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Holland trades down every single one of our picks. We end up with all 30 7th round picks, and draft the entire Swedish pee-wee league championship team. Then, he re-signs Ericsson, Eaves, Miller, MacDonald, and Salei. Finally, on the last day before training camp, Holland completes the roster by signing the wily veteran Joe Skrubz for his invaluable "experience" and "leadership". Holland proclaims the off-season to be the busiest and most successful in Red Wings' history. When asked why the team was barely able to clear the cap floor, Holland cites that free agent prices were "too high" and his desire to save cap space for injuries and make trades at the deadline. LGW members rally in support of their GM, arguing that signing any free agent for anything close to fair market value is ridiculous, insisting that we must save cap space to re-sign our own free agents the following off-season. They then proceed to mock all other NHL GMs for their gross overpayment of trade and free agent acquisitions, and declare Ken Holland the greatest general manager in the history of professional sports. Not surprisingly, a dejected Nicklas Lidstrom decides to announce he will retire early after reporting to training camp to learn that he is expected to lead this team to the Stanley Cup. Nevertheless, the Lidstrom-less Wings hit the season in full stride, shattering league records for wins, points, and shootout losses while coasting to their 21st consecutive playoff berth. Then, despite most analyst's predictions of an evenly matched, hard fought 7 game series, the President's Trophy winning Red Wings manage to pimp-slap the lowly Albuquerque Desert Mongrels back to the stone age in a savage 4 game beatdown. Puppy dogs and ice cream rule the day as LGW erupts with jubilation, spawning countless "We believe" and "This is the Year" threads. Rested and confident, the Red Wings advance to the second round to face their arch-rivals, the Golden State Toilet Fish... However, confidence quickly turns to apprehension when it is discovered that the Red Wings might have to break a sweat on their preordained crusade for the Stanley Cup. Though unpleasant to watch, Babcock is not concerned when the Red Wings break an NHL record during their game 1 loss after they suffer the most fatalities in a playoff home game (4), reiterating that "the power play is our enforcer". Holland appears unfazed as well, announcing that the team will promote young players to replace the deceased; Cleary (head trauma), Bertuzzi (complications from bite wound), Holmstrom (natural causes), and Hudler (decapitated while attempting to skate onto the bench, running into the door that has been inadvertently stuck shut. Eva maintains that he is still a top 5 playmaker in the world). LGW reaction is mixed and violent, but all are soothed when they learn that Franzen will return after missing 81 regular season games and the entire first round with a torn Anterior Nejrav Flavin. Their faith is rewarded when Franzen leads the team to a game 2 victory by effortlessly scoring 60 goals in 60 minutes. Replays of the game-winning goal show Franzen yawn as he skates into the neutral zone, deke all 3 Golden State forwards, skate onto the opposing bench, pull out Pavelski's mouth guard and throw it to the ice, pause to text message Bjork back in the Fjordland, jump back onto the ice, split the defense, and deftly flip it in top shelf. The play is featured at #10 on Sportcenter's top 10 plays of the night, followed by 9 different ways LeBron James managed to dunk a ball that night. Unfortunately the victory is short-lived, as the Toilet Fish manage to eke out a pair of 1 goal games on their home ice. Though the series shifts back to Detroit with the Red Wings facing elimination for the third straight year, confidence amongst the faithful remains high. After all, the Wings have out-scored the Fish by nearly 60 goals throughout the series! Game 5 starts off fast and exhilarating, with both teams exchanging huge saves and momentum-shifting goals. Things couldn't get any more exciting when Zetterberg ties the game at the buzzer and sends it into overtime! Fond memories flood the arena as images of Stevie Y jumping and flailing his arms after his double overtime game winner against St Louis flash on the jumbo-tron. Then the unthinkable happens. As both teams return to their benches at the end of intermission, fans are stunned as they watch Ryane Clowe, sidelined since game 1 with a severed arm, walk down the tunnel and take his seat on the bench. The crowd at the Joe is horrified as they watch, as though it were scripted in a movie, Ryane Clowe manage to single-handedly (!!!) power his way through Ericsson and Kindl (shocking) and jam home the series clinching goal. LGW plunges into agonizing despair for about half a day, until a consensus is reached that injuries and travel are to blame, in addition to Brad McCrimmon, despite the fact that he hasn't been seen in over 8 months after disappearing in a Siberian Gulag. This rationalization allows order to return and gloating over our 4th Stanley Cup in, ummmm, 16 years now??? to resume. Or something like that.

Babcock vs. Jagr would be epic. Babcock doesn't appear to like Hudler too much, but at least Hudler works hard. When he doesn't, you get his performance the first couple months of last season. Jagr is the epitome of a floater who has always gotten by on natural talent. Which has worked fine, given his sick combination of strength, speed, and skill. But now he's 40. And still a floater. Doesn't have the same speed, skill is down... and he doesn't have that overpowering strength he once had. Although why not sign Jagr and Vrbata, and we could have the best Czeching line in the league!

Considering that Pavel keeps pictures of Jesus, Mary and St Nicholas (the Russian saint, not the Captain of the Wings) in his locker, I think a religious person would be in good company. I honestly have to question some people's perception of others and how quickly we jump to conclusions. It's insulting to the majority of Christians I know, including myself. Honestly, I can't remember his exact words, but it was something to the effect of living his own life by what he feels is right and not what others think. So he doesn't cave in to negative pressure. Not a bad thing for a kid.

Holland turned one pick (#24) into two picks (#35 and #48). Without making this move, the Wings only get one of those players. THAT is the point!!

I dunno. With enough stats I could be convinced. You know, +/- is overrated and stuff.

Don't believe Eva when he tells you we already have that in Hudler.

I wasn't really following. Did Wings draft anyone like this: Height 5'7 Weight 250 Born in Sweden Grew up at a farm in Ontario First name Björn or Håkan Last name Smith or Jones Right hand shot Dekes and fights A natural sniper Can be a top 6 forward and a top 4 defenceman at the same time Atheist Quote: "My main goal in life is to please everyone." ?

False.

Are we really get THIS upset over Brent ******* Burns?

Pulkkinen had some freak injuries, he wasn't injury prone, and just played a full SML season and competed in the playoffs and WJHC. He's fine. Why do we have to wait 10 years to satisfy you? I'll get back to you in a couple months to see our guys tearing up leagues that 1st rounders aren't even doing as well in.

Look no further, there were character issues: I don't want that on my team.

Old lady: I'm not an old lady, I'm Brian Burke, and I was just trying to find out where the bathroom is!

Huge steal by the Senators.

The Lightning did pick Ritola up on waivers.

how does wisniewski even replace rafalski? we are worse than last year ATM. and ya, id trade a prospect that might not make an impact in the nhl for a franchise dman. so ya, im pretty pissed. all our rivals are getting better and we are getting worse. why do you think babs would say he was pissed? cause he thought we coulda had him. we had a higher first round pick, then add a top six (fil or franzen) and a upper prospect. id do that. thats not blowing up our team. it certainly didn't blow up sj's team.

im ******* pissed too. i was pushing as hard as anyone to land this guy. shows that a trade was possible, and people (babs) felt like we should have picked him up. f*** holland. carter, richards, and now burns? god i don't see this offseason going well anymore.

Keep him far, FAR away from the Wings... I want nothing to do with that little turd

do not want rocco grimaldi at all!!!! anyone see his interview on tsn? they were talking about how he is all religious and rocco said something about guys on the team who do things that are "wrong" the quickly corrected himself by saying guys who do things he "doesn't agree with" in regards to drinking alcohol and such.... sounds like he would be a cancer in the locker room.

Have to temper that. Maybe so, but that is because he was terrible since he got to Toronto and had a bunch of Draft picks from trades. He also left many better picks on the table because he made awful trades. Factor in his mistakes and this draft doesn't look so great. Oh and he STILL does not have a number one center. We STILL don't have a number two d man, but if we don't get one Kronner moves up, if he doesn't get the Center no one moves up. Really, Bruke still sucks by comparison.

Yippie ******* doo.... This is supposed to be the best off season the Wings have had in a long LONG time and Holland has done nothing so far... Oooo, I am gonna make some trades on draft day, Oooo we are gonna make some deals... Strike one Holland....Strike One.... tomorrow is another swing at bat....July 1st is your last swing.... Do not strike out.... yet again. Very disappointed thus far with Holland...

I agree. Holland made his offer, if Jagr doesn't like it, oh well, Holland has better plans with that $16M than to give $4M of it to Jagr. Far better players out there to offer $3M-$4M to instead of and younger than Jagr... I am ok with him being a Red Wing, but only on Holland's terms. I'd rather see most of that cash spent on the Defense...

Yeah, I'm almost hoping Larrson is Howard's backup - he just seems really talented to me, and cocky goalies are not exactly the worst thing. Ideally he would be the starter in GR for one more year though.

Pierre McGuire is a dumbass.

Running out of UFA's...

Jagr