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The onion tackels new NHL rules

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I've always felt that football would be a lot more interesting if the guys had to wear skates. Other rules that would encourage me to watch football:

- Small land mines are placed at a few random spots on the field

- Kickers could only have one leg

- The ball was made out of...

a) Lead

b) Jello

c) Some sort of small live animal (not one that could fly, obviously), preferably one with teeth and a bad attitude toward being manhandled

- Also available on the field for whatever use came to mind...

a) Hockey sticks

b) Baseball and cricket bats

c) Anything else you could get in a good swing with - hey, they have all those pads...

- No refs

- A high wall around the field so team members could not escape

- The whole team can play. No sidelines to sit on.

- The entire field is filled with Gatorade with 5:00 to go in a tie game.

Feel free to elaborate...

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