I don't own many Jersey's, but I have a signed #59.
Do not listen to the beta Larkin orbiting incels. 2uzzi is Yzerman's top guy.
Tyler has what we call in the sales business "X-factor". AKA panache, savoir faire, jen ne sais quoi, swagger, machismo. An indescribable ability and allure. He's like a wild stallion. The wild stallion scares the soft men. What if he bites me? What if he kicks me? What if he bucks me off? But hard men see the oppurtunity. Hard men know if you can wrangle this beast he'll be the most majestic steed in the stable. Yzerman is a hard man.
You have 12 hours to spend with a player alone in a room. You have 2 options. Behind door 1 is Zetterberg. Behind door 2 is Tyler Bertuzzi.
Most fans would choose door 1. Zetterberg's a legend right? How could you not choose that? But for 12 hours you will watch him comb his hair, read a book silently, contemplate stoically, and get an occasional story about his playing days, but he mostly wants to talk about his coffee shop/bakery in Sweden.
Behind door 2 on the other hand, Bertuzzi is waiting for you with a 30 rack of natty light (he's already had x5), and the skynyrd is already going on the boom box. You play beer bong together all night and swap stories about chix you piped, fishing trips, wild parties you were at, trucks you like, and jam out to rock n roll. 5 years after the greatest night of your life you get mugged in an alley. But before they can hurt you or take anything Bertuzzi shows up out of the shadows and whoops their ass white trash style. He doesn't say anything when it's all over, but gives you the standard downward nod and disappears into the night. And you never regret picking door #2.