Dabura

HYPE! LGRW!

[wakes up] [definitely not hung over] [checks nhl.com for score, half-asleep] "Oh, hey, we got shut out by the frking Sharks, what a surprise. At least we limited them to only 2 goals. Meh." [throws phone, goes back to bed]

HYPE! L G R W

Happy New Year('s Eve), fam! Be safe! I'll try to pop in if possible. LGRW!

The sharkings will continue until morale improves!

I guess it's fitting that we're closing out this decade against the Sharks. They knocked us out of the playoffs in 2010 and 2011, and I suppose it's fair to say those two disappointing exits were sort of (the beginning of) the end of that Cup window. We were rivals at the top and now we're rivals at the bottom... https://www.nhl.com/standings/2019/league Hmmm. Look at that. Wings, Devils, Sharks, Kings. All in the basement. Sharks embarrassed us in '94. Devils embarrassed us in '95. Kings embarrassed us in '01. Silver lining? '94 and '95 sucked, but we won back-to-back Cups shortly thereafter. '01 sucked, but we won the Cup in '02. Maybe good things are coming our way in the '20s. I dunno. (This has been Attempting to Read the Machinery of the Universe with Dabura. Made possible by viewers like you.)

lmaooo are we sure the players don't post on LGW.com??? Either way, it comforts me to know they're as dead on the inside as I am.

This is how we know he isn't ready to wear the C. A wiser man would understand that if you're the perceived leader of a dogs*** team and there's a chance you could go to the All-Star game and you don't want any part of it and someone asks you about it on the record, the absolute last thing you should say is, "Please don't vote for me." Other teams' fans will now try to ruin his weekend, as will generally unhappy Wings fans. People before he told people to not vote for him: People after he told people to not vote for him: Total rookie movie. Sad! (Unless he actually does want to be part of All-Star Weekend, in which case he's a genius and he should be wearing the C.)

Oh, I fully believe he has the requisite cojones -- and then some. heck u, sword truther

Every team except the Wings should be represented this year. I'm not even being snarky.

I'm resorting to "your mom" retorts as an artistic expression of my slide into abject apathy re: all things Red Wings.

yo momma "I wouldn't be too surprised if it happened," basically. So..."more than remote"...I guess...?

(This, of course, largely hinges on who we get with our 2020 1st.)

TBH, I think there's a not-entirely-remote chance that we package him away for a good young left-shot defenseman like Hanifin.

On most nights this season our goaltending has sucked, but tonight Bernier definitely deserved a better fate. Alas...

[fat lady sings]

In Anaheim, right? Feels like a lifetime ago.

C'mon, boys, at least get this one to OT.

If we don't allow five goals over the next five minutes, that will be progress.

At least it wasn't Kucherov or Johnson...

1-2 lmao

I will get this place nuked if it's the last thing I do.