DatsMyWings13 4 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 I read this and couldn't stop laughing. I don't think anyone else posted it yet as I looked before posting and couldn't find anything. Crosby's Ugly Beard There is something truly ugly about these NHL playoffs, something that has drawn a little comment here and there, inspired the occasional raised eyebrow, led to a snigger or two. It's something that, as it refuses to go away -- and in fact grows worse with each passing day -- needs to be addressed: Sidney Crosby's playoff beard. Oh, what a hideous thing, not fit for the eyes of woman or babe. This is not merely some wimpy peach fuzz of the kind that Crosby had in previous years and that afflicts so many young postseason players. No, this is a scraggly and mangy growth that poisons the man's chin, pollutes his jawbone, desecrates his upper lip. If you didn't hear, Crosby was just named by Hello Canada magazine as one of the 50 most beautiful Canadians alive. Not anymore. It is the rare man whose countenance is actually elevated by a beard -- Abe Lincoln and Santa Claus are the only two who come to mind -- but for plenty of people, and plenty of players in these NHL conference finals, the playoff beard comes off pretty cool. Blackhawks defenseman Brian Campbell may look lousy coughing up the puck in overtime, but his full Barbarosa looks good in the room. Crosby's in a league of his own in this year's postseason -- and not just because he's the best player left and is leading the league in scoring. No, when it comes to lousy beards, Crosby is peerless on the ice. He's more in Philip Seymour Hoffman territory. And maybe that's a comparison worth watching. Hoffman, his occasionally frightful facial notwithstanding, is about the best, most compelling and most versatile actor alive. Crosby is his equal on the ice. In the NHL playoffs it's not how you look, it's how you play -- a very fortunate bottom line for Sidney. Making it Cleary Assuming you're not living in Blackhawks nation, you have to love rooting for Red Wings forward Daniel Cleary. On a Detroit team populated with folks like Henrik Zetterberg, Pavel Datysuk and Nicklas Lidstrom, it was the decidedly unheralded Cleary who had the series-winning goal against Anaheim, a two-goal game against Chicago in Game 1, and who scored on a breakaway in Game 2. Okay, maybe "unheralded" is a little passé. Cleary's been part of Detroit's arsenal for four years now, and won the Cup with them a season ago. But last postseason, he produced exactly three points in 22 games. A role player on his best nights. This postseason, he's got 12 points already, securing his place on Zetterberg's line But that's hardly reason to root for him, of course. What's to root for is a player who saved his own career, who overcame his tendency for self-destruction, who got himself into shape (finally!) and found a team that was willing to believe in him. This is a guy who was just about out of hockey altogether when the lockout ended, whose once high prospects (he was a No. 13 overall draft pick) seemed doomed after years of disappointing production in Edmonton. This is a guy who has battled demons -- the DUI he reportedly got as a teenager has stuck to him like briar on corduroy pants -- and his own willful indifference. This is a guy who, for all his talent, got cut from the 1997 world junior team by now-Red Wings coach Mike Babcock. (If you don't sacrifice yourself on the ice for Babcock, you don't play, period.) And this is a guy who made the Red Wings in the fall of 2005 through a non-guaranteed tryout and has never given up his spot. Last summer, Cleary became the first man ever to bring the Stanley Cup back home to Newfoundland. Think that mattered to folks on the Rock? Newfoundland's premier, Danny Williams, went to Detroit to meet with Cleary during last year's finals. When Cleary brought Stanley home, thousands of people followed him at every stop. Cleary is 30 now, married and a father. He's matured on the ice, too, playing ever-responsible defense -- "that's the most important thing" he said after Game 2 against Chicago -- and exploiting offensive opportunities at exactly the right time. As is the Red Wings way, Cleary signed a contract well below market value last spring so that he could stay in Detroit. Of course, $14 million over five years isn't so bad. That money, security and postseason life he's now leading are all much more than Daniel Cleary ever thought he'd have. The bolded part had me cracking up. I for one don't hate on Crosby but his beard is a joke! The rest of the article is about Cleary and is pretty good. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Electrophile 3,554 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 Matt needs to change the site name to Let'sGoCrosby. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
esteef 2,679 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 Hot! esteef Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Z Winged Dangler 2,082 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 that's hilarious. i personally thing it looks like he glued his grandma's pubes to his face, but that's just my opinion. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zata20 4 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 that's hilarious. i personally thing it looks like he glued his grandma's pubes to his face, but that's just my opinion. I agree with your opinion Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
amberlynn25 9 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 that's hilarious. i personally thing it looks like he glued his grandma's pubes to his face, but that's just my opinion. lol i think there is a lack of a beard there. what hes like 21-22? he has fuzz. Ive seen old women with more hair on their face then he has. seriously. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DatsMyWings13 4 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 lol i think there is a lack of a beard there. what hes like 21-22? he has fuzz. Ive seen old women with more hair on their face then he has. seriously. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
amberlynn25 9 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 glad it made some one laugh. I have good witty answers once in a while. makes me shudder thinking about it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Doc Holiday 0 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 Doesn't Crosby know you don't HAVE to grow a playoff beard? Ask Osgood. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Electrophile 3,554 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 Ozzie is a goalie, though. I'm sure it would get uncomfortable behind the mask and that's why he doesn't do it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Drake_Marcus 890 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 Matt needs to change the site name to Let'sGoCrosby. That or: Let'sGoBitch Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
servo 15 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 Hot! esteef The artist is wrong on 2 accounts here 1) It will be about 10-15 years till his beard fills in 2) the character looks more like Dennis Miller than Crosby. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Doc Holiday 0 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 Ozzie is a goalie, though. I'm sure it would get uncomfortable behind the mask and that's why he doesn't do it. Fine. Ask Steve Yzerman. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EuroTwin 240 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 His beard is one of the most terrifying things I've ever seen. I very rarely feel bad for him, but I kind of do now... someone should have told him to wait to grow a playoff beard until he knew he could not look like a guy with a kidnapping van. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grwingfan 21 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 Cindy Crosby can't grow a beard. He has a pubic hair on his face. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DatsMyWings13 4 Report post Posted May 21, 2009 :puke: I know 16 year olds who can grow a better beard. This is what he would look like if he could grow one: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jocke 53 Report post Posted May 22, 2009 If you didn't hear, Crosby was just named by Hello Canada magazine as one of the 50 most beautiful Canadians alive. Not anymore. That's so brutal Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edicius 3,269 Report post Posted May 22, 2009 His beard is one of the most terrifying things I've ever seen. I very rarely feel bad for him, but I kind of do now... someone should have told him to wait to grow a playoff beard until he knew he could not look like a guy with a kidnapping van. That's how my wife sees him. She doesn't know him as Sidney Crosby, but as "that guy who looks like a kid-toucher". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
themoose 0 Report post Posted May 22, 2009 crosbies beard looks like pubic hair he needs to just shave that off along with some of his fellow teammates Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HadThomasVokounOnFortSt 878 Report post Posted May 22, 2009 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wings_Rule_1010 4 Report post Posted May 22, 2009 It is funny, because here is this man, errr boy playing the toughest sport in the world and he grows a beard more worthy of a 17-year old. He is the poster-boy for the NHL, but can't grow a beard. Kinda funny. I guess it isn't his fault he can't grow a beard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DMAC 25 18 Report post Posted May 22, 2009 thats the worst playoff beard i've ever seen Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hillbillywingsfan 794 Report post Posted May 22, 2009 Matt needs to change the site name to Let'sGoCrosby. or letsgowah.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
reggiedunlop 0 Report post Posted May 22, 2009 you know what is spectacular? There is not ONE thread on the pens forums about players from other teams. not about their skill, not about their media coverage, not about their playoff leading performance (see crosby) and especially not about their facial hair. at last count, this forum had 1,427 threads on crosby. the obsession with sid on this forum borders on insane. but as always....... good luck against the hawks, hope to see you in the finals. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
