megaelixir

If this classroom were a ******, it would be incredibly clean, because there are so many douches in here.

A unionized public employee, a teabagger, and a CEO are sitting at a table. In the middle of the table there is a plate with a dozen cookies on it. The CEO reaches across and takes 11 cookies, looks at the teabagger and says, "Look out for that union guy -- he wants a piece ...of your cookie."

I haven't counted calories all week, and I've only eaten carryout crap from Hamtramck restaurants, yet somehow I've lost 2.5 pounds since weigh-in on Monday. Hopefully I'll keep it off until this upcoming Monday so it'll be "official".

Jonathon Jones has that "in sickness and in health" part DOWN. <3

You're never too sick to use a coaster.

The three people in front of me all brought their freaking breakfast to class. Come on, now.

Lily's so freaking smart it blows my mind. She knows over half the alphabet, numbers up to ten, several colors, several us states (by shape), has a vocabulary of easily 250 words, and has the best sense of humor I've ever seen in a toddler. Haha, her new thing that she likes to say is "duuuuuude!".

Hurley is the worst cat in the freaking universe and I hate her.

Hungry Girl "Hacked N Whacked BLT Salad" w/Smart Bacon is so freaking delicious.

Hah. I tried to put my ring on this morning and my finger was like "lol no". I hope the swelling goes down soon...

Um, so I think I broke my finger a couple of hours ago, and didn't realize it until now. I just randomly looked down at it, and it's all bruised and swollen. It hurt a little earlier, but I didn't think anything of it doesn't hurt at all right now, it's not numb or anything either. Just gross looking. Wtf.

I just made a killing selling my Ke$ha tickets on Stubhub. Sorry to anyone who wanted them, but I was able to sell them there for 90 dollars a pop!

Tomorrow I have a consultation with a stylist who will hopefully be able to correct my stupid hair color and make it blonde and wonderful again.

Jonathon Jones , will you be my valentine?

Daaaaaaaaaamn, Arcade Fire won and my News Feed is pissed!

Thank you Grammys for reminding me I need to add this song to my "play at wedding" list. On a related note, holy s*** Mick Jaggers is now virtually indistinguishable from the "christmas is all around" guy from Love Actually.

I hate the Grammys but I can't stop watching.

I hate snow. Thus, I love rain. Bring it onnnnnnn.

Why did I dust? I'm allergic to dust. Now I feel like crap. Goodnight.

I hate my geology class with every fire that burns in my mortal soul. There is a smelly giant retarded (?) kid that doesn't have any teeth and he stinks up the whole classroom. The professor is awful, so awful. There are a few decent folks, but mostly the people in the class are just horrible. In my head they are known as "wig lady #1", "slow kid", "been to jail girl", "crazy vietnam vet guy", "wig lady #2", etc...

This game, this gaaaaaaame! It's about time we play like winners!

So, um, I registered with David's Bridal to "win a free dress", which was a giant, giant mistake. I didn't win a dress, but I did win David's Bridal calling me every two hours trying to get me to schedule an appointment. F them. I was considering scheduling an appointment there, but not anymore.

Seriously. Ke$ha tickets. Anyone want them, or know anyone who does? It's a sold out show. I'll sell 'em to you at face value.

Happy 164th birthday, Thomas Edison! I feel like we're pals since I've been to his lab so many times...

Wow. Montreal and Boston is about 10000 times more interesting than the Wings game right now.