kipwinger

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Everything posted by kipwinger

  1. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    How edgy. I bet you crack all the other regulars up when you're bellied up to the bar drinking away what's left of your testosterone.
  2. That picture of Bertuzzi is absolutely the g*yest thing I've ever seen. He's SUUUUUUCH a twink lol. Hip thrust out, no body hair, skin tight shorts. GUARANTEED he's wearing panties. Nice of that young lady to be his beard tho. Gotta keep up appearances.
  3. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    Italians are notably lithe people. I'm sure you bonded over your heterosexuality...and all the carbohydrates.
  4. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    So you say. You're famous around here for your honesty. Make sure you cuddle that sweat box extra close tonight to assuage your guilt.
  5. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    Sure you would pal. Did you make sure she was in the kitchen rummaging around in the refrigerator before you feverishly typed that?
  6. According to multiversal theory somewhere there's a universe where your takes aren't pathetic, Tyler Bertuzzi is still on the team, and he's also into chicks. It's just not this one.
  7. Too bad Pius Suter isn't a half-step faster. He's a super heady player.
  8. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    No doubt she'll be a real moose. Just like all the other heteros out there who have given up on themselves.
  9. Let me dumb it down for you. SY: I'm not going to trade Bertuzzi Larkin: I'm not signing an extension *One Week Later* SY: Looks like I'm trading Bertuzzi after all Larkin: Where do I sign boss? Robert Hagg and Gustav Lindstrom should NOT be in the NHL. Ugh.
  10. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    Ironically messing around with not-very-hot women makes Zadina sound MORE straight, not less. All you straight guys have sweaty, hoggish, wives.
  11. What else was he supposed to say "F*ck that loser"? Here's the timeline. We're in a playoff spot, SY says Bert is off the block, crickets from Larkin. We lose twice to the Sens, SY decides to sell, Bert's an obvious trade piece, Larkin signs, Bert kicks rocks. Thems the facts.
  12. Yeah, I'm sure SY didn't bother talking to his Captain about the direction of the team before he signed. Good thinking.
  13. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    Hate to break it to you pal, but Bertuzzi is a liberal. Guaranteed.
  14. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    Tell me more about the sexual preferences of castrates? You seemed to know a lot about it a minute ago. The more I empathize the more I'll understand why Tyler Bertuzzi is such a b*tch.
  15. Fact: Dylan Larkin signed an extension within 24 hrs of it becoming obvious that Bertuzzi would be moved.
  16. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    So Bertuzzi's biggest fanboy also happens to be a treasure trove of eunuch trivia? Tucker Carlson would say this isn't a coincidence.
  17. SY says Bert is off the trade block = Larkin doesn't sign. SY secretly tells Larkin that Bert is about to be traded = Larkin signs within a day of the trade. Not a coincidence.
  18. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    I think one generally leads to the other but you're the expert it seems.
  19. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    One step above asexual is same-sexual. Everyone knows that. Especially your boy. Wait...you thought his "just the tip" tshirt was a promise? Lol. It was a request bud.
  20. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    Even if I only banged one chick in my life pal. Your boy's 1 step above a eunuch.
  21. If anything Larkin is probably happy to have that candyass off his line. I doubt he was too thrilled going into battle each night flanked by a dude who's afraid of needles and spends 75% of the season in the trainers' room. Edit: Sweet goal by Jake the Snake. Walman = ALL MAN
  22. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    Which means I f*ck 100% more women than Bert does.
  23. He said the same thing about Mantha. Who cares?
  24. kipwinger

    2023 Trade Deadline Thread

    It's ironic because Bertuzzi was definitely the g*yest member of this team. You'd think I'd be more into him.
  25. I've heard Vancouver fans are really unimpressed with that Filip Hronek guy. Maybe he's available?