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Member Since 30 Jul 2003
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#2083391 Red Wings air their grievances in honor of Festivus

Posted by sputman on 23 December 2010 - 09:12 AM


The Red Wings are on the road today, playing at St. Louis, which means one thing to Chris Osgood: His toothpaste will go missing.

It has happened every trip the Wings have been on this season -- and with today being Festivus, the holiday made famous by a 1997 episode of "Seinfeld," Osgood leads the way as several Wings indulge in the traditional "Airing of Grievances."

"The guys always take my toothpaste and my hair products out of my kit I use on the road," he said. "Always. I don't know who or why, but it's annoying. They also steal my sticks off the rack all the time, the ones I've just freshly taped.

"Those would be my main grievances. That's against everyone, though, because I don't know who it is. But I have a particular one against Mike Modano because his hair is always perfect, even when it's messy. Doesn't matter if it's wet, dry, whatever -- it's perfect."

Osgood's situation in turn is the basis for Kris Draper's grievance, because "Ozzie steals my toothpaste and puts it in his kit. Happens all the time -- I buy it, he takes it."
Draper's plight isn't likely to draw much sympathy, because several teammates have him on their list.

"Well my grievance, it must be my nemesis, Drapes," Henrik Zetterberg said. "He always plays pranks and stuff on me, and yet somehow I'm always the bad guy."
Draper made Darren Helm's airing, as did Jiri Hudler, Todd Bertuzzi, Osgood, and also, "everyone."

"Huds for always telling me to slow down," Helm began. "Everybody for always telling me to slow down. Everyone for calling me 'Dumb and Dumber.' Ozzie for always having different nicknames for me every day. Drapes, same thing. Ozzie and Drapes for always ganging up on me and Abby. Bert's perfect, except he makes me get tape for him, and then he says it's 'for us' but there is no 'us,' there's just him."

Helm shares the "Dumb and Dumber" movie reference burden with Justin Abdelkader, who gets the Harry moniker to Helm's Lloyd.

"Yeah, Ozzie and Drapes, I have a grievance against them with their 'Dumb and Dumber' stuff -- they love calling us Harry and Lloyd," Abdelkader said. "Then (Pavel Datsyuk) always makes fun of me for my soccer skills, how bad they are. And (Johan) Franzen -- recently he's been calling me his kid. He thinks I'm his kid, so he'll call me kid and say I'm suppose to call him Daddy."

Brad Stuart, meanwhile, is finding it hard to put up with his locker-room neighbor, Jonathan Ericsson.

"I sit beside Johnny, and I'm not too happy with how he makes fun of me for my little superstitions, the way I tie my skates, the way I do my socks up, all those things," Stuart said. "He thinks it's funny, but it's just the way I do it."

Lastly, Bertuzzi let loose.

"Dan Cleary for feeling fantastic every day he puts on his equipment," Bertuzzi said. "Pavel Datsyuk for the sickest set of hands I've ever seen -- he doesn't even have to stickhandle, he can still have a good game. Drew Miller just for sitting next to me. Chris Osgood for just being Ozzie -- but actually thank God for Ozzie, it'd be a long year if it wasn't for Ozzie."
After tonight, the Wings get two days off for Christmas. No word on whether they gifted one another donations to the Human Fund.


#2082727 Thrashers @ Leafs

Posted by sputman on 22 December 2010 - 08:47 PM

Skates are not razor sharp.

tell that to mike modano, and richard zednik, and clint malarchuk..

#2082283 Brett Lebda to start as Winger Tonight for the Leafs

Posted by sputman on 21 December 2010 - 02:24 PM

he definitely didn't

maybe they're confusing him with meech? even then i think he only started a few games as a forward

i don't remember leb on da wing.

#2082223 Swedish star - Carl Hagelin sign with the Wings?

Posted by sputman on 21 December 2010 - 11:04 AM

of course the wings are interested. he's undersized and from sweden.

that's like saying keith tkachuk may have some interest in onion rings.

#2081668 12/19 GDT: Stars 4 at Red Wings 3 (OT)

Posted by sputman on 19 December 2010 - 07:41 PM

was tonight "sacrifice a virgin" night?

did anybody else hear those screams??

#2080017 Jiri Hudler Watch Thread

Posted by sputman on 17 December 2010 - 05:47 PM

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#2079793 Osgood to start Sunday

Posted by sputman on 17 December 2010 - 09:03 AM

that news is warm and gooey!

#2079428 please explain..

Posted by sputman on 16 December 2010 - 02:11 PM

Plus he sounds either drunk of medicated quite frequently.......they don't dog him about that, though.

poor murph.

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#2078083 Jody Shelley Suspended 2 Games

Posted by sputman on 14 December 2010 - 05:17 PM

That's some good old time hockey there :thumbup: I'd take Shelley over Hudler any day.

that's some good old time stupidity there :thumbup:

#2078080 Babcock considers having 'warm, gooey spot' for Chris Osgood

Posted by sputman on 14 December 2010 - 05:08 PM

Babcock being all business, is a good thing. Would be cool to see Ozzie win 400 at home, but it's good that Babcock sticks with what's "Best".

mike babcock has been our best acquisition in the past 10 years.

#2077586 12/13 GDT: Kings, Lots (5) at Red Wings, None (0)

Posted by sputman on 13 December 2010 - 09:48 PM

jiri BOOOOOOdler

#2076712 The 2012 Winter Classic

Posted by sputman on 12 December 2010 - 04:11 PM

What would the league do if Crosby got injured before the Winter Classic?

Spring Classic!

#2076606 The 2012 Winter Classic

Posted by sputman on 12 December 2010 - 10:04 AM

Crosby vs. AIDS

#2075285 How stupid is this KHL-team?

Posted by sputman on 10 December 2010 - 05:54 PM

so in the KHL coaches can tell their teams to do whatever they want without repercussions?

with the red and white jerseys it almost looks like "Bizarro-World" Red Wings out there.

#2074184 Mitch callahan

Posted by sputman on 08 December 2010 - 06:01 PM

i thought he had a lot more PIMdingers than that?