kipwinger

I'd be sooooooo mad if someone wrecked my shop. I mean, it's not the "New Yankee Workshop" or "Monster Garage" or anything. But I still put a ton of money, time, and effort in to it. It would be a real shame if some pituitary mutant like McGrattan or Tootoo wrecked it just because they didn't learn not to hit as a child. I'd probably sue.

Hopefully this contract will help motivate Tatar as well. If Gus can cash in like this, Tatar is looking at a hefty raise if he keeps being the better player.

I think you mean, renegade hardass defenseman Kyle Quincey. Can baby-face Marchenko, or Le Francais, grow a beard like this? I don't think so. If Kyle Quincey didn't already rule too much to have a nickname, I'd call him "The Outlander". Just on the strength of that beard alone.

Buff Bagwell: Weirdly bad at wrestling, weirdly good at porn.

Pulkkinen does suck. He's got one-dimensional depth scorer written all over him. He'd be REALLY lucky to have a Mike Cammalleri type career, but he'll more realistically top out as a Michael Ryder, Brad Boyes, type guy. Trade him for Byfulgien before the rest of the league catches on to the fact that his AHL scoring won't translate into NHL success.

Indeed. It seems that saying stupid things for "publicity" is his mutant power.

And placed Damien the boa constrictor on his own chest?

I HAVE had a beer with him. He used to regularly come into the main bar I frequented in college. You'd be disappointed. He's a wastoid. It would be like having drinks with Jake "The Snake" Roberts (i.e. better in theory than in fact).

Meh. Lots of druggies sucker punch other guys. Go to any pool hall in Detroit. That game winning goal in overtime was pretty awesome though.

That was the point. Green isn't a druggie piece of crap, so I don't really care if he wears 25. It's not like the guy guy typically associated with it was a class act or anything.

I wonder if Green and McCarty could have a "doin' coke and screwing up your career" competition to determine who has the right to wear the number?

We should trade him to San Jose. They've been known to do incredibly stupid things for incredibly big guys. See: the Demers for Dillon trade.

Keep the flies off...their windshields?

This guy was a second round pick. I wonder if that's because he was any good at hockey in lesser leagues, or if it's because he's a really huge guy.

How many Tootoos equal a Tangradi?

So, since this guy is big and fights, does he count more than all those smaller fighters that Holland has signed over the years?

This guy is huge AND he fights? He must be really good.

I know. The difference is sarcasm.

Imagine... Dekeyser-Byfuglien Kronwall-Green Quincey-Ericsson Marchenko/Ouellet I'd trade 3 Teemu Pulkkinen's for a defense that looked like this.

Good point. I guess I wouldn't trade Pulkkinen for Byfuglien after all.

Lol. You make the prospect of trading him sound like a personal vendetta. I'd trade him for a top pair, 50 point, right shooting defenseman. I've advocated as much. If that's "no real reason" to trade him, then I don't mind being unreasonable.

Who wants to dump Pulkkinen for no real reason?

I don't want to go through them all, so I'll respond to just a couple of your assessments. I disagree that Ottawa is better. They lucked their way into the playoffs, on the back of an insane goalie performance, after sucking all year. Hammond falls back to earth and the Sens go back to the cellar next season. Panthers and Blue Jackets BOTH make the playoffs next season. Boston and Pittsburgh drop out.

There are a number of different scouting reports, talent analyses, and game recaps which all explicitly call his skating into question. He was able to produce a lot in the AHL, despite of his slowness, because it's a much slower league. The NHL isn't. Unless he's a can't miss top line player, I'd ALWAYS trade an unproven third line winger with question marks in his game for something better. Pulkkinen, 2016 2st, and Kindl/Smith (or something comparable) to Winnipeg for Dustin Byfuglien. Upgrade the 2nd to a 1st if completely necessary.

I've watched him play. He's slow, small, and a one trick pony offensively. Guys like that don't normally have much success in the NHL. He's Jiri Hudler without the versatility. And it's a miracle that Hudler is as good as he is, I'm betting lightening doesn't strike twice.