Could a morbidly obese goalie shut out an NHL team?

[edicius 3,269]

Saw this book in Barnes & Noble a while back and found this excerpt today in the WSJ. Thought it might be amusing for you guys.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1191431099...7814.html?fatty

[toby91_ca 620]

I read this last week and thought it was pretty funny.

I've heard a few people over the years ask the same type of question.

Unless you can find someone that would "literally" cover the entire net (which I don't think would be possible, a person of the size would likely be bed ridden), any space they leave open would pretty much stay open due to their inability to move.

[rick zombo 3,739]

I read this last week and thought it was pretty funny.

I've heard a few people over the years ask the same type of question.

Unless you can find someone that would "literally" cover the entire net (which I don't think would be possible, a person of the size would likely be bed ridden), any space they leave open would pretty much stay open due to their inability to move.

I was sure this thread was Sir drake's doing

[lets go pavel 2]

I was sure this thread was Sir drake's doing

no kidding ... i mean, what's to stop Chris Chelios from eating tons of Cheli's Chili every day until he completely blocks the net all by himself?

[irishtemper14+25 11]

lol i like the line about VS ruining hockey

[NeverForgetMac25 483]

I remember seeing a video that shows the actual filming that took place as a result of this book on Youtube a few months ago. I'm trying to find it but having no such luck just yet. I'll post it when I do.

[Legionnaire11 0]

Think about the pads that would be required to cover a body that size... would they even be legal pads according to NHL rules? If the rules don't permit large enough pads, it would be CRAZY for someone to get in net and face NHL shooters, they would be in for a serious amount of pain on a nightly basis.

[PenaltyShot 96 521]

The Real Kris Beech had an even more depressing comment for our new star: "You might spear him and see if chocolate came out."

I liked all of the cracks at the NHL too, like the Vs. one and saying that the NHL has more lawyers than fans. This exceprt was funny, but I gotta give him props for actually testing the theory. Did it say when was this done? Because if it was recently, I can't believe the Caps would be involved without a single mention of Ovechkin.

[daniel1 32]

We can already see what would happen in this case. Just watch Giguere (Michelin-Man) in net! With equipment his size he could survive a fall from a 20 story building. Seriously though, his upper body padding is ridiculous, he already blocks 40% more of the net than he would if we wearing regular sized equipment as opposed to the NASA space suit he dons for every game.

After posting this I did some quick research and discovered Giggy's secret is out. Giggy's "new" equipment survey

Edited December 18, 2007 by daniel1

[FedorovGurl 2]

I'm not sure about body size, but some of the egos could certaily fill the net more than once over.

[Pskov Wings Fan 71]

Just to illustrate the concept.

Beer ad featuring huge hockey goalie.

[Izzy24 44]

Now he was intrigued: "So how much weight exactly would I have to gain?"

Roughly 800 pounds.

"Um . . ."

[Mudvayneowns91 0]

no kidding ... i mean, what's to stop Chris Chelios from eating tons of Cheli's Chili every day until he completely blocks the net all by himself?

I like the new A-Team!

[Guest jaytan]

I think every young kid has asked this question at some point while watching a hockey game.

Or a sumo match.

[seeinred 1,488]

I love this line, because it's pretty much true:

In other words, had Eddie Gaedel worn a St. Louis Blues uniform rather than one of the St. Louis Browns, his heartwarming story may have instead been a cautionary tale.

[good morning 10]

I've had this thought before! With a couple hundred more pounds of fat suit he probably could have blocked the whole damn net...

That being said, if there was a team that was more concerned with winning than with their reputation, and if they could find a genetic marvel, a man pushing 2,000 pounds who's fatter than anyone the world has ever seen, who could survive making it onto the ice and withstand the pain of frozen hockey pucks being fired off his exposed body, and if that team could then win a legal battle against the NHL, and if the players didn't go on strike over the matter or beat the rotund goalie to death on the ice, that historically obese man could be a cost-efficient and effective goaltender. But what are the chances of that wondrous hog existing, and events unfolding in such a way? Pretty slim.

A man can dream though...a man can dream.

[Bannedforlife 403]

I don't know. Can your mom skate?

[GMRwings1983 8,803]

Who need a morbidly obese goalie when you can just borrow J.S. Giguere's goalie equipment, and suddenly become a clutch playoff goalie.

[SouthernWingsFan 854]

I dunno, remember how big/fat Goldberg was for District-5/the Mighty Ducks? He 'tended the team for the District=5 Minneapolis championship AND won a medal helping beat powerhouse Iceland in the Hockey Junior Goodwill Games!

[timothy1997 0]

I dunno, remember how big/fat Goldberg was for District-5/the Mighty Ducks? He 'tended the team for the District=5 Minneapolis championship AND won a medal helping beat powerhouse Iceland in the Hockey Junior Goodwill Games!

excellent point!

If it worked in the Mighty Ducks, it will work in the NHL.

[Lou_Siffer 1]

Fat chance...

[Guest EZBAKETHAGANGSTA]

Fat chance...

Why you saturate these boreds with your witty puns

I can see st. louis now, f*** U LEGACE WERE PUTTING KEITH TKCHUK IN NET!

[Lou_Siffer 1]

Why you saturate these boreds with your witty puns

I can see st. louis now, f*** U LEGACE WERE PUTTING KEITH TKCHUK IN NET!

That might be a good idea considering after the Anaheim trade, the days of Tkachuk being a Weight watcher are over. Now he has McDonald feeding him.

[Krystal 41]

I don't know whether I should laugh or cry... because my hockey-stupid husband asked me this VERY question not terribly long ago.

Of course, having yet to have been near an actual net - he thinks they're small.. seeing that's how they look on television. At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[Bluedevils_13 0]

I wonder why there isnt any pictures, the whole setup seems like it would be funny.