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55fan

Member Since 22 May 2007
Offline Last Active Today, 01:57 AM
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#2653639 2/18 GDT : Red Wings at Pittsburgh Penguins, 7:00 EST

Posted by 55fan on 18 February 2016 - 07:48 PM

Q's beard...

Has its own zip code and several yet-undiscovered life forms.




#2653636 2/18 GDT : Red Wings at Pittsburgh Penguins, 7:00 EST

Posted by 55fan on 18 February 2016 - 07:46 PM

please tell me we haven't scored our one and only goal for the evening....

We haven't scored our one and only goal for the evening.




#2653615 2/18 GDT : Red Wings at Pittsburgh Penguins, 7:00 EST

Posted by 55fan on 18 February 2016 - 07:37 PM

All even now.  Let's score some more!




#2653566 2/18 GDT : Red Wings at Pittsburgh Penguins, 7:00 EST

Posted by 55fan on 18 February 2016 - 05:55 PM

I know it's been years since 2009, but I still want to beat the Penis every time we play them just to get them back for winning the Cup.
Weird thing is that if they'd won in 2008 and we in 2009, I'd consider us even.

 

Go Wings!




#2651999 2/10 GDT : Ottawa Senators at Red Wings, 7:00 EST

Posted by 55fan on 10 February 2016 - 09:38 PM

That's how you get Helm to score!  Take out the goalie.




#2651952 2/10 GDT : Ottawa Senators at Red Wings, 7:00 EST

Posted by 55fan on 10 February 2016 - 09:13 PM

We have too much man on the ice any time Z's beard is on the ice.

Much too manly.


Pah.  Even 5 on 3 we're still more manly.




#2651334 New NHL website design....

Posted by 55fan on 07 February 2016 - 01:22 AM

This is why we can't have nice things.




#2651134 2/6 GDT : New York Islanders at Red Wings, 7:30 EST

Posted by 55fan on 06 February 2016 - 05:40 AM

NHL . com says the game is on at 2 ET.  Someone is going to have to yell extra hard for the first two periods.  Hopefully I'll be home from work to take over yelling duties by the third period.

 

GO WINGS!




#2651048 Official Detroit Lions thread

Posted by 55fan on 05 February 2016 - 02:02 PM

So the Lions new Gm and assistant gm are both from the Patriots front office, here's to hoping we get some of the success they've had in the last decade and a half.

That's a good fit.  The Lions have been finding new ways to deflate our balls for years.




#2650652 All Star Skills Competition

Posted by 55fan on 30 January 2016 - 07:56 PM

 

I'd vote for either Brent (Chewy) Burns or PK (Jagr) Subban.  It's a hard one.

Same here.  Jagr's reaction was hilarious. 

There was some serious skill there too, but the funny was strong with Burns.




#2650630 All Star Skills Competition

Posted by 55fan on 30 January 2016 - 07:36 PM

Way to go, Larkin!  Way to represent!

Even managed the interview well.




#2650522 Amusing stories you have heard or lived.

Posted by 55fan on 29 January 2016 - 08:45 PM

My friend's son started college this fall.  I was his Sunday school teacher in 4th and 5th grades, so we know each other pretty well.  He is one of the most hilarious people I've ever met.  I can talk to him for hours and laugh the whole time.

 

When he left for school, I told him that if he ever needed anything to feel free to call or text or facebook.  We'd gotten together to talk on facebook a lot before he started to meet people there.  Mostly we just joked around, but some of it was serious.  He's rather shy, especially around girls, so we talked about how to meet girls a lot too.

 

He knows I have a keen interest in all things medical, so he asked me (on facebook) one Saturday about a medical question.  His stools were black.  I ran through the checklist of things it could be.  Nothing.  I told him to keep me posted.  On Sunday they'd turned green.  I asked him a lot of questions about what he'd eaten etc.  I was pretty sure at this point that it was just something he ate, but I made sure he knew where his insurance card was (he didn't know) and where the hospital was (he didn't know) and I made him promise that he would go in if he experienced any of a long list of symptoms I gave him.

 

Monday was Labor Day, so I figured he'd be sleeping in.  I texted him around noon to see how he was doing.  We had rarely texted before, but I was at work, and I don't have a smartphone (I know, right?) so I kept it short and sweet:  "Have you pooped today and what colour was it?"

 

I didn't get a response.  I waited and about an hour later he texted back.  He was driving a girl(!) to the store and being a responsible adult, he chose not to text and drive.  Instead, he had her read the message to him. 

 

He thanked me for that.




#2650466 Amusing stories you have heard or lived.

Posted by 55fan on 29 January 2016 - 10:55 AM

Another graveyard shift story-

 

This was many, many years ago.  A guy came in wearing a baseball cap, glasses, sandals, one of those half t-shirts, and a g-string.  He was followed by another guy who was giggling and carrying a video camera.  This was back in the days before smart phones and (fortunately) the internet as we know it.

 

Videotaping was not allowed in the store, but since there was no way of it getting out for the world to see, I didn't stop him and just went along to see how it all played out.

 

The guy in the g-string strutted (like he had anything worth strutting) back to the pop section of the cooler.  I kept a straight face.  It just about killed me, but I managed to look bored.

 

He brought his pop to the counter and gave me a $10.  I gave him his change.  He held the coins in his hand but put the bills in the g-string, saying, "I like to keep my bills in here."

 

You know how you always think of something funny to say when it's too late?  Yeah.  I'd been keeping the perfect straight face, but the perfect comeback was out of my mouth before I could stop it.

 

As soon as he tucked the bills in the g-string, I said, "Good thing they're small bills."

 

His friend was doubled over laughing, unable to tape.  The guy turned beet red and I had to crack a smile.

 

Wanting to let him off the hook, I said, "Is this for a bet or dare or something?"

 

He chuckled and went back to the same strutting-type personality he had before and said, "Why no.  Why do you ask?"

 

They left laughing.  I smiled and had fits of giggles for the rest of the night.




#2650464 Amusing stories you have heard or lived.

Posted by 55fan on 29 January 2016 - 10:47 AM

I work in a gas station.  That's all the intro this needs.

 

One night I was working graveyards and a guy came in and announced to the entire place that his ass was chafing.

 

He was wearing those long silky basketball shorts and had tucked them into his butt crack.  He asked if I would recommend vasoline or baby powder.  I knew we carried vasoline so I recommended it.

 

He bought some, opened it up, stuck his fingers in the jar and proceeded to stick his hand down the back of his shorts RIGHT THERE AT THE COUNTER!
 

Then he announced that he was going to have to shave his ass because his butt hairs made the vasoline clumpy.




#2650105 1/25 GDT - Red Wings 4 at Islanders 2

Posted by 55fan on 25 January 2016 - 08:51 PM

I think I like playing in this new venue.  We're not losing like we did at the old one.