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Member Since 22 May 2007
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#2026553 Bold Predicitions for the 2010-2011 Season

Posted by 55fan on 16 August 2010 - 03:21 PM

And also dealing with an off-ice transvestite hooker scandal.

Good heavens! I should hope that would be an off-ice scandal.

#2026340 Wings sign Ilari Filppula 1yr/$500k

Posted by 55fan on 15 August 2010 - 04:31 PM

The odds of him getting on the team are pretty slim. Talking about something hockey-related in the offseason that hasn't been hashed and rehashed is what is keeping this thread going.

That said, if he comes along and puts all of his competition to shame, I'll be the last to complain. I can dig it when anyone comes along and shines surprisingly bright for Detroit.

If he does make it, I hope we can trade for Selanne so we can find out what the Finnish translation is for "two kids and a goat".

#2026133 Red Wing Fans... Prepare for glory.

Posted by 55fan on 14 August 2010 - 04:31 PM

from twitter:

"The Stanley Cup is currently filled with Buffalo wings. Was told Cup handlers had to call to double-check before giving okay on that one"


So the cup is filled with wings.

Perhaps a good omen?

If the wings win the cup next year i will personally mail patrick kane a case of beer.

OK, but be sure that it's really cheap beer and put it old plastic bottles so he doesn't get the 20 cents for returning the cans.

#2026129 This or That

Posted by 55fan on 14 August 2010 - 04:15 PM

Daisy always struck me as a *****. She strings poor Donald (who has always struck me as an arrogant a$$hole) along until he blows up. Usually I think he needs to take a Valium, but where she's concerned, I think he needs to slap the *****.
Minnie is just a ditz. She wins due to lack of annoyingness.

Candles or air fresheners?

#2025890 Wings sign Ilari Filppula 1yr/$500k

Posted by 55fan on 13 August 2010 - 04:01 PM

Is that a new iphone app?

No. It's just something to freak out Gaborik if he's reading on this site.

#2025790 Hockey withdrawals

Posted by 55fan on 13 August 2010 - 11:03 AM

You poor thing. Let's look at your options.

1) Take a large sheet of graph paper. Make a rink out of it with each square=1 square inch of ice surface. Calculate what blade curve would produce the best chance of scoring for each degree off of square that the shooter is off, based on the net, when shooting. Calculate the trajectory needed to hit each zone. Repeat with non-dominant hand for reference for other-handed players. Compare stats with Eva for verification.

2) Hang out in the Hottest Wings thread. Go back to the beginning- 700+ pages ago- and look at all of the pictures (most of which have been moved or expired).

3) Trace the genealogy of all major hockey players and determine which of their common relatives would produce the best hockey player. Find them and take samples of their reproductive starter kits. Mate them in a lab. Find women willing to carry them to term and raise them as the next generation of the Greatest Team on Earth. (see above suggestion for potential volunteer list)

4) Get back in the Water Cooler and finish your freakin' great adventure.

#2025502 Red Wing Fans... Prepare for glory.

Posted by 55fan on 12 August 2010 - 12:27 PM

Sounds hot if you ask me :thumbup:

Yeah. Kronner/Modano (assuming Lids/Raf on the 1st) still leaves Stuie, who does a decent job, for injury relief.

I'm liking it.

#2025272 Kirk Maltby

Posted by 55fan on 11 August 2010 - 07:12 PM

Maybe he'd rather stay near home (as opposed to moving to another state) and play with the GR kids where he can be "the Man" and show them a thing or two. Then he can be a Black Ace for the playoffs. IfWhen we make it to the finals, he can hop in for an injured player for at least one game, still get his name on the Cup and retire with his good buddy Drapes.

Or maybe he has just been a Wing for so long that it would be icky to be anything else.

#2025261 Washington Capitols really were put on Wales trophy...

Posted by 55fan on 11 August 2010 - 06:45 PM

"... So I said, 'Sidney, if the towels aren't hot enough, I'm giving your trophy to Alex.' and he told me that he could win it on his own. I laughed, but the darndest thing happened. Right after I called you and told you to give it to Alex I got bumped in the head by a penis- hard! No, the bump was hard, not, well now that you mention it... Anyway back to the trophy. The guy who bumped me said it wasn't his fault; that it was a matter of physics. He's 6'6", you see. Yeah, really. What? You just mind your own beeswax, mister. That's for me to know and for you to find out.

"And so I really need you to re-engrave that Hartford Whales trophy. What? Oh, sorry. Prince of Wales. I don't know these hockey things, man. I'm just in it for the money. Yeah, it can wait until you get back from your trip to Vegas- just don't forget to do it or we'll both be embarrassed. Right...Flyers. Thanks, and this conversation never happened, right? Right."

#2024435 Wings sign Ruslan Salei

Posted by 55fan on 09 August 2010 - 01:58 PM

As a Lilja fan, this is sad for me as it now looks like he will not be returning to us. I wish him happiness wherever he goes.

Salei has not caught my attention in the NHL, but he did catch my attention during the Olympics. I think that since players put it all on the line during the Olympics, that this is a better indicator of how someone plays during the playoffs than the regular season.

That said, if he is playing as a bottom pair guy, he really can't hurt us too much if he is just consistent and steady with no intellectual interludes. If he brings it in the big games, he will do well in the playoffs.

I'm trusting Babcock on this one. He knows better than anyone.

EDIT to add: Off to find Edi and share a bottle of something that will knock our livers to San Jose or further. :P

#2023468 This or That

Posted by 55fan on 06 August 2010 - 08:50 PM

Please don't. I'm allergic to most kinds.

EDIT: Lucky I don't hold a grudge, Dawn. You beat me.

I don't hold grudges, but I do reserve the right to be cautious around someone in the future.

Greatest American player ever: Cheli or Modano?

#2022636 Red wings Photos

Posted by 55fan on 05 August 2010 - 03:45 AM

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#2021929 Bold Predicitions for the 2010-2011 Season

Posted by 55fan on 03 August 2010 - 10:13 AM

Howe taking out Pronger would warm my heart.

Let's see...

Lilja returns to the Wings and has a great season.

Someone finally tells Pierre that he's creepy and needs to back off in an interview. If they say, "Quit rubbing your **** on my shorts." on live TV, I will be their fan for life unless it's Pronger or another untouchable.

Tampa wins the Cup by beating the Wings, which causes Wings fans to experience such a paradoxical situation that LGW disbands for the summer so that we can all get extensive therapy.

The Canadian government reveals the results of a super-secret DNA project from the 80's and 90's wherein they took DNA from the best to create the Ultimate Hockey Player. Excitement dies down when "Wayne" -as he is called- proves to have the hands of Bill Clement, the pugilistic skills of Wayne Gretzky, the masculinity of Pierre McGuire, the face of Mike Ricci, the speed of Derian Hatcher, and the singing talent of Darren McCarty.

Someone spells Valtteri Filppula right.

#2021327 Corey Perry

Posted by 55fan on 01 August 2010 - 05:49 PM

Perry is the annoying kid that followed you around on the playground. You'd love to smack him, but he'd tell the teacher and you'd get detention. He threatens you, but all it is is talk and bother. You know that one of these days he'll get his, and you'll laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

I don't wish an off-ice injury on the guy. I just hope that he gets ragdolled like Ericsson did to him again- only this time by someone with serious fighting skills. I'd have loved to see what Probert or Kocur could have done to him.

#2021309 Wings offer Aaron Downey Tryout?

Posted by 55fan on 01 August 2010 - 04:44 PM

I miss his photos.
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I wish him well no matter where life takes him. Even if he ends up a Duck, I still wish him well off the ice.