Dabura

Mom Dach: 7/10 i luv u man

Draft experts eternally BTFO.

Thank you, Chicago. Thank you for the wonderful chaos you have just unleashed.

Hawks select Dach!

Someone give these assholes scooters or something, they walk so slow.

OK, now the draft really begins. 5/10. She lacks pizzazz.

The man can do no wrong, apparently.

Very real BUST potential in this draft class, I'm here to tell you.

No, that would be his ENORMOUS EGO.

Mom Hughes: 8/10

Hughes only put up 228 points with the USDP. Overrated af.

Devils select Philip Broberg 1st overall, as expected.

I'd forgotten Vancouver even has an NHL franchise, so this is all pretty crazy for me right now. Lots of emotions. Damn, son. They called Bettman's bluff. He thought they wouldn't boo with the Sedins on stage. He was wrong.

Gary Bettman is my spirit animal.

We draftin' T H I R S T .

Carolina seems like a good fit.

Yeah, I'm not really interested in Faulk. Doesn't seem to be a fit for us right now, unless perhaps Yzerman's feeling emboldened by what transpired in the playoffs and is thinking this team is only a couple of good-not-great players away from a playoff berth. Even then tho, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be the most interested team. It'd probably be, like, an Edmonton or Toronto or Winnipeg. I do think Faulk could give us a decent 2-4 on the blue line, like I said above. But that's speaking more to a "We appear to finally have a really good young point-producing defenseman in Hronek, now maybe we can start building an actual NHL-caliber defense" line of thinking.

Faulk, Green, Hronek might actually be a halfway decent three quarters of a top four. (Missing the 1D, of course.)

Good afternon, mofos. I'm pumped for tonight. I feel zero stress. There is only HYPE!

I still have Chicago taking Cozens, if only because I want to be contrarian.

I haven't listened and I don't want to because I hate listening to Canadian talking heads speak. But some people are saying this guy is a total dingus and I'm inclined to believe them, which in turn makes me disinclined to believe this guy. Maybe Yzerman is in fact looking to trade down, but I'm not going to assume it's the case until I hear it from a couple of truly credible sources.