RedWingAbner

I wonder, with Bettman on the air between periods, who is giving Crosby his 1st INT BJ.

Few things here: #1. Niklas Kronwall-- does he realize that he's not playing in a rec league? #2. Can we please get Darren Helm out there on Matt Cooke? Speaking of Cooke, can we please see an explanation as to why he gets to do whatever the f**k he wants?

Guys, After thinking it over and discussing things with my wife, I have decided to field an Eastern Conference team next year. If you have never played before or are lacking in talent, that's ok. Anyone interested in going to the Cup Finals? I think our only competition would be Alexander Ovechkin. Who wants in? What position will you play? -Redwingabner, Defence, Eastern Conference Team *BONUS* If any of you are Canadian and have a problem growing facial hair, combined with minimalist talent and a bitchy attitude, please PM me. The NHL marketing machine would like to make you the face of the NHL.

I am all for Vladifan as Evgeni Malkin's replacement; and overall, everyone that wants one has a spot on this team. Let's spread the word on our "fan education" camps. Here, people like Pierre McGuire, Columbus Blue Jackets announcers, and Pittsburgh Penguins fans will treat those new to hockey to "The NHL rule book: How to act like you know something by applying rules selectively." At the end of each session, our new fans will get the opportunity for "blobbing" into the lake. Thanks go out to Marc-Andre Fluery for volunteering to be the blob--he's used to things bouncing off him and going in. These camps will also serve as nickname contests; suggestions may also be posted below. For example: Havana Bananas. "BA, NA-NA, Hey Hey Hey, Yellow Fruit." (Our Chant)

Good! Things are starting to shape up. I have started a home-city search for us. My top spots were Hamilton, ON; Quebec City, QUE; and Toronto, ON. However, in the Gary Bettman NHL, the league submitted his list of preferred sites for us, and we must decide on one of the following: Birmingham, Alabama Key West, Florida Virginia Beach, Virginia San Juan, Puerto Rico Havana, Cuba Roster Update: Goalies: McCartyfanforlife Defense: RedWingAbner Forwards: CdnWingfanEh DangleD13 Crotter99 Systemfel Bannedforlife (Possible Swingman?) Deeznutz Casey Klunzo (Another possible swingman?) Decoy Jones #87: Lovin Jiri Fischer

I was under the impression that this was a secondary responsibility of an usher or something, considering the lack of new material since, oh, 1991. And for those of you who disagree and call foul on my post, I hear the Dragnet theme.

Crosby's new, more reflective jersey

double post, please delete Crosby.bmp

Kramer reacts to Tyler Kennedy: Kramer reacts to Tyler Kennedy

It's been said, but I just like pointing out that French is not a race. I like how the Pittsburgh board is making fun of Detroit for not making cars/being unemployed. Do they realize that, essentially, Detroit drove their industry (no pun intended) and without us, there would be no Pittsburgh? What exactly is the appeal of Pittsburgh, anyway? People rip Detroit, but Jesus, why would anyone want to live in a s**t state like Pennsylvania? I mean, if Joe Biden's family said that the "land of dreams" was Delaware, what does that say for PA?

As a resident of Tampa, I can assure you that some fans do-- they are called Rays fans. I follow the Rays (as a good transplant does) and try to give long-time sports fan advice to their fans. It's amazing, but they celebrate the American League Championship like the World Series is a non-event. Hell, they gave out replica AL championship rings!

Oh, ok. In that case, you are absolutely right. Wait. Hossa is on the phone with me right now. He says "I hate Jake Ryan, tell that kid I don't want him to cheer for me." So there ya go.

Wrong. Nicklas Lidstrom is the highest paid on the Wings. Go to bed. There is no way you can skip sleep before school, based on the evidence I've seen.

In the future, please ask your mom and dad before posting. People see things like this and say, "Jesus, Wings fans don't know anything about hockey." No 1--Maltby has been in the league longer than Hossa. So no. No 2--Maltby has been on the Wings for longer than Hossa has been in the league. So no. No 3--Hossa was signed as a probable 1 year rental. So no No 4--Fischer gave up the number to Hatcher but then immediately took it back when Hatcher left, which wasn't originally planned to be only 1 season of service. No 5--Players don't defer numbers to better players; See: Anaheim: Rob Neidermayer (44) forced Chris Pronger to wear 25 and Todd Betuzzi to wear 4 Calgary: Rhett Warrener (44) forced Todd Bertuzzi to wear 7 (although you could debate who is better) NY Rangers: Scott Gomez (19) forced Markus Naslund to wear 91 (again, better player could be argued either way) No offense dude, but I'm just aggravated today.

As long as they get out of it without the Ducks gooning it up, I'm happy.

Anyone who says that Giguere overpads is crazy. Just look at how much net he left exposed in Hartford. I can't believe it still, but I actually got into an e-mail spat with the Ducks lady beat writer over this years ago. How anyone can look at this and say, "seems reasonable" is beyond me.

Or, it's even, considering that goal Neidermayer scored in Game 3 was only so because he did a backwards jump into Osgood.

Wings are 2-0 when I post to threads like this.

The only NHL-related conspiracy question is this: Why does the league want to turn casual fans off on national broadcasts? Mike Emrick. Seems like a nice guy, but good g-d: Shrill voice? Check Overuse of the same simplistic descriptions? Check Overuse of self-invented descriptions (waffleboarded et al)? Check Long delay between puck going in, fans going crazy, and the point at which he (shrill voice blazing) cackles "Scooooorres!"? Check

Oh Jesus, a pissing match. No dumbass, I played hockey. If you didn't pick up on it, my avatar is a logo of a team in the AIHA (Australian league) that invited me to camp (this after being out of hockey for 3 years). Unfortunately, I have a spinal condition that I discovered (oddly enough, in Los Angeles) that ended my pro career. I played on or with the following injuries: Broken wrist Surgically re-attached lip (plastic surgery, to be precise, as my lip was dangling off my face) Broken big toe Pinched nerve in my back 5 Concussions (career, not at once) I played hockey. I was a dirty player at times, and that was a dirty hit. Go back to pretending you know what you are talking about. I'm sure that you have some story about how you were awesome on the LA Junior Kings. I had 12 college scholarship offers but had to retire due to my injury.

It just gets dumber and dumber with you. So, when Lauren flopped after Holmstrom skated near him, he's obviously not following your "rules." If a hit is dirty and to your head, you will fall and bleed. Was Kris Draper supposed to hop up after his face was demolished? Oh yeah....you probably don't get that reference because hockey started in 2007, right? The bigger problem than the NHL expanding into markets like ANA is not that fans are not interested, it's that they are retarded. In order to get an expansion franchise, you should have to provide a list of season ticket holders that could pass a general rules test. Massive Fail-- Just like your namesake, you missed an open net.

I know it doesn't matter to you, and you won't believe it-- but seriously, this is why people think Americans are so f***ing stupid. What a bunch of morons.

SJ was outplayed, but that's the point. Anaheim is not "that good," the Sharks choked. A superior, more talented team lost to a decent, but not better talent-wise, team.

DET/ANA 4-0 VAN/CHI 4-2 BOS/CAR 4-3 WAS/PIT 4-0

He is exactly right. Would your opinions suddenly become invalid if the Wings didn't make the playoffs? Give the guy a break. He likes Mike Ribeiro, there's obviously something a little off. J/K.