BottleOfSmoke

Can we just acknowledge how impressive it is that I remembered my login? I hope everyone is eating enough protein, getting enough sleep, paying their bills and worshiping our lord and savior Steve Yzerzeus. *kiss kiss*

How we doin’ here boys and ghouls?? We kickin’ tires? Someone post the Hudler bathtub pic-BoS OUT. LGW!

Reporting in for my sweet, sweet protein facial

Just popping out of lurkdom to bask in this glorious day when our lord Stevesus Yzermanchrist hath descended from the heavens and blessed us with the glory of his presence amen hallelujah kick the tires and light the fires GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY LGW!

In the spirit of full disclosure, I’ve never set foot on hfboards THANK YOU VERY MUCH. So if there’s someone Bettying it up over there they’re a GD IMPOSTER. I just took a Hockey Break (tm). Detroit Red Wings, unlike Zetterberg, I CAN’T QUIT YOU. Rest easy, my dude—I’m still kickin’. I think?

If anything can bring me out of the woodwork, it’s news of My Lord and Savior Stevesus Yzermanchrist making his long overdue return to the Motherland to (not) strap on his skates and lead us to a threepeat, a super bowl win, and the end of the Flint water crisis. The part of my brain that’s not having a fever dream hopes that all is well with his family, has tempered expectations that he will ever return to the Wings franchise in any official capacity, and will wait and see how this pans out like a normal-functioning human being. But I’d be lying if I said my initial reaction to the original tweets wasn’t to aggressively hump the nearest inanimate (or not—sorry Lesley) object whilst scream-singing Don’t Stop Believing. Whatevs.

Doing a butt pat driveby for beating the ******* s***hawks because f*** them

Well, damn. 8 butt pats for all! or is that OVER 9000?

I've been compared to Tina from Bob's Burgers, does that count? Also fu**k Hudler. No one better post that bathtub pick that makes me never want to have tHe sEx ever again.

Let's just throw live babies on the ice and be tHE MOST METAL TEAM IN THA NHL

*belated butt pats*

... *pats butts*

*bows* *lights s**t on fire*

OMG yes you dooo way to go, Paul