Jersey Wing

Bettman Not Sure How Red Wings are Cheating (AP) -- NEW YORK May 23, 2013 National Hockey League Commissioner Gary Bettman said he was not sure how the Detroit Red Wings are cheating in leading the favored Chicago Blackhawks 3-1 in the Western Conference Semifinals. "I'm not sure how it's being done but I know the outcomes have been wrong thus far for the most part, and don't appear in any of my directives on the playoffs."

Answer me this Chicago Tribune, was this a defective hammer? Help me out.

Toews with the NATURAL HAT TRICK of penalties!!! Hats off to you young man!

There is one variable the esteemed writer for the most important paper ever, the Chicago Tribune, forgot to present us with in his infamous hammer and nail parable. What if, and I'm just spitballing this, what if the hammer is in fact a BALL PEEN HAMMER? That DOES change things.

Sure the Hawks goal should have counted. But after watching Homer get good goals waved off for 15 years I'm not losing sleep over the hysterical Hawk babies.

The Red Wings are taking up so much space in the Hawks' heads they should be paying rent.

BRING CAB FARE or list Detroit cab rates on a placard. You'll be too cool for school.

I beg any of you lucky enough to be going to the Cathedral of Hockey® for tonight's game to never let the Blackhawks hear. Anything. All night. From warm ups to however many overtimes it may take tonight is YOUR night. Raucous is a word thrown around a lot. "This crowd at the Shark tank is raucous tonight," like that's even a real sentence. Yes, the night the Shark Tank or Vancouver or Eric Cartman presents Kingsland is raucous unicorns will be keeping time in the penalty boxes. Now Joe Louis Arena is known throughout the lands as a loud building. It needs to be louder tonight. All night. Raucous. Bring it. Turn it up to 11. All in. No passengers. All Points Bulletin: If you see Patrick Kane wandering around the streets of Detroit after the game or the next couple days, get a drink in his hands STAT!! Keep 'em coming. Send me the bill. I'll cover it. Get him going and separate him from other Blackhawks if you can. Wait until he's good and drunk until you whip out the cell phone cameras, we don't want to scare him. GO WINGS!!!

OH NOES! Another Chicago Tribune writer needs his bottle and a nap. The headline? Wings play extra tough with Toews Awwwwww, they're playing hockey against us. That's not fair. We're the #1 seed and we've spent months calling this team invincible. We should get every call in every game. It worked for Jordan. HEY LEAGUE, stop letting them check our players. The writer gives Toews a chance to fill his diaper: "It's just tough to understand sometimes why we get roughing penalties and hooking penalties, whatever it is, and it doesn't go both ways," Toews said. "If that's the way it's going to be, well, we need to understand that and play more physical and be tougher on them. We'll know that going into the next one. http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/hockey/blackhawks/ct-spt-0519-side-blackhawks-red-wings-chicago-20130519,0,4395897.story

WHY NOT US!?!?

I'd like to point out to the good people at the Chicago Tribune that while the hammer and nail might not have much of a rivalry the Red Wings and Blackhawks do it would appear. Also of note, if the person wielding the hammer loses concentration even but a little, they are liable to smack the holy hell out of a finger or thumb.

I forget, what's the name of the Blackhawks mascot? Big Chief EmptySeats?

Every time I see or read an article like this it tells me two things. 1) The writer is really insecure about the team's place in history and 2) 11> 4

If you want the tin-foil hats you have to jump into this Sharks thread starting about the first of the goals in 22 seconds last night: http://hfboards.hockeysfuture.com/showthread.php?t=1431097&page=20

Hey Hawks fans: Wayne Messmer SUCKS!

Never trust a city that can be outwitted by, and burned down by a cow. Just sayin'

Oh yeah and where's that "Do Leafs fans deserve better' thread that was floating around here during the lockout? It could be useful tonight. They have closed the bridges in Toronto.

As bad as this loss was for Toronto, and it was horrible, they have to put it behind them and get ready for game 8.

WHY NOT US?!

Not a lot to complain about, a rarity in a game 7. I thought that Colaiacovo played a very strong game.

Game of Thrones at 9 and the Wings Game 7 at 10. A perfect lead-in because somebody's dying! Hopefully the Wings will go all Sandor Clegane on the Ducks