Dabura

No question.

MANTHA!!!

Pretty much this. ...Though, leaning on the kids might actually hurt our lottery chances, compared to our current trajectory.

This team is futility incarnate. (Make me eat my words, Wings. Please?)

And the whole world has to answer right now Just to tell you once again.. (Shamone)

Can his daughter do this???

YOU'RE THE #1 COP ON THE FORCE, BOBROVSKY WERENSKI BOBRENSKI

WOOO!!! Someone .gif Coreau's reaction to that game-winning save plz.

By the end of the season, our power play will have cost us approximately 40 points in the standings.

Howard was doing everything in his power to deprive us of Nolan Patrick. He had to be dealt with.

And you will known my name is Coreau when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

I like to piss and moan about the Wings, but if I remove my tongue from my cheek for a moment, then, yeah, I mostly agree with this. "The Lidstrom Era" was a perfect storm of awesomeness, the likes of which the hockey world will never see again. That the Wings would one day end up in the basement has long been an inevitability. There's room for criticism, though.

Coreau.

Someone call John Wick.

Savage.

This team can't possibly be this bad. No team can be this bad. Blashill needs to go. I'm sorry, it's time.

Howard's stats are so good because our defense is so good. It's science.

Yeah, I think their coolant system was busted. Which, I dunno, I'm not sure that should get them off the hook. Thing is, there were complaints about the ice during the morning skate.

Clearly The Hockey Gods do not like Nick Jensen. The planets finally align for his NHL debut and the game is cancelled because the Hurricanes can't keep their ice frozen. The Hurricanes should be forced to forfeit two points. Actually, it should be two points for the game itself and an additional two points for being the Hurricanes. (See: Evil Nemesis Karmanos, The Temptation of Fedorov, Why the Actual S*** Is There an NHL Franchise in Raleigh?, Don Waddell, #BringBackTheWhale, Your Logo Is Water Spinning in a Toilet Bowl, Your Old Jerseys Had Character and Were Genuinely Pretty Cool So of Course You Went and Changed Them to Uninspired Red Wings Knockoffs, You Gave the Penguins Jim Rutherford and So You're Basically Responsible for the Penguins Winning the Cup Last Season and I Still Haven't Gotten Over 2009 and I Never Will, etc.)

Something I've been musing about: Say you put young Datsyuk and young Zetterberg on this season's Wings, and say you put 2016's Larkin and Mantha and Athanasiou on one of those mid-2000s Wings teams. (So, the mid-2000 team would have Larkin and Mantha and Athanasiou instead of young Datsyuk and young Zetterberg, and this season's team would have young Datsyuk and young Zetterberg instead of Larkin, Mantha, and Athanasiou.) Would Larkin, Mantha, and Athanasiou (or any one or two of them) look like much better players? Would they be putting up more points? Would Datsyuk and Zetterberg look like lesser players? Would we be saying what most people are saying about Larkin, Mantha, Athanasiou -- specifically, that "They're good, but they probably won't ever be truly elite players"? Would playing on middling teams possibly prevent Datsyuk and Zetterberg from reaching the heights that they did ultimately reach? I guess what I'm getting at is the notion that players don't exist, perform, develop in a vacuum. That the team(s) you play for and the talent you're surrounded by matters. So, like, I believe Larkin, Mantha, and Athanasiou all have the potential to be elite NHLers, but if the Wings are an overall crappy team for the next 3-5+ years, it's possible that that reality might prevent them from reaching those heights. (Or, maybe they're simply not that good.) I suppose that's the thing about truly special, can't-miss lottery pick kids like Ovechkin and Crosby and Malkin and Toews and Kane and Stamkos and Tavares and McDavid and Eichel and Matthews and Laine. Put them on any team and they're going to look phenomenal, right from the get-go. Maybe a better hypothetical: swap this season's Larkin and this season's David Pastrnak. Is Larkin -- playing alongside two great Bruins forwards -- putting up the numbers Pastrnak is putting up? Is Pastrnak -- playing on a feeble Wings team -- putting up Larkin's "disappointing" (10 goals, 2 assists) numbers? Just some food for thought.

I nominate "Terrible" Terry Tate, Office Linebacker. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tooY9nLezL0

Ended up being a really fun game and a pretty strong team performance. More of this, please. (Minus the stupid mistakes, if possible.)

We might genuinely be the worst team in the league.