Osgood Det Red Wings playoff win %: 65.6% While Brodeur has faced less shots per game on average.

This is all I can think of whenever I see/hear that guy's name: Haaaav... LAAAaaAaaaat!