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Bold Predicitions for the 2010-2011 Season

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- Red Wings. Stanley Cup. 2011.

- Caps lose in SCF to us

- Kings win Pacific Division, make it to conference final (but lose to us, of course). (That's not really super-bold, is it? Especially the division part.)

- Sharks squeak into playoffs as 8th seed

- Devils finish last in the league

- The Preds and Blues get into some kind of hillbilly throwdown after a night at the Nashville honkytonks and both teams are suspended for the rest of the season

- The Oilers kick ass and take names...to a point. Don't want them threatening the Wings or anything; I just feel sorry for all those people up there who have jack all to do during winter, and then their hockey team, the one thing keeping them going, comes in dead last. That's depressing.

- Everybody on the Wings stays healthy.

- Steve Yzerman finds the fountain of youth and comes back to play for the Wings for another season. He can still do the GM thing; hockey games only take up one hour of the day, after all. Beat that for bold. Oh wait, I can - Gordie Howe jumps on the bandwagon and dons the skates, too. They both have record years. Gordie knocks out Pronger's front teeth.

- And I'm stealing this one 'cause I like it: Doughty signs with the Wings in the off-season.

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Howe taking out Pronger would warm my heart.

Let's see...

Lilja returns to the Wings and has a great season.

Someone finally tells Pierre that he's creepy and needs to back off in an interview. If they say, "Quit rubbing your dick on my shorts." on live TV, I will be their fan for life unless it's Pronger or another untouchable.

Tampa wins the Cup by beating the Wings, which causes Wings fans to experience such a paradoxical situation that LGW disbands for the summer so that we can all get extensive therapy.

The Canadian government reveals the results of a super-secret DNA project from the 80's and 90's wherein they took DNA from the best to create the Ultimate Hockey Player. Excitement dies down when "Wayne" -as he is called- proves to have the hands of Bill Clement, the pugilistic skills of Wayne Gretzky, the masculinity of Pierre McGuire, the face of Mike Ricci, the speed of Derian Hatcher, and the singing talent of Darren McCarty.

Someone spells Valtteri Filppula right.

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Hudler gets 35 fighting majors and breaks the single season PIM record. Bertuzzi uses two hands when stickhandling. Derek Boogaard pounds the hell out of Crosby and Malkin at the same time, ending both of their careers. Aaron Downey makes the team and scores 50 goals. Modano becomes the first player to play with an oxygen tank. Gary Bettman officially gets engaged to Crosby. Cam Janssen wins the Rocket Richard Trophy. Wings beat Tampa in the 18th OT of Game 7 to win the Stanley Cup, once again.

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New York Rangers will finish dead last. That is all.

calgary finishes 29th.

toronto finishes 6th in the east and loses in 1st round of the playoffs, but hey, that's a start.

wings sign modano and win cup, lids wins the norris and conn smythe. then modano and lidstrom retire in the offseason. 4th best my ass!

kindl places top 3 in calder nominations on the 2nd D line.

stamkos wins the richard trophy.

agreed...Z and mule reach 40 goals and dats cracks 100 pts.

cleary gets back on track on the 3rd line with huds and modano. each pot 20 goals.

Z finally wins the selke. runner up: dats.

kovalchuk leads the KHL in points.

Gustav Nyquist leads the AHL in points.

Ferraro scores 50 with Everett.

Information is leaked...one of the Sedin's was born a female.

Turco gets owned at the Joe, Wings take central by 10 pts.

howard facepalms crosby AGAIN which starts a lengthy scoring slump for cindy.

penguins finish 9th in east and lose malkin in offseason due to cap strains and finally sign a legit winger.

NHL 11 will be fantastic.

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From the Freep-

Red Wings Hockey

Writer Says Wings Look Good, But ...

NHL.com columnist Dan Rosen featured the Red Wings last week as part of the Web site's 30-in-30 feature -- previewing the league's 30 teams in 30 days.

Here is his outlook on Detroit's 2010-11 team:

"The Red Wings know that eventually age will catch up to them, but that only holds true for a few players, such as Nick Lidstrom, Mike Modano, Brian Rafalski, Todd Bertuzzi, Kris Draper and Tomas Holmstrom. The rest are in the prime of their careers, entering their prime years or just starting to blossom.

"On paper, Detroit looks good -- really good, in fact. The Wings are deep, talented, experienced and highly potent offensively. But the question marks surrounding this team are obvious:

"Will Jimmy Howard hold up and be the goalie he was last season? Can 40-year-old future Hall of Famers Lidstrom and Modano do it again? Will Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg rebound from subpar seasons? How well will Jiri Hudler do in his comeback to the NHL after one year in the KHL?

"If Howard takes a step backward, it could be detrimental to the Wings, who retained the services of Chris Osgood as his backup. However, if coach Mike Babcock has his way, Howard won't face the same kind of pounding he did last season, because if healthy, the Wings should again be one of the league's best puck-possession teams."

Read more: Red Wings Hockey | freep.com | Detroit Free Press http://www.freep.com/article/20100815/SPORTS05/8150522/NHL-com-columnist-says-Red-Wings-look-good-but-#ixzz0wk0Ldq7a

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Sidney cries to the officials, Pronger remains a *****, Ovechkin celebrates to hard and hurts himself.

Oh and Wings sweep the Bruins for an O-6 matchup! Gary hands Cup to Lidstrom with a pissed off attitude. Lids retires. 5 goes to the rafters!

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Guest Hatethedrake!

My top 10 predictions are...

1. The Red Wings will win the Presidents Trophy and the Stanley Cup.

2. The Chicago Blackhawks and their AMAZING CORE will be eliminated in the 1st round by the Detroit Red Wings in 4 games.

3. Nicklas Lidstrom will win the Norris Trophy.

4. All 3 players on the 3rd line (Hudler, Modano and Cleary) will all score at least 20 goals.

5. Marty Turco's GAA vs the Wings will be around 537.55

6. Zetterberg and Datsyuk will both hit the 100 point mark.

7. Jimmy Howard will record 10 shutouts this season.

8. Mike Babcock will wear his McGill University tie 28 times. He will wear his custom blue shirt 82 times during the season. He gets a rate at Wal-mart.

9. Mickey Redmond and Ken Daniels will disagree on what is a penalty and what isn't a penalty at least once during each Wings game.

10. Karen Newman will still look hot as hell even in her 40s.

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Sure, why not?

- Toronto makes the playoffs, sweeping Round 1, only to get swept out in Round 2.

- Los Angeles wins the Presidents' Trophy.

- Sidney Crosby goes 20 games without a goal.

- Jarome Iginla suffers a season-ending injury less than a month into the season.

- The Kovalchuk situation proves detrimental to the Devils and they miss the playoffs by a point...to the New York Islanders.

- The first coach to be fired this season will be Joel Quenneville. Taking a note out of Lou Lamoriello's playbook, Stan Bowman becomes interim coach.

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NHL officials have to come up with a new penalty in honor of Crosby: Over-Whining.

The Blackhawks' locker room will have a piggy bank stuffed with coins. On it is written, "For little Patty Kane".

During a commercial break, "What-Whistle?"-Jackman gets taken out by Hudler as Happy leans over to re-tie his skates.

An NHL referee chokes on his whistle while trying to decide "intent" and the magnet used to remove it also pulls out the computer-chip-feed from Bettman. The game is forfeited.

Wishful predictions:

Ozzie gets real playing time.

The Hawks have such a fire sale at the end of the season that their ice is never the same.

Wings Win! Wings Win!!!

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League Prediction

-Ilya Kovalchuk has a nervous breakdown before he signs with any team causing him to lose his mind which results in him signing a 20 year 20,000 lithium tablet contract with the Happy Hill Insane Asylum floor hockey team (they play with foam sticks and nerf pucks so no one gets hurt).

-After not winning the Stanley Cup, the Olympics, the scoring race, or the points race Ovie comes back a different player. He become a straight faced Russian scoring machine plowing down anyone in his way. He also stop the excessive goal celebration. However in a game against the Penguins Crosby score a natural hat trick in the first period which push Ovie over the edge and he starts a fight with Crosby which he wins.

-A few games after the Crosby vs Ovie fight the Penguin play Detroit. Zetterberg shuts Crosby down like he usually does which frustrates Crosby. Fresh off his fight with Ovie he decides to start one with Zetterberg. During the fight Zetterberg lands a right hook to the chin of Crosby giving him a concussion. Zetterberg gets suspended for 15 games for no other reason then Bettman was so far up Crosby ass that he too suffered concussion like syndroms.

-After realizing that most of his expansion teams did not work out, his inability to make a deal with ESPN, and the face of the league (Crosby) may never play again Gary Bettman hands in his letter of resignation. For some unknown reason Jim Basillie become the new commissioner of the NHL and his first act is to move the team in terrible markets to Canada. This results in 4 new Canadian teams The Winnipeg Jets, Quebec Nordiques, The Hamilton Loonie Toonie's (cause that will be as much as the city of Hamilton will have left after the renovations of Copps), and the Toronto We Are Even Better Then The Leafs.

Detroit predictions

-By November Franzen will be on the top line with Zetterberg and Datsyuk, Hudler will be playing with Bertuzzi and Filpula. Holmstrom will play with Modano and Cleary.

-Helm, Eaves, Abdelkader will score more then Holmstrom, Modano, Cleary.

-Howard will win the Vezina Trophy.

Thats all.

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And also dealing with an off-ice transvestite hooker scandal.

Hes a multitasker what can you say? He can do a lot of things well at once <_<

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For nostalgia reasons Gary Thorne comes back to do the play by play for one game....happens to be Chicago at Detroit.

Turco gets lit up, Hawks get mad, chaos ensues...something close to the Wings/Avs brawl days. (Howard vs Turco ??? :P )

Why Gary Thorne, because he is the F-ing man.

Ahhh the 90's :D

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The Wings will win the cup and the president's trophy

Datsyuk and Zetterberg will both hit 100 points

Modano will score 20 goals and finish with 40-50pts

Franzen and Hudler will hit 70pts

Ericsson will finish with a positive +/-

Abdelkader will be in 5 fights this season

Howard will play less games this season but will continue to be a top 5 goalie in the league based on stats

Filppula will break out this season and have 50pts with around 25 goals

Modano will see around 50pts being rejuvenated on the Wings

Modano and Bertuzzi will be switched around frequently

Holmstrom will score 30 goals

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yes would love dats to get 100pts

would love to see franzen with 40 goals

huds 60 pts

flip 60pts

howard continues his good play

defense improves

pk improves

mc crimmon gone chelios in :)

kindl called up

ab fights alot

best 3rd and 4th line in the league

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