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banging bedards dad

Perron with the ENG! Victory! Wings win 5-2! Something special about handing the Bruins BOTH of their two regulation losses!

A review of this years UFA class: 1. Alex Debrincat Class: xXx_ELITE_Sniper_xXx Strengths: 360 no-scope head shots Weaknesses: Smol cuterino 2. JT Compher Class: Old Fren Strengths: Will aid in you in your quests. Can call on him anytime. Always picks up the phone. Thank you fren. Weaknesses: Knows all your secrets 3. Klim Kostin Class: Soviet heavy tank Strengths: Drunk and violent Weaknesses: Violent and drunk 4. Daniel Sprong Class: Divorced middle-aged father Strengths: Not actually divorced, middle-aged, or a father. Master of disguise, which he uses to fool opponents. Weaknesses: Not actually a master of disguise, just aging very badly for a 26 year old. 5. Christian Fischer Class: Acquaintance Strengths: Gives you the silent downward acknowledging head nod that all men do when you pass by each other, and doesn't push your relationship farther than that. Weaknesses: Just some guy at the office that you're aware of. You have no idea what he does there and often forget his name. 6. Shayne Gostisbehere Class: Ghost Bear Strengths: Can pass through walls and will bring you salmon Weaknesses: Your trash bins are flipped over every morning 7. Justin Holl Class: Bad defenceman Strengths: Makes your other defencemen look good Weaknesses: Makes your defense look bad 8. James Reimer Class: Cleric Strengths: Hates rainbows Weaknesses: Has none since he accepted Jesus and Mel Gibson into his heart

I don't care whether Seider fights or not, but I do wish Kostin/Fischer/Chiarot would have beat the sh*t out of someone last night. Both Fabbri and Larkin got hit hard in the numbers. Would have liked to see some kind of response there.

I get lots of stuff wrong, so let me bask in the glow of having gotten this right.

This one feels good. This one feels really, really good.

Another great game! Straight up had a good time!

The more I think about it the more I think Yzerman makes one or two trady-poohs. He'll never have Mo n Ray n Kane n Ras n Walman this cheap at the same time ever again. Upgrade the D and add a top 6 winger.

>badluck Luring an aged but productive superstar to Detroit at low cost, with the current state of the team, is masterful GM work. Wings fans... are we already spoiled again? We had no business signing Patrick Kane at all. But Yzerman got it done. Shut your mouths and appreciate it. My favorite, and simultaneously least favorite, thing about the wings fan base has always been how spoiled we are. It's fun to look down on the inferior sub-teams when we have Lidstrom and Yzerman and Zetterberg and dominate for over a decade. And I encourage this behavior. But when we have no business bragging, STFU and appreciate what little we have. Suggesting near ppg Patrick Kane is a problem is insane, and every other team would love to have him at the price we got him. Talking about luck is just insane in general. And yes I realize OP is a bait fish. But I feel like it's good time to point how much of a large stride we made this past year. We are on track to be looking down our nose at the rest of the league again in a few years. I truly miss the days when I could walk into a Vancouver bar on a night they're playing Nashville or something, in my Wings jersey, and both fan bases chant F the Wings. I miss being universally hated for our yankee level success so much. But fuqqing know when it's time sock betch.

My job requires it.

Hey, look who we found!

Veleno is stepping up in a big way.

I heard he had a deal done w Chicago, but he backed out at the last minute because he was afraid Perry would bang his mom.

OT victory! Love to see it!

This is another instance in which I don't think we're seeing the same things. I saw Berggren making plays all over the ice that his linemates couldn't finish, not the other way around. At one point his linemates were Zadina and Veleno, there was no chance either of those dudes were finishing the plays he set up.

It's all Stevie Y, and Mo is a product of him. That said Mo is a generational talent. I stand by that. He's 22 and arguably one of the best Dmen in the league. He's on pace to shatter hitting and blocked shot records. He also scores points if that matters. We drafted our own Chelios. 53 is going to end up in the rafters one day.

I respect everyone's opinions on this. But I'm prepared to throw down over this. Or at least rant a bit. My opinion: We need scoring punch in the worst way, and we've needed it in the worst way for the better part of a decade, and we've had all these draft picks and all these prospects and all these free agent opportunities and all these trade opportunities......... .........yet somehow we still desperately need scoring punch. I wanted Matthew Tkachuk. "Too expensive," people said. OK. Fair enough. But if you want a bigger, grittier, more complete version of DeBrincat, you're basically looking for a unicorn - unless you want to pay out the ass, or unless you get really lucky in the draft. I think the time's come for us to get serious about really, truly moving forward. I love David Perron - but I hate that he's one of our top two wingers at this stage of the rebuild. It's unacceptable to me. We've got a lot of good young players in our system right now, that's true. And that's good. And we'll need them to be good. And they probably will be good. But there's no rule that says we can't trade for other teams' young players. We can sit here and say "Nah, f*** this goal-scoring punk. If he REALLY wants to be a Wing, he'll sit out for a year and wait until free agency next summer." And we can watch that ship sail away. And that will be the 415th ship we've watched sail away since the start of this rebuild - because "Nah it just didn't make sense for us, given where we're at. I'd rather we do the other thing [which we won't end up doing]." And we can spend another year losing close games because we can't score goals. Or......................... ...............we can say "F*** the police" and grab the 25-year-old right-shooting goal-scoring winger right now and sign him to a big deal and take our chances with that investment. "But do you really want to chance it?" Yes, I do. We have all the cap flexibility an organization could ever want. All the money in the Bertuzzi fund can now be used for other stuff. All the money in the Vrana fund can now be used for other stuff. And we also have draft capital. "Yeah, but our young guys are going to start eating up cap space really quickly." Maybe they will, maybe they won't. What I care about now is getting solid footing. Tangible things. Known things. Alex DeBrincat has scored 40 goals twice. He's a natural scorer. He can and will put up points. These are known things. I don't want to go through the motions for another 82 games and accept that we don't need to ice the best damned lineup we can ice "because it's just not time yet. I think we need at least one more really good draft." We've been saying "We just need one more really good draft" for the past 500 years. Enough already! If we can land DeBrincat without giving up our 1st, I think that's a major coup. Pick a name out of a hat for that pick. Let's call it Nate Danielson. If we land DeBrincat and Nate Danielson, I think that's bloody fantastic. All of a sudden we're talking about Larkin, Kasper, Danielson, Veleno down the middle. All of a sudden we're talking about flanking those guys with DeBrincat, Raymond, Mazur, et al. I don't want to wait a second longer than we have to on taking the next step. I don't want to rush it, but I do want to push it. I don't want our young leaders to grow any more accustomed to losing than they already are. We need to start winning games. We need to start doing that whole "winning culture" thing now - not two or three years from now. So. Give me a proven scorer. Who's 25 years old. And who shoots right. And who's from Detroit. [/rant]

Goal-tending has been trash this year, but Lalonde isn't doing anything within the realm of appropriate to cover for that weakness. For example, when Babs saw his entire defense become complete poopy besides Kronwall (DK, KFQ, Kindl, Smith, Ouellet, and Marchenko rounding out the roster) he appropriately buttoned down the hatches, and it worked. Why? Because he correctly identified that still had superb defensive forwards in his forward group, like Datsyuk, Zetterberg, Helm, Glendening, and others, as well as a decent enough goalie in Howard. So he could go into a low event shell (and play entire games this way), and his forwards and goalie would cover for his terrible D. It sucked for us fans to watch, but it worked and we still managed to make the playoffs. THIS team is not built at all the same way. 1. We have no Howards - our net is trash 2. The only good shutdown defenders we have are Walman and Seider, and in fact we have multiple purely offensive minded Dmen like Ghost and Petry. 3. We have exactly ZERO stalwart defensive forwards. Our best probably being Compher (And DO NOT tell me Dylan zero Selke votes Larkin is some kind of Zberg or Dats). What this team does well is SCORE. Dcat, Larkin, Raymond, Kane, Ghost, Seider, Compher, even Walman is hitting the stat sheet like never before in his career. We are not built to back off. If we backoff our terrible goalies get lit up and there's no one to stop that. If Lalonde was intelligent he would have realized this 20 games ago. We HAVE to play a full 60, and we HAVE to go for number 6 and 7 when we are up by 5. It's the only way. Fuq Derek this guy is trash.

Brilliant decision to not dress Kostin against one of the most physical teams in the league

I need to look into how to do this. I'm 47 years old, so this isn't as simple for me. But it would be cool if I hosted it. "Good afternoon, fellow Red Wings Fans AKA Complete Retards. Today, we're going to be talking about Jakub Vrana. Sixer, let's talk about his cocaine habit and whether or not he can hide it from the boss. I don't think so, but why don't you let us in a little bit on your knowhow here." "Well, Jonas. It's only easy to conceal if you're not doing 50 grams a week. Sneaking an 8 ball into a club now and then is as easy as wearing a third sock on one of your feet and nobody noticing. But he must be ingesting an enormous amount for him to be this lethargic, lazy, and suck this much without it." "Interesting. Is Marc still on the line?" "Yah, he's been waiting for 20 minutes. Want to go to him now?" "Marc, tell us what you think about the Jakub "The Iceman" Vrana." "Well, I ..." "Thanks Marc. Good input as always. Now, onto the Carley vs Daniella - Who's more bangable and why debate. I'm going to have to take this one seeing as FMichael hasn't had sex in 6 years, and 6er and Akabuto are both ***. I'm gonna go with Daniella here. Let me tell you why ..."