Troy McClure

You're not?

It's Febuary 25th, 2024, in Chicago. Chris Chelios proudly walks onto the ice of the United Center. It's jersey retirement night. The lights dim, the crowd cheers, and that red #7 jersey begins to unfold. But wait... that 7 looks more like a 2... there must be some mistake, the sweater going up says #24. Before anyone can react Chelsea Dagger suddenly BOOMS over the loud speakers. DA DUH DUH DUH DA DUH. BY GAWDDD THATS PATRICKS KANES MUSIC! Rushing on to the ice it's Patrick Kane with tag team partner Alex Debrincat hot on his heels. By now its clear its not a hawks jersey hanging, but a wings #24. The entire setup was a trap. Chelly turns on the home team, he and Kaner each grabbing one of Bedards shoulders and double suplexing into his fellow hawks teammates who tumble and sprawl on to the ice. By now Debrincat has returned with a ladder from under the ice. Setting it up for Chelly to climb and retreive his jersey. But wait... A rogue beer can flys out from the crowd towards the owners box. It's a Budweiser and its caught by...COREY PERRY?? Perry downs it like popeye and proceeds to viscously assault Kyle Davidson with a trash can. Oh the humanity.

Whatre the lines? KahhhhhHHHHHHNNNNNNN

We are very likely rapidly approaching our final chance to kick trade tires with Kenny. Whom can we get? What would we like?

I dont care that your wife is a 10 year old boy named George

Want what?

Then they put her back on the jumbotron and everyone cheered. Then they switcjed to an opposing fan and everyone booed. Then they put her back on and everyone cheered. Back n forth. Sensational.

Abby was yoked

Suh is considering signing with a contender...

In the last 15 to 10 minutes of the 3rd behind teams are going to start coming at you with 4 man rushes and aggressive pinches. Good teams know how to exploit this. We do not. We just get hemmed in further. If Buffalo was smart they would have played that way the entire game and buried us.

They need a defensfive beast like chia to pair him with

I got her autograph

Riveting Colts fans

Was waiting for this. And now the thread can die.

Does this mean I have to be nice to Derek? Imagine if Kaner actually works out for a few seasons, we add a still okay stamkos, and the D slowly leaks in guys like Eddogg