Dabura

Good on Larry for not naming his sources. Because that would be unprofessional.

Oh, hey, It's Larry Brooks. hoo boy, scoop of the century hoo boy, we're doomed hoo boy, this is the worst day of my life hoo boy, tell me more, larry hoo boy, might as well give the rangers the cup right now

Red Wings agree to terms with MSU forward Taro Hirose on entry-level deal [DetroitRedWings] He's from Calgary. Get rekt, Flames!

Clayton Keller 3.0. Hard pass.

¡HYPE! ¡LGRW!

LET'S GO! I like how we've used, like, 30 emergency call-ups and people are still mad at the Wings for not tanking hard enough. Holland and Blashill have been trying their hardest to crash this plane into the ocean but the MLB simply refused to play ball. Exactly. That's the nightmare scenario. The most devastating karmic gut punch the hockey gods have in their arsenal.

i got you dragon ballz right here buddy

Clayton Keller 2.0. Hard pass.

Thoughts: Larkin took a puck to the ankle and was clearly in a lot of pain. Should probably hold him out of Saturday's game, just to be safe. Can't be too careful with ankles. Bertuzzi took a high-stick to the face and he was bleeding. Should probably hold him out of Saturday's game, just to be safe. Can't be too careful with head trauma. Athanasiou took a selfish penalty that cost us. Blashill needs to healthy-scratch him on Saturday to make sure he understands that such selfishness will not be tolerated. Jimmy had a couple nice saves but he was clearly not quite right tonight. I think he's exhausted. Should probably start Fulcher on Saturday.

Wings lose. Blow it up.

Holy crap, the Sabres might actually win a game tonight. NJ is useless.

It's starting to sink in that we're probably not going to make the playoffs.

PP

AA with a ten-minute misconduct for unsportsmanlik conduct. Not sure what happened. Clearly he is #TeamTank. Pens score on the PP. 4-1.

PK

Hornqvist just got the Darren Helm Special.

Zach knows what's up:

End of 2nd. Wings trail 1-3. The big difference between these two teams through 40 minutes is Pittsburgh's passes connect 90% of the time and ours connect 45% of the time. We're sloppy under duress, the Penguins less so. So it's a tug of war for time and space and the Pens are winning it.

The Penguins are playing so hard for this win because they are true bros who go above and beyond to do right by their friends. They are saving us from ourselves.

Pens score. 1-3. Cancel the Cup parade, folks.

Malkin and Letang back in the lineup helps. I dunno if I've ever seen a simultaneous high-sticking like that. PP Wait no I lied. They each get 4 minutes.

I want to care, but I can't. Everyone in the world knows we're winning our game against them. Because Buffalo.

Same way on the broadcast. Not a lot of time or room out there to make plays.

Good sustained o-zone pressure there. First we've had in this game.

you sonsabitch